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Hines Ward Wins Dancing With The Stars (Called It!)

May 25th, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAHHH!!!!!!!



The man loves a trophy, dude. My man Hines Ward and the ridiculous hard body that is Kym Johnson have officially taken the top prize of the 12th season of Dancing With the Stars!

Yes, I watched. And yes, I voted–each week. The maximum five votes every time. AND IT ALL PAID OFF!

…now who owes me $50?

[via CBS News]
[ABC: Dancing With The Stars - Official Site]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Seven Steps To Being A Perfect Gentlemasian Like Hines Ward

May 6th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Step 1: SMILE. Smile when you’re mad, smile when you’re sad, smile when you’re pissed, smile when you’ve been kissed.

Step 2: Always think of the children.

Step 3: Love yo’ mama.

Step 4: Attempt to balance out the shame of your friend or teammate’s shameful antics by doing cool stuff, like getting appointed by your cool president to be on a cool advisory commission.

Step 5: Be light on your feet and smooth in your hips.

Step 6: Win whenever possible.

and…

Step 7: If you and a friend are held up at gunpoint by NoHo police due to a mix-up regarding said friend’s Honda Civic, which was mistakenly reported stolen, cooperate like a stand-up citizen. Never devolve into a self-aggrandized asshole jerk that says, “Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am? You wanna how many Super Bowl rings I got, ya fuckin’ pig?? I’m gonna go all James Harrison on your ass!” AND after the Continue reading Seven Steps To Being A Perfect Gentlemasian Like Hines Ward

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12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

March 22nd, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Sure, Dancing With The Stars has lost a few viewers in its old age. Apparently, last night’s Season 12 premiere pulled a smaller audience than expected (by that, I mean 22.3 million viewers), 20% down from the last season.

But it actually gained one viewer: ME (Yes, I’ve tried once before, but couldn’t stick to my guns). Now, for the first time, I watched the first performances live on TV (which I couldn’t even do for the Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin trainwrecks)–and I think I’m in for the whole season. Why? Because there are SO MANY REASONS to watch this season. Twelve, in fact, right off the top of my head:

Reason #1: Turns out that my football boyfriend and Steelers #86 Hines Ward is light as a feather on his feet, as evidenced by his much-lauded performance with Kym Johnson. I knew it, I knew it, I knew that man could dance! And dear me, is he better to look at without all that football gear. Ward is as smooth a mover as he is fast a runner. He’s as smiley on the dance floor as he is on astroturf. And I know I’m not the first person to make the “Mmn!” sound while looking at his perfect Hines-dquarters, underdig?

Continue reading 12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

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Unlike Most Halfwits, Bristol Palin Is Apparently Not Her Mom’s Puppet

December 7th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

I don’t know a terrible lot about Bristol Palin, and hold high hopes that behind the scenes, she’s not much like her boorish, media-whoring mother. However, one increasingly obvious similarity between the two seems to be an inability to look the other way when it comes to negative feedback. Frankly, no Palin seems able to resist the urge to respond publicly to a negative review–and Facebook is the venue of choice for little sister, mom and self.

Margaret Cho’s recent comments about the elder Palin forcing Bristol to join the cast of DWTS provided such an opportunity, and naturally, Bristol jumped at the chance. This week, young Palin responded to Cho in a sweet-as-eskimo-pie open letter on (Surprise!) Facebook:

I will give my friend credit for creativity, and extra points for getting so many “facts” wrong in so few sentences. Let me be blunt: my mom did not “force” me to go on DWTS. She did not ask me either.  The show approached me.  I thought about it.  I made the decision.  After first worrying for me in terms of being exposed to those who hate us for what we believe in, both my mom and my dad became my number one supporters.  Anyone who watched the show could tell I performed better, and I felt better about myself, when they were in the audience. I wanted to make them both proud, but politics had nothing to do with it. Loving my parents had everything to do with it.

Well hell, good for Bristol for taking it upon herself to clear up those nasty rumors, defending her family’s honor (all you AZN peeps can undoubtedly identify with that), and remembering to use spell check while she was at it! Fine form! Maybe we aren’t giving this gal enough recognition for being a strong person and independent spirit, with her own words, opinions and talent.

Bristol also used her creative noggin to inject a bit of humor into her letter, closing it with what some commenters are calling a “questionable” lesbian quip:

You say you “don’t agree with the family’s politics at all” but I say, if you understood that commonsense conservative values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert.

HUNH. What an interesting reference for a 20-year-old to make in 2010, what with so many fun lesbians/lesbian dabblers swirling around the pop culture PR circuit to choose from right now! Were I in her position, I imagine I might have chosen to mention someone more… au courant. Y’know, like Ellen and Portia or Queen Latifah, maybe Samantha Ronson, Le Tigre, Tegan and Sara, la dee dah, the list really does kinda go on and on…

But no, I suppose the obvious lesbian joke for a free-thinking millennial like Bristol to make would be one about KD Lang and the Indigo Girls. They were both huge in the nineties and she was, um, born in the nineties, so that kinda makes sense I guess.

I mean, it’s not like Sarah Palin’s writing those jokes for her or anything.

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Thank you, Detective jRu!

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Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

December 3rd, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

Microagressions tracks and calls bullshit on those annoying acts and indignities of the ignorant that insult people of color. [microagressions.tumblr.com - thanks, Veronica!]

According to Margaret Cho, the only reason Bristol Palin competed on “Dancing With The Stars” was because her Hardass mother Sarah Palin forced her. Is it possible we actually feel kinda…sorry for Bristol? Ugh. [MargaretCho.com]

Yellow kid Fei “Phillip” Lam, a Queens high school student, is now known as the “White iPhone Kid.” He’s already made a mint breaking down the barrier between gadget nuts and the not-yet-available white iPhone 4 by selling simple DIY kits. [The Observer via Gothamist]

Sounds like relations between Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra and King James are a bit frosty. Frenemies! [The Huffington Post]

Some Hindu peeps would like to remind y’all that yoga isn’t just for Eat, Pray, Love-reading, lululemon-shopping Westerners, aight? [The New York Times]

Sheena Matheiken’s Uniform Project lives on in 2010, its message of sustainable design taken up by twelve of her fellow fashion-forward friends. She interviewed project participant Angie Johnson for The Huffington Post. [The Huffington Post]

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Palin’s Nailin’ It

November 24th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

Blame the Sarah Palin Media Blitz (2010 Edition), but the former governor of Alaska is a big ticket item in the news today. And not just because she’s peddling that new book or officially declaring a run for presidency (President Palin? That event would be so cataclysmic and shameful that just posting the words could implode the DISGRASIAN server). Thank goodness.

Instead, mills were a-buzzin’ when Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba dished with Access Hollywood about meeting Ms. Palin at the Dancing finale:

I did meet [Sarah] because, you know, my dad loves her,” Carrie Ann told Billy Bush and Kit Hoover, of Bristol’s mom. “So, I went and introduced myself. I was like, ‘My dad loves you, so, I have to say hello.’

“And you know what? She’s so charming!” Carrie Ann laughed. “I was like, ‘Girl crush!’”

The “crush” continued as Carrie Ann noticed a new glow emanating from “The Pistol’s” Mama Grizzly.

“She’s really nice. And I think she spray-tanned for the finale!” Carrie Ann exclaimed. “One of the crew guys came up and he goes, ‘Look at Sarah. Do you think she spray-tanned?’ And I looked at her and I’m like, ‘I think she did!’

This is important because truth be told, Jen and I have always wondered how Palin maintains her warm and ruddy glow living all the way in gloomy Alaska! Like, totally, Carrie Ann! GIRL CRUSH! La dee dah!

In other news, Sarah Palin was on the Glenn Beck radio show today and, until corrected by Beck’s co-host, sputtered on a bunch of her usual policy nothings while criticizing the current White House stance on North Korea. Continue reading Palin’s Nailin’ It

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Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian

October 7th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by jasmine




Congressional Gold Medal Awarded to Nisei WWII Veteran Badasses for WWII Badassery. [The White House Blog]

What’s more disturbing: Crazypants Senate hopeful (and Teabagger) Christine O’Donnell claiming in ’06 that she witnessed classified info about China’s plans to take over the U.S., or former RNC chairman Ed Gillespie sorta-kinda-maybe saying that she could be onto something? [The Atlantic, The Washington Post]

Margaret Cho got sent home on this week’s episode of “Dancing With The Stars” after samba-ing her heart out (and her ass off) with partner Louis Van Amstel. NOOOOOOOOO! [ABC]

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Team Erin Andrews

May 11th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

I never thought much of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. Pretty, nice rack, whatever. Okay, okay, let me amend that–pretty, very nice rack…whatever.

The point is, I still got to “whatever.” Because Erin Andrews represents everything that’s cliché and uninteresting about sports to me. She’s the archetypal Hot Girl–blonde, leggy, and, again, racktastic–for dudes with no imagination. She’s also the (pin-up) poster girl for the gender inequality that pervades professional sports and its employment opportunities within, whether it’s in front of the camera, on a coaching staff, or on an executive level. Women need not apply to this good ol’ boy network–unless they’re sexy and most closely resemble the cheerleaders. Men, meanwhile, who do the same work that Andrews does, can be as dweeby (ahem, Ken Rosenthal) or as sartorially-challenged (hi, Craig Sager) or as overweight as they want (what’s up, Goose?) with impunity.

But Erin Andrews’ recent beef with The View‘s Elisabeth Hasselbeck–another female-in-sports archetype, aka The Quarterback’s Wife–a beef that, for the record, Hasselbeck started, has not only done away with my ambivalence towards Andrews, it’s also got me rooting for her. You see, Andrews has been a stalking victim twice in the last year. The first time, some perv filmed a Andrews through a peephole while she was naked in her hotel room, and then put the video online. The second time, she received emailed death threats. But she’s been in the news most recently because she’s a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, one of the final five, in fact. A week ago, Hasselbeck criticized the outfits Andrews wore on the show–the women’s outfits are typically skimpy–saying the ESPN reporter was wearing “next to nothing” while not-so-subtly playing the ol’ blaming-the-victim game:

Continue reading Team Erin Andrews

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Kate Gosselin

April 1st, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to Kate Gosselin, who turned 35 (yes, only) on Sunday!

Single and, um, loving it...



Here’s hoping that this year she’ll be able to spend more quality off-camera time with her brood of Amazian munchkins.


Kate + 6

[Us: Kate Gosselin Spends 35th Birthday Away From Her Kids]

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

February 22nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana


Name:

Age: 27

Hails from: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.

Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

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Huh? Meredith Vieira Calls Kristi Yamaguchi A “Hoochie”

February 16th, 2010 | 17 comments | Posted by Jen


Dear Meredith Vieira,

Kristi Yamaguchi is a lot of things. An Olympic gold medalist. A mother. The season 6 winner of perhaps the most squeaky-clean show on television this side of Lawrence Welk, Dancing With the Stars. The daughter of a dentist. She is, at once, both a paragon of achievement and of normalcy, which makes her, like, super-Asian. That is why, to many of us, Kristi Yamaguchi is something of a national treasure.

She is not, however, by any stretch of the imagination, a “hoochie.” As interesting as it might be to think of Kristi having some secret life as a slutty hot mess, that skate just doesn’t fit. That’s like calling you, I dunno, a “hard-hitting reporter”?

Peace Out,
Jen

[via The Daily Beast]

Thanks, Jasmine and Maeko!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Carrie Ann Inaba

January 7th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to dance extraordinaire, Carrie Ann Inaba, who turned 42 this week and looks like this:





Oh man, she really makes us want to be 42. Or, well, HER.

[Carrie Ann Inaba - Blog]

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