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Adam Yamaguchi Eats A Dick
Normally, we’d say eating donkey dick should be reserved for your worst enemies, so when adorbs Adam Yamaguchi tucks into its gristly penile sinew, we don’t know what to think:
On second thought, we do know what to think.
Eating donkey dick should be reserved for your worst enemies.
[current TV: The Guy That Eats Anything: Vanguard's Adam Yamaguchi]
Thanks, rob!
Filed under: Adam Yamaguchi, Adam Yamaguchi Vanguard, Adventurous Eating, China, Current TV, Dick Eaters, Dick-gestibles, Dicks, Donkey Dick, Eat a Dick, Eating Dick, Eating Donkey Dick, Extreme Eating, Penises
Foulmouth Strikes Again
Angry Asian Man posted this fabulous instructional video, which is part of a series that aids grownup Korean speakers in pronouncing the more, er, important words of the English language: the bad ones!
Nothing warms my heart more than hearing a Hardass Asian Grownup drop an f-bomb or call someone “you fucking bitch”–or reach my father’s apex of frustration: “Oh, shit” (it only happens when he makes an anomolous mistake, like losing his keys).
And so my only hope is that more Koreans will immerse themselves into this line of study. And that such tutorials will soon be created for ma peeps the Vietnamese, Jen’s peeps the Chinese, and all of y’alls peeps as well!
I also see this tutorial as a bit of a backdoor guide to reading DISGRASIAN, properly prepping little old ladies using umbrellas as parasols and friends from our parents’ singing groups to join us in a dialogue about fucking burritos and declaring the world’s biggest asshole–and, if we’re lucky, helping us cut a few fuckers’ dicks off. That’s the fucking shit!
It’s a generasian bridge, so to speak. And a damn fine one at that.
[via Angry Asian Man]
[Anderson English for Korea]
Source
Thanks, Chris!
Filed under: Angry Asian Man, Assholes, Awesome Korean Behavior, Awesomeness, Chalkboard, Chopping Dicks Off, Cursing, Dicks, Foul Language, Fucking Bitches, Hardass Asian Parents, Hardass Asian Parents' Friends, Korean English Curse Word Tutorial, Korean Grownups, Koreans, Koreans Who Rules, Singing Groups, Study
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 10 People And/Or Things We Hope Get Dick Cancer
Y’all. Y’ALL. What was up with this week? Why was everyone being such a dick? Was mercury in some kind of dickish retrograde? Was there an excess of dickage in the air? Was there some kind of discount offered on dick pipes? Was it, like, International Be-A-Dick Week? Was there a big VIP dick party that we weren’t invited to (and why not, you dicks)? Seriously, what was with all this whatthedickery?
Don’t know what we mean? What kind of dickhole have you been hiding in? (And is there extra room there? We’re kinda all dicked-out at the moment.) Not to be a total dick and ruin your dick-free week, but if you don’t know what we’re talking about, you don’t know dick. So let’s stop dicking around and get down to business.
NAME: Adam Carolla
WHY HE’S A DICK: He fucked with Intern Jasmine’s homeland and #1 homey, Manny Pacquiao. And she, along with an army of pissed-off Pinoys, ain’t feelin’ that half-assed mea culpa he posted on Twitter.
OUR SOLUTION: Dick Cancer
NAME: The Shen Neng 1 Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 10 People And/Or Things We Hope Get Dick Cancer
Filed under: Adam Carolla Disses Manny Pacquiao, Akron OH Orientals, Anti-Abortion Crazies, Chinese Coal Ship Rams Great Barrier Reef, Cocks, Dick Cancer, Dickheads, Dicks, Disgrasians of the Weak, Father Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul, Ginny Barber, Joey Lo, M. Night Shyamalan, North Korea, Orientals, Patrick Kim McDermott, Pricks, Shadows In the Cloud Hackers, Shen Neng 1, The Last Airbender, The Vatican, Tiki Barber, We Are Not Mascots Motherfucker
BABEWATCH: The Calvin Klein X Underwear Campaign
You may remember that, about a month ago, we told you former footballer Hidetoshi Nakata was appearing in a new Calvin Klein underwear campaign. Then our pal Erica tweeted about one of the ad campaign’s videos–which also features Twilight’s Kellan Lutz, True Blood’s Mehcad Brooks, and tennis star Fernando Verdasco–and suffice it to say, we haven’t gotten a whole lot done ever since.
Feast your groins eyes:
YES, GODAMMIT, WE WANNA SEE YOUR BLEEPS!!!
Thanks, Erica!
Filed under: Calvin Klein, Calvin Klein Underwear, Calvin Klein X Underwear Campaign, Dicks, Fernando Verdasco, Hidetoshi Nakata, Hot Asian Men, Hot Pieces, Hotter Than Porn, Kellan Lutz, Mehcad Brooks, Nothing Cums Between Me and My Calvins
No Love For Ohno’s No-no?
Just wondering…
OhYay
Am I the only who thinks that a YouTube video called “Apolo Ohno Crotch Shot” should have far more than 7,601 views?
Just sayin’.
[YouTube: Apolo Ohno Crotch Shot]
[via ONTD]
Filed under: Apolo Anton Ohno, Apolo Ohno, Bathing Suit Areas, Crotch Shots, Dicks, Extreme Closeups, Numbers, Packages, Penises, Small Penis Jokes, Speed Skaters, Surprises, Weiners, YouTube, YouTube Gems
Hailey Glassman Talks Jon Gosselin’s Magic Weiner
Jon Gosselin’s ex, Hailey Glassman, is on the cover of Steppin’ Out–”NY & NJ’s #1 Entertainment Magazine,” apparently–and blabbing about how the father of eight’s magic weiner is “tiny, tiny, tiny.”
“Judge This Haters”? WHERE. TO. BEGIN.
And you know what’s not tiny? The yeast infection I’m getting looking at those cheap hooker panties.
If you’ll excuse me…
[via HuffPo]
[Steppin' Out magazine]
Filed under: Cocks, Dicks, Hailey Glassman, Hooker Bitches, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Dick, Kiss-And-Tell, Magic Weiners, Mixed People, That's What You Get For Going Out With Hookers, Tiny Penises, Yuck
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman
Dear Joe Lieberman,
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman
Filed under: Bad People, Dicks, Filibuster, Health Care, Health Care Bill, If Only It had Been Joe Francis' Arm, Joe Liberman, Joe Lieberman Is A Douchebag, Senator Joe Lieberman, This Is Bull Shit, Traitors, Watch It All Burn
Small Dick, Huge Balls [VIDEO]
YouTube sensation Tim Chantarangsu, aka TimothyDeLaGhetto2, may have a small dick, but, man, is he hung with some nards.
“For Asian dudes, this idea of the small penis joke is like our Kryptonite…that’s supposed to be the worst thing you could say to an Asian dude, it’s almost like this Asian penis joke is like the n-word equivalent for Asian dudes, cuz it’s like oh my god I can’t believe he just said that, I’mma get this Asian dude, I’m gonna either say he’s got a small dick or he eats dog or he eats dog with a small dick. By taking the power away from that, I’m doing kinda like black people did where they embraced the n-word as a word of love.”
For more of Tim’s videos, check out:
[TimothyDeLaGhetto2 YouTube Channel]
[TraPhik MySpace]
Filed under: Balls, Dicks, Funny Men, Nards, Not Overcompensating, Reappropriation, Small Penis Jokes, Stereotypes, The N-Word, Tim Chantarangsu, Timothy De La Ghetto, TraPhik
Hit Me, Baby… One More Time?
Global Health Magazine composed and posted this rather startling graph documenting international attitudes towards domestic violence today, based on 2001-2007 data collected by the UNICEF site, Child Info (which monitors the situation of women and children).
Are you seeing what we’re seeing? Stats saying that 81.2% of women in Laos and 63.8% in my homeland (Vietnam) think it’s acceptable for their men to hurt ‘em?
My kneejerk reaction—I want to throttle all of these ladies myself. Does shaking count? What about shaking while shouting, “IT IS NOT OKAY FOR ONE SINGLE FUCKER TO LAY A HAND ON YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME??? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!?!!?”
But my gut just says, wow. I’m pretty sure my grandmas (R.I.P.) were once those women. And who’d a thunk their kids–my mom and dad–would raise a daughter to spend her days swilling whiskey, getting angry, and threatening to chop dicks off (for the right reason, of course)? ‘Cuz they did.
Like I said, wow.
[Global Health: Screenshots]
[Child Info: Monitoring the Situation of Women and Children]
[via Buzzfeed]
Filed under: Badass Asian Parents, Dicks, Domestic Violence, Global Health, Husbands That Hit Wives, Shaking, Shocking Stats, Unicef, Wow
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! G. Gordon Liddy Thinks Bill Clinton Brought Back a Dead Giant Panda and a Dick from North Korea
Poor Gordon Liddy. The 78 year-old Watergate mastermind appears to be losing his mind. On Wednesday, while most of the country was busy heralding the safe return of American journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling from North Korea–FOX News and other right-wing fearmongers being notable exceptions–Liddy announced on his radio show that “Ling-Ling and Wee-Wee…have been brought back by Bill Clinton to the United States.”
Listen:
Now, Ling-Ling was one of the two giant pandas (pictured with her mate Hsing-Hsing) given to the U.S. by China following President Nixon’s historic visit there in 1972. You know, the same president that Liddy served under and served time for. It’s only natural to assume, then, that Liddy is suffering from moderate dementia–symptoms of which include “forgetting names and faces” and “remembering events from the past as though they are the present”–and that’s why he’s confusing Laura Ling with Ling-Ling, a giant panda who died in 1992.
And we all know what a Wee-Wee is. (Lady Gaga even has one, evidently!) But why Liddy would conflate Euna Lee with a dick is beyond us. Perhaps he’s been playing with his own wee-wee a bit too much lately?
Which would mean Liddy’s brain is not only degenerating, it’s moving rapidly from moderate to severe dementia, symptoms of which include…”uncontrollable movements.“
Like we said, poor Gordon Liddy.
[Media Matters for America: Liddy tells joke about "Ling Ling and Wee Wee" "being locked up for nine hours in an airplane with Bill Clinton"]
[via Salon]
Filed under: Bill Clinton, Conservatards, Dementia, Dicks, Euna Lee, Euna Lee Laura Ling Pardoned, FOX News is a Joke, G. Gordon Liddy, Giant Pandas, Laura Ling, Ling-Ling the Giant Panda, Watergate
Shame Ol’, Shame Ol’
Sometime shame is a shitpile: Like when you become suicidal after getting rejected from your top-choice school. Or when you stop seeing friends entirely because your suffering screenwriter budget won’t allow you to fine dine. Or when your cheerleading coach logs into your Facebook account and airs your dirty laundry with the students and staff, exposing you to years of ridicule. Or when your baby papa leaves you when you’re seven months pregnant for a younger, longer-necked actress. Or when your mother disowns you because you’ve dishonored the family by moving in with a boyfriend/marrying outside of your race/having a baby out of wedlock.
But man, sometimes shame is absolutely good and necessary. It’s the stuff that, properly applied, keeps people from gallivanting with party gals in the south of France while their eight toddlers sit at home. Or from jerking their man’s junk on a hotel balcony for the delight of the paparazzi. Or self-destructing entirely at clubs, parties and Robertson Boulevard as if doing performance art for the blogosphere.
Everyone once in awhile, though, shame is simply complicated.
Recently, a married man in Wisconson with a handful of girlfriends found himself at the center of an ugly coup, hosted by all of his disgruntled lovers.
From HuffPo:
WAUSAU, Wis. — A married man who planned to rendezvous with one of his handful of lovers at an eastern Wisconsin motel instead found himself bound, blindfolded and assaulted by a group of women out for revenge, according to court documents.Four women, including his wife, eventually showed up to humiliate the man, who ended up with his penis glued to his stomach in a bizarre plot to punish him for a lover’s quadrangle gone bad, according to the documents filed in Calumet County.
The women involved now face time in the clink for their shameful acts. But let’s talk about everyone involved, and who’s to shame here, for a second:
There’s the dude, who carelessly juggled the women in his life (including the one he exchanged holy vows with) as if they were oranges and not people, which is bullshit. And he ended up catching a beatdown for it, with his wiener glued his gut. Should be ashamed? Definitely. Was the attack on him unacceptable? Yes. But isn’t it kinda hilarious? Sorry, but kinda. I mean hell, it’s not like they cut the fucking thing off…
Then there’s the wife, the true cuckold of the story. No, it wasn’t a good idea for her to get involved in this sick scenario, but her husband was piling at least three other chicks, for crying out loud. It’s humiliating and scarring. She’s not excused, but she certainly had a leg to stand on. Also, I’ve got to give her mad props for getting in cahoots with the ladies to challenge the true adulterer, instead of lashing out at them (they, after all, never put a ring on her finger).
Lastly are the girlfriends, who found themselves subjugated to not only being “the other woman,” but “one of the other women.” What a demotion! The interesting thing about these ladies is the variety of their shame, which I feel might only really be present because they all got caught.
One certainly has her tail between her legs, if only to soften the blow of her reprimand:
“I am disturbed. I am upset. I am having a hard time handling life; an emotional wreck,” Wendy Sewell, 43, of Kaukauna, said in a telephone interview from her home. “I am ashamed.”
But sometimes photos tell a different story. Sewell’s counterpart, “an-other woman” Michelle Belliveau, seems to say it all in her mug shot:
“Yeah, I Krazy Glued his dick. And I’d do it again to the little fucker!!!”
Filed under: Cuckolds, Dicks, Disownment, Extramarital Affairs, Girl Power, Glued Penis, Mistresses, Mug Shots, No Remorse, People Who Have No Shame, Revenge, Shame For Everyone, Shame That's Funny
When Leaders Collide: Bill Clinton and Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Il and Bill Clinton meet in North Korea Tuesday to discuss the release of detained Journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling
(Screen grab from video of still photo)
KIM JONG IL: Oh, hey! Bill, good of you to come! What brings you to DPRK?
BILL CLINTON: With all due respect, sir, you know why I’m here. It’s time for you to return Euna and Laura.
KIM JONG IL: Oh yeah! Yeah! Sounds great. Are you hungry?
BILL CLINTON: Thank you, sir. I’m not–
KIM JONG IL: Let’s take a picture. Does anybody have a camera? [To staff member] Grab that video guy. Shoot a little bit of me with Billy boy.
BILL CLINTON: I don’t really know if this is the time or pl–
KIM JONG IL: [To camera] Yo, wazzup! Your boy Kim here with the former prez of the USA!
BILL CLINTON: I’m here on a humanitarian mission. We have a deal. You know this.
KIM JONG IL: Yeah, yeah, of course we have a deal! Listen, are you sure you’re not hungry? Let’s just get some dinner, we’ll talk, we’ll get to everything you need…
BILL CLINTON: O…kay.
KIM JONG IL: God, BILL! It’s great to see you. Seriously. Man, you should come by more often. We gotta hang.
BILL CLINTON: This is not a “hang,” I’m here to discuss Lee and Ling, who you sentenced to 12 years in hard labor prison.
KIM JONG IL: Oh, that was mostly just for leverage. I wanted somebody like you to come over here and have dinner with me.
BILL CLINTON: Well, I’m here, asshole.
KIM JONG IL: OMG, did you hear about the World’s Biggest Asshole thing?
BILL CLINTON: Excuse me?
KIM JONG IL: Never mind.
BILL CLINTON: Maybe we should sit down and get into discussions. I don’t have a lot of time.
KIM JONG IL: I know I know I know. Rush, rush, rush! Don’t you feel like we’re always in a hurry? I mean, what are we hurrying for? We’re all going to die someday.
BILL CLINTON: [Frustrated] Yes. Hopefully some of us sooner than others.
KIM JONG IL: Oh, Bubba, don’t be like that.
BILL CLINTON: Please stop addressing me that way. President Clinton, or Bill, please.
KIM JONG IL: Alright, Bill Please! [laughs hysterically]
BILL CLINTON: Pardon me for asking, but are you on something?
KIM JONG IL: A shit ton of Vicodin and this experimental drug that makes me seem like I’m alive! Aw man, I’m just glad to see you.
BILL CLINTON: I feel like you’re just hungry for attention.
KIM JONG IL: Nuh-UH.
BILL CLINTON: I’m not here for a pleasant visit. I don’t like your nukes, I don’t like your world tactics, and I’m furious that you’ve imprisoned American journalists.
KIM JONG IL: But they were producing a smear campaign against North Korea!
BILL CLINTON: Dude, HAVE YOU PICKED UP A PAPER LATELY? Your rep is established. There’s no more “smearing” left to do.
KIM JONG IL: I’ll nuke you.
BILL CLINTON: Oh, there you go again. Do you realize that this is all just a vicious cycle? You’re not making things any better for yourself.
KIM JONG IL: Why can’t people just see that I’m cool and awesome and the best?
BILL CLINTON: Because you’re a dick and your appearance frightens small children.
KIM JONG IL: I’m sorry. About everything. I just put up these walls…
BILL CLINTON: Yes. Literally.
KIM JONG IL: It’s like I’ve gone so far, I can’t turn back.
BILL CLINTON: Well, you’re going to have to.
KIM JONG IL: I can’t!
BILL CLINTON: Listen. One step at a time. Hand over the girls. Let me take them home.
[deep, sad pause]
KIM JONG IL: Okay.
[NYT: Bill Clinton Meets Kim Jong Il in North Korea]
Photo Source: AP
Thanks to Aviva, Abe, Cate and Mohammad!
Filed under: Assholes, Bill Clinton, Coming Home, Dicks, DPRK, Euna Lee, Journalists, Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Il Is a Dick, Laura Ling, Negotiasian, North Korea, Return of Euna and Laura
