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@DirecTV: Your Dat Phan “Whale” Ad Blows

July 25th, 2011 | 14 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Cable Overlord,

I’ll be honest, I’m still kinda pissed at you for making me break up all those years ago with my Mac-like TiVo and forcing me into a marriage with your PC-like fake-TiVo-that-doesn’t-have-a-catchy-name. I miss those cute noises my TiVo used to make, even that weird bonk it issued when I pushed the wrong button or what have you. But you’ve given me the MLB, NFL, and NBA packages, and Friday Night Lights six months ahead of everyone else and now Damages, so, really, I’ve had little cause to complain since.

But this, DirecTV’s “The Whale” ad starring Dat Phan, winner of the first Last Comic Standing? This blows.

Here’s why:

  1. You’re clearly ripping off Ken Jeong’s Mr. Chow from The Hangover movies.
  2. While I love me some Ken Jeong almost any day of the week, Mr. Chow is basically awful and your rip-off is worse.
  3. An Asian accent isn’t a stand-in for funny.
  4. Wait, was this ad supposed to be funny? I’m assuming because you hired a comedian, the answer is yes. But I can’t tell. Seriously, I can’t tell.
  5. Let’s assume this ad was supposed to be funny. Jokes about an Asian person being small are played and unfunny. So I guess you weren’t trying to be funny? See that? Now I’m confused, which is never a good thing in advertising.

But, hey, listen. If you finally get that new and improved DirecTV TiVo DVR out this year that you’ve been teasing me with for the last three, I may find it in my heart to forgive.

Your begrudging cable serf,

Jen

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