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Pretty Spitty

June 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Some dude on “China’s eBay,”, was apparently banned from selling his product: a tonic composed of saliva taken from pretty girls, after complaints from Taobao users caught the attention of the site’s higher-ups.

Listen, we don’t have any issues with pretty girls (um, my caveat list for the preceding statement is too long to include here), but c’mon, creepos, spit is fucking disgweesting. We don’t want a drop of it landing on our nose when somebody’s talking to us, a big wad of it on the ground when we walk through the park, or a gloopy mess of it in our entree because our dinner mate insulted our waitress. Fuck spit. Fuck it.

But that isn’t what bothers us so much. The thought of somebody ordering a bottle of that bodily ick, paying the shipping and handling, sending over the PayPal amount, anxiously waiting days by the mailbox for the package to arrive, and then opening that package OF SPIT… that makes us sad.

Like, really, really, really, really sad.

Thank bejeezus nobody bought one.

[via Lemondrop]

Thanks, Cecil!

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Pretty Sh*tty Curriculum

April 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

A Yakima, WA kindergarten teacher responded to her five-year old student’s pooping-in-the-room accident the easy way: by wrapping up the droppings in a towel, sealing them in a ziplock bag, and placing them in the kid’s backpack along with his soiled clothes. Oh, and she wrote a note:

Listen, from what’s been reported, it seems like the kid was having some potty-training issues that the parents were well aware of. It’s understandable that the teacher, after dealing with, y’know, shit on her classroom floor, was pretty fed up and felt a good ol’ dose of shame would be just the power punch to rectify the developmental issue.

But even I, product of Hardass Asian Parenting–and someone who, uh, secretly hopes my kids aren’t B students because then I’ll have to actually work hard to convince myself to love them–thinks that shame isn’t always the answer.

And this shit is, perhaps, just a bit too much.

[Komo News: Teacher Sends Boy, 5, Home With Bag of Poo]

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March 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

To the people who developed RapeLay–a dark, first person Japanese video game that simulates the stalking, groping, and raping of two women and a girl in a subway, park, and bedroom–we feel sorry for you. You are sick, sad, twisted, violent, pathetic, low, inhuman, ugly fucks.

And if we ever meet you, we will chop your fucking dicks off.

[via Something Awful: RapeLay play review]
[Slate: Should the US ban Japanese "rape simulator" game?]


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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Nutri-Pharmaceuticals

February 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Well, it’s settled. “¿Ud. a visto una china gorda?” (The gist: Have you ever seen a fat chinese chick?) is, without question, the most disgusting line every used to peddle diet tea to Spanish speakers [Ad via Advertising Age].

We’ve got a tip for Nutri-Pharmaceuticals, who are trying to make a buck off of this ad, with the contact number 1-877-CHINITO (little Chinese): DO BETTER.

And our answer to their question, which is:

Yes, we have. And she is always the hottest, baddest bitch in the room, just like every single one of our Chinese sistas. ¡Paz!


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