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Did too many of Tiger’s low-rent mistresses rise up to tell their tales? Did enough of his sponsors threaten to drop him? We’ll never know. But one of the world’s greatest atheletes has decided to step away from professional golf to focus, finally, on the shit circus that is his life:
I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.
I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.
Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.
Filed under: Affairs, Apologies, Dayum, Detroying Your Family, Disrespecting Your Wife, Fucking Around, Fuckups, Golf, Hiatus, Homewrecks, Indefinite Hiatus, Infidelity, Life As A Circus, Low-rentitude, Mistresses, Never the Same, Professional Athletes, Sadness, Tiger Woods, Whoopsieeee
From Paula Froelich:
Kim Kardashian became famous for her bodacious booty – but her man wants to trim some of the junk in her trunk. A source tells Page Six that Kardashian, who will wrestle Carmen Electra in the new flick “Disaster Movie,” has been working out extra hard these days at the request of her boyfriend, New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush. “He’s been pushing her to work out hard,” said our source. Sunday, Kardashian was overheard telling a friend at the opening of FUSE nightclub in Nashville that Bush made her run the dunes at Manhattan Beach in California.
Running dunes?? Downsizing her rump?? The last time I ran dunes was… never. And if my boyfriend told me to slim down my ass, he’d soon have a Loeffler Randall boot shoved up in his.
When did Reggie Bush become such a Hardass Asian Boyfriend?
…I LIKE it!
The New York Times reports:
“Witnesses say angry Tibetan crowds burned shops, cars, military vehicles and at least one tourist bus.
The chaotic scene was the latest, and most violent, confrontation in a series of protests that began on Monday and now represent a major challenge to the ruling Communist Party as it prepares to play host to the Olympic Games in August.”
Related to this story, reports also show that numerous ethnic Tibetans were overheard chanting, “See how we DO, Björk? Now this is fuckin’ protest.“*
*No Tibetans were actually overheard making the above-mentioned comments, but we sure as hell think one should have.