DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The ‘Asianate Yourself’ Facebook App

So, there’s this Facebook app called “Asianate Yourself,” where you can make yourself Asian, which some people find offensive, especially since the app was created by a Hong Kong-based soy sauce company that should know better, but as people who came into this world already “Asianated,” can we just say that we totally get it?

I mean, if people wanna be us, I can’t blame them. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

That said, the Asianate app sucks balls. For one thing, there’s nothing “Urban Asian” about sumo. Actually I have to admit that I don’t even know what “Urban Asian” means. Is that, like, as opposed to “Jungle Asian,” like Diana (yes, I know this is a slur but Diana’s owning it so maybe you should too)? Or is “Urban” the roundabout way of saying “Morbidly Obese” when applied to Asians, the way it’s the roundabout way of saying “Black” when applied to African-Americans?

And that’s the other thing. Why would you Asianate yourself right into Body Dysmorphic Disorder? Asianated people can’t deal with that shit. None of our Asianated aunties–who’d be the first to tell us at our family reunions we’ve gotten fat–would approve.

What they would approve of, however, is Asianating yourself into…

Our boyfriend Daniel Dae Kim!

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The ‘Asianate Yourself’ Facebook App

Filed under: Advertising, Amoy Asianate Yourself Facebook App, Amoy Food Limited, Asianasian, Asianate Yourself Facebook App, Asianation, Bad Advertising, Bad Marketing Campaigns, Be Like Us, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Henney, Daniel Liu, DDK, Disgrasian Social Media, Disgrasian Technology, Facebook Apps, Hot Asian Men, Racial Drag, Sumo Wrestlers, Sumo Wrestling

Hawaii Five-Wetlook

The Hawaii Five-O reboot debuts in less than three weeks, and the billboards are EVERYWHERRRE. The first one caught my eye, though, mostly because it made no sense whatsoever:

How you gonna stick the hotties in the back and the uglies up front? (Upon further investigation, Alex O’Loughlin, who’s front and center, is pretty cute, but in that ad you can’t tell and, moreover, it looks like he just ate a bad burrito filled with rancid goat meat.)

At least our boyfriend Daniel Dae Kim is holding a nice, thick, um, shotgun.

The second show billboard, however, is like Baby Bear’s bed: just right.

Here’s hoping the show takes place entirely during Hawaii’s rainy season!

[photos via Alex O'Loughlin Rocks! and The Hollywood Reporter]

Filed under: All Wet, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Dae Kim is a God, DDK, Grace Park, Hawaii, Hawaii Five-O, Hawaii Five-O Remake, Wet Look, Wetlook, Wetlook Fetish

One More Reason DISGRASIAN Needs To Put A Hit On Lynn Chen

Scoundrel!

We’ve got a long history of knowing stalking Lynn Chen, an actress whose excessive beauty makes us want to rip our eyeballs out (Seriously, who in this world has got a cuter frown/smile? If such a person exists we need to take them down, too).

It looks like we shouldn’t only be threatened by her looks. She’s moving in on all fronts. Did y’all realize she blogs, too? Her blog with longtime friend and fellow actress Christy Meyers (also f’ing cute) is called The Actor’s Diet, and in it both ladies charmingly detail the way they eat (And no, they don’t write “just barf” in every post). Oh REALLY, Lynn? You think just ANYone can start a blog with their good friend that they eat/drink/gossip with all the time, just because, filling the blogoverse with sassy girlfriend chatter? HUH? Okay yeah, you can. Anybody can, really. So what?

NOW SHE’S MOVING IN OUR BOYFRIEND.

Continue reading One More Reason DISGRASIAN Needs To Put A Hit On Lynn Chen

Filed under: Audio Flirting, Beautiful Ladies, Boyfriends, Daniel Dae Kim, DDK, Everything Acting, Gorgeous Faces, Hot Chicks, Interviews, LA Correspondent, Lynn Chen, Lynn Chen Interviews Daniel Dae Kim, Lynn Chen Is Too Pretty, Moving In On Our Man, People On Our Hit List, People That Threaten Us, Podcasts, Stalking Lynn Chen, The Actor's Diet

Hawaii Five-O Hell Yeah!

We just learned that Grace Park will join the Embodiment of Sex (Daniel Dae Kim), in the cast of the forthcoming CBS redux of Hawaii Five-O.





Grace Park. DDK. Tropical climes. Bathing suits. Every week. In my living room.

Uh.

Excuse me, please. I think I just wet myself.

[THR: Grace Park Joins 'Hawaii Five-O']

Source

Filed under: Battlestar Galactica, Beautiful People, Boyfriends, CBS, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Dae Kim is a God, DDK, Extra Panties, Fantasy Couples, Grace Park, Hawaii Five-O, Holy Shit, Jen's Boyfriend, Porn, Unbelievably Gorgeous Casts

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Daniel Dae Kim

Name: Daniel Dae Kim aka DDK aka our Jen’s boyfriend

Occupation: Actor, Restaurant Owner

Hails from: Hawaii via Pennsylvania (via South Korea)

Known for: Making us quiver with love tingles. We like the way he votes, the way he eats, the way he drives (kidding), ooooooohlala obviously the way he looks–and of course, how brilliantly he acts. Praise be the person who finalized DDK’s deal as a principal in CBS’s Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Daniel Dae Kim

Filed under: Boyfriends, Carrie Ann Inaba Beautiful, CBS, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Dae Kim Lead Hawaii Five-O, DDK, Hawaii, Hawaii Five-O, Hot Bodies, Hotness, Lost