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Here’s the story on the lady pictured below, Mek Wok Kundor:
- She’s Malaysian.
- She’s 107 years old.
- She has been married 22 times (so far).
- She doesn’t kiss and tell–Kundor won’t talk about her former husbands (whom she has lost to both death and divorce) or her kids.
- She is currently estranged from her husband (#22), who is 37.
- She separated from the 37-year-old dude because he had to go into rehab.
- Worried that he may return from rehab sober and itchin’ for a younger chick, Kundor has her sights set on a man 57 years her junior–a potential husband #23.
- She plans to visit her hubby (Possible reconnection?) in rehab, which is in Kuala Lumpur. She just needs a ride.
- I couldn’t possibly make this up.
- Something tells me (maybe it’s the dozens of hubbies, love of younger dudes, and certainty that she’ll soon find a brand new lover) that Mek Wok Kundor is an incredible lay. You may not like to read that, and I may not like to write it, but neither of us can deny that it’s probably true.
- Add it all up, and this bitch is the sexiest, baddest bitch in the East! Don’t hate a player!!
A 107 year-old woman in China who has never married announced recently that she now wants to tie the knot, ideally with a fellow centenarian. Wang Guiying told the Chongqing Commercial Times that she was frightened of getting married when she was younger, because she always saw her uncles and other men go all Ike Turner on their wives. She lived on her own and worked as a farmer until she was 74 and too weak to work in the fields, at which point she went to live with a nephew. But that arrangement has become less and less ideal.
“My nephews and nieces are getting older and their children are already tied up with their own families and I am becoming more and more of a burden,” she said.
Hmm. Sounds less hopelessly romantic than totally guilt-trippy. We wouldn’t exactly call public shaming the best man-trap, and normally we’d say a marriage with such a Hardass Asian Biddy is doomed, but something tells us that union, if it ever happens, isn’t going to last, um, that long anyway.
(I KNOW. WE’RE EVIL.)
Since Yoko Ono was honored with a National Arts award last night for “Outstanding Contributions to the Arts,” I’m only going to say nice things about her (instead of focusing on, say, her goofy, netted top hat, a fashion trend inexplicably on the rise).
So here goes. YOKO ONO HAS A REALLY NICE RACK. If you just vomited your Cheerios, bear in mind as you mop up your computer and Listerine your mouth that those boobs are 75 years old. A little perspective: they were born the year Hitler became, well, Hitler. They came into the world during the Great Depression (perhaps now we should call it “The First Great Depression”), and they pre-date television, as in those are radio play-era tits, okay? They’re even older than John McCain, whose man-boobs I hope to never see. Sure, the left one appears to be pushing in on the right one a bit, trying to get a little more attention (the Yoko to the right one’s John), but other than that, they’re impressively smooth, unveiny, and aloft. I’m charmed, too, by the fact that a septuagenarian such as Yoko has the chutzpah to flaunt her knockers. There’s something very dirty old lady about that, like her boobs aren’t at all ready for the nursing home and, instead, they’re ready to party like it’s 1949.