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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2 Broke Girls’ Han “Bryce” Lee

September 23rd, 2011 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

I watched the pilot episode of 2 Broke Girls this week, even though multi-camera sitcoms really aren’t my thing. (Give me one hour dramas with teens or monsters or, even better, teens and monsters, any night of the week.) The CBS sitcom is about two women who form an unlikely friendship waitressing together at a greasy spoon in a not-cool neighborhood in Brooklyn.

And I liked it. Mostly. Beth Behrs is appealing as Caroline, the suddenly broke daughter of a disgraced Madoff-like figure, and Kat Dennings, who plays snarky Max, is infinitely watchable.

The same can’t be said for the show’s other characters, who are little more than a collection of broad, hacky, outmoded–even for network television–stereotypes, like Oleg, the pervy Russian Ukrainian cook who hits on the girls all day long, or Earl, the old, black wisecracking cashier who appears to be bound to his chair in the corner, or, worst of all, Han “Bryce” Lee, the Korean immigrant owner of the diner.

Han, who changes his name to “Bryce,” so that, as Dennings’ Max puts it, “people [can] take him even less seriously” than they already do, is a clueless, little man who spreaks Engrish and has no grasp of American culture. In an earlier draft of the pilot, he was actually named “Rice Lee,” so I guess that’s progress?

No. Not really.

It being 2011 and all, shouldn’t “ethnic” characters be more by now than just the butt of jokes made by pretty girls?

[CBS.com: 2 Broke Girls]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! This Wack “How To Be Asian” Tutorial

August 12th, 2011 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

Here’s a video on “How To Be Asian” by some chick named Nicole. It’s supposed to be funny or something? Apparently it’s an inside joke and part of an ongoing schtick of Nicole’s that involves putting shit on her face to become another race (black, usually) and maybe being self-satirizing about it but also maybe just being lazy and racist.

Taped eyes? Yellowface? Ching chong? Yawn.

The real tip on “How To Be Asian” that’s missing from the vid? If you want to be Asian, rule number one is Don’t Suck. I don’t know if this video was supposed to make me laugh or give me an outrage boner but neither happened. It just kinda hung there like a stale fart waiting to be collected in a glass jar and ushered out of the room so the rest of us could carry on. It was meh, it was mediocre. Mediocrity, of course, is failure, and failure isn’t Asian.

[LA Weekly: How to Become Asian: Alexandra Wallace Wannabe Takes Video Racism to New Low]

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Hardass Asian Coaches

June 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“The Big Four”: The Boston Celtics’ Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Strength and Conditioning Coach Bryan Doo


RAY ALLEN: Man oh man. We finally get rings. Nothing tops this. Nothing.

KEVIN GARNETT: Didja hear you tied the NBA record for most 3′s in a Finals game tonight? Way to leave it all on the floor, muthafucka.

RAY ALLEN: Really? How about that.

BRYAN DOO: Great work, Ray. You did good. You’re going down in the record books. You’ll have to share that record, but…they’re putting your name down. Right next to the names of Kenny “The Jet” Smith and Scottie Pippen.

RAY ALLEN: So I’m in great company.

BRYAN DOO: You’re right in there with the best. “Tied” with ‘em, which means “just as good,” I guess. (beat) It would’ve been sweet to get that eighth 3 though, wouldn’t it? Ah, man, that would’ve been sweet.

KEVIN GARNETT: Let Ray have his moment, dude.

BRYAN DOO: You’re right. Let’s talk about you, KG. Let’s talk about you and your moment. How does it feel?

KEVIN GARNETT: I don’t have the words. It’s a dream come true.

BRYAN DOO: It was almost perfect, wasn’t it?

KEVIN GARNETT: Almost? Man, it was perfect.

BRYAN DOO: When you pictured this moment as a kid, did you picture doing it in a Celtic uniform? Did you think you’d be crushing a legendary franchise like the Los Angeles Lakers? Did you imagine getting up on that makeshift stage, with confetti falling all around you, accepting the Larry O’Brien trophy in one hand and the Finals MVP in the–

KEVIN GARNETT: We all know that the MVP trophy is going to Paul. And he deserves it. I’m happy for him.

BRYAN DOO: You’re happy for him? That’s cool. Really generous of you.

KEVIN GARNETT: I’ll pick up that MVP trophy next time.

BRYAN DOO: You sure will.

KEVIN GARNETT: Yep.

BRYAN DOO: I mean, if there’s a next time. You never know when you’re going to get back on the big stage. But I’m sure you’re right. Next time, for sure.

PAUL PIERCE: Bryan, what’s eatin’ you?

BRYAN DOO: Who me? Nothing! Why would you say that? I’m happy. I’m thrilled. Look, you’re crushing the Lakers by 39 points. What do I have to be unhappy about? I’m ecstatic! I’m over the moon!

PAUL PIERCE: Alright. Then chill. We’re all getting rings here, including you.

BRYAN DOO: And I’m going to wear mine with pride. I’ll wear it and I’ll always think back to this moment, when we were crushing the Lakers by 39 points, wrapped up together in this awesome man-hug.

KEVIN GARNETT: That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

BRYAN DOO: 39 points! That’s a record.

RAY ALLEN: It’s the biggest blow-out in Finals history, I guess.

BRYAN DOO: Er, not quite. It’s a record for the largest point-margin in a decisive Finals game, which is different from the largest point-margin in a Finals game, which was 42 points, set by the Chicago Bulls in 1998 when they blew out the Utah Jazz–

KEVIN GARNETT: Sweet Jesus, Bryan! Will you just spit it out for god’s sake? Say what you want to say and stop beating around the bush. My ears are bleeding, man! I just won an NBA championship! I’m going to Disney World! My mug’s going on a Wheaties box tomorrow! What kinda problem could you possibly have with that?

BRYAN DOO: No problem, KG! None! I just think, you know, we could all do better sometimes, that’s all. (beat) Hey, who’s up for a three-peat, “Big Three”?

KEVIN GARNETT: I’m depressed.

RAY ALLEN: I feel like a failure.

PAUL PIERCE: Life is meaningless.

Source: ABC

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