DISGRASIAN™

BABEWATCH: Hunson Nguyen

Name: Hunson Nguyen

Hails from: Ptown

Occupation: Graphic designer, Tumblr theme creator, blogger, Portland State University student

Why He’s A Babe: Sure, he’s athletic–a former competitive swimmer. And he loves cute things. He’s a crunchy, friendly, proud Pacific Northwesterner. And he’s got the coolest last name this side of Wang.

This guy manages not one blog, not two blogs–and nope, not just three blogs. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just type “just three blogs?” I meant, “HOW THE HELL DOES THIS GUY GO TO SCHOOL AND SOCIAL NETWORK AND SPEND TIME OUTDOORS BEING ALL OREGONY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY RUN MULTIPLE TUMBLR BLOGS WHEN I ALMOST HAVE A WEEKLY MELTDOWN JUST TRYING TO KEEP ONE FRICKIN’ BLOG UP AND RUNNING, AND I HAVE A PARTNER!??”

I don’t know, but something about the new millennium has made “multitasking” one of man’s most attractive qualities. Hunson is quite the multitasker.

[Tumblr Staff: Hunson Nguyen]
[Hunson Is Groovy]

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Filed under: Bloggers, Cool Kids, Cute Things, Cutie Patooties, Diana has Vietnamese Pride, Happiness Is A Warm Hunson, Hunson Nguyen, Multitasking, Nguyens Rule, Oregon, Oregoniasians, PNW, Portland, PSU, Students, Swimmers, Tumblr

BABEWATCH: Kunal Nayyar

Last night, as I watched the Danica McKellar guest spot on The Big Bang Theory, I was reminded of one thing: Kunal Nayyar (who plays Rajesh on the show) is such a babe!!!

Hot nerd alert!

Hails from: Los Angeles

Occupation: Actor

Why He’s A Babe: Well…

(Sizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzle)

Filed under: Actors, Adorable, Cutie Patooties, Danica McKellar, Eyes That Melt, Geek Icons, Geek Love, Guest Spots, Hot Guys, Kunal Nayyar, Nerds, Sitcoms, The Big Bang Theory

Announcing… The WINNER Of The AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST!

UPSHOT TO HOSTING A PHOTO CONTEST FOR CUTE AMAZIAN BABY PICTURES: Your ploy to collect the world’s awesomest picture gallery of cutie patooties totally works, and you realize that (phew!) your readers not only have great taste in blogs/baby clothes, but also have pretty damn good genetics. You marvel at how much better you feel knowing that your audience is even more attractive than you thought. You totally (and selfishly) feel encouraged, convinced that your own future children will be adorable. You smile a lot. You sigh a LOT. You say “awwwwwwwwwwohmygoodnessbabiesbabiesbabies!!!” over and over and over again with giggles of glee.

DOWNSIDE TO HOSTING A PHOTO CONTEST FOR CUTE AMAZIAN BABY PICTURES: You realize that every photo you receive is the cutest photo you’ve ever seen. You realize that choosing between them is more difficult than picking an outfit for the first day of sixth grade. You spend many sleepless nights, tossing and turning, trying to decide which makes your heart skip more, Lily’s eyelashes or Kaiya’s Cheeks or Idris’s brows or Hero’s frown or Oscar’s bear ear hoodie. You decide to focus on photo composition and things like lighting/focus, but realize you don’t know jack about that stuff. You give up and lean on a psychic for help.

But through the ups and downs, we’ve enjoyed every single frickin’ minute of our very first AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST. SO LET’S GET TO THE GOOD PART!

The grand prize winner, who will receive a $50 Gift Certificate to Kumquat, is…

Sophia, 18 months

SOPHIA!!! Okay, there are her marshmallow cheeks, dark and soft curls,and the fact that she’s a “trouble maker”–all set against a sweet floral background. But what do we really love about this photo? Sophia’s BABY GROUCHFACE! The world’s a pretty tough place, and it’s hard to look adorable when there’s so much to be cranky about (Trust us; we, uh know), but she does it so well. OH, SO WELL.

Congratulasians to Sophia and her parents! We can’t wait to see you rocking your new Kumquat garb!

But wait, there’s more.

What y’all didn’t know is that our first runner-up will be receiving a $25 Gift Certificate to Kumquat as well! Woohoo!!!

And the first runner-up photo is:

Penelope, 3 years

PENELOPE. She’s going to hate us in 10 years when she’s a teenager that is awkward and gangly and growing in all the wrong places and grouchy about everything–particularly photos of herself in the baby bath–but we just can’t help it. We LOVE her shampoo-hawk, and the expression on her beautiful face! Now let’s dress this clean little one in some dandy duds!

Guys, we couldn’t be more serious–we struggled so much to choose between all of these too-cute photos, especially when each little face made our wombs do a cheer. They’re simply too good to keep to ourselves, so we’re sharing all of the submissions with you (click to play)! ENJOY!!!

And to all of those parents out there, we highly recommend outfitting your little ones in Kumquat all day, every day. All of your cute photos will be EVEN CUTER, as if that’s even possible!!!

[DISGRASIAN™: The AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST]
[Kumquat - Official Site]

Thank you thank you thank you, Angelyn and Jasmine! And thank you to all of those who submitted photos!!!

Filed under: Adorable-ness, Amazian Jr., Announcements, Bathtubs, Beautiful Babies, Contests, Cute Overload, Cutie Patooties, Everybody Loves a Winner, Fashion, Grouches

We’ve Been Looking So Long At These Pictures Of Babies That We Almost Believe That They’re Real [AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST]

Ladies and Gents,

Time is running out in the DISGRASIAN™/Kumquat AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST! The final deadline for submissions is TONIGHT: Friday, October 9 at 11:59pm PST!

To those with cute pictures on hand… don’t miss the boat (and by boat, we mean the grand prize of bragging rights and a $50 Gift Certificate to Kumquat!!!

Oooooh, baby baby!

We can hardly believe how many cutie patootie photos of little Amazian munchkins we’ve received over the last week. But hey, we’d be stupid not to ask for a few more.

SUBMIT, people, SUBMIT!

[DISGRASIAN™: AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST]

Filed under: Amazian Jr., Beautiful Babies, Contests, Cutie Patooties, Deadlines

One Thing Alone Will Drag Our Asses To See The Next Sex And The City Movie

After enduring the self-aware, unsatisfying, sexless, love-laden mess that was the first Sex and the City movie, you’d think we’d know better than to pull up a Cosmo and buy a ticket for round two.

But goddamn it, if they didn’t find the cutest damn little twin girls–Parker and Alexandra Fong–to play Charlotte’s little ‘un, Lily:

Those cutest-ever ballet flats? Seriously?

NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR TO PULL OUT SUCH A SECRET WEAPON. WHO CAN RESIST THAT LITTLE HAIRDO WITH THE TEENY BOW? THOSE LITTLE STICK LEGS? THE CUTIE-PATOOTIE FROCK??? THAT FACE??

Ugh. We’re definitely going to have to go see the movie now. But if we have to endure Miley Cyrus’s ugly mug, or hear “love” more than 6 times in one theater sitting without any cunnilingus to break it up, those fuckin’ kids are gonna owe us each 14 bucks.

[via EW.com]

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Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Alexandra Fong, Amazian Jr., Children, Cutie Patooties, Little People, Love is Boring, Secret Weapons, Sex and The City, Sex and the City Movie Sequel, Squishy Cheeks, Twins

Jordan Nagai, Please Be My Child

I know it’s wrong to covet, but Jordan Nagai (voice of the character Russell, from the Pixar feature, Up) is 2Q2B4G10. And I want him NOW! Gimmegimmegimme.

[via Trailer Addict]

Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Adorable-ness, Coveting Children, Cutie Patooties, Jordan Nagai, Little People, Pixar Film Up, Up the Movie

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

Happy Birthday to Dev Patel, who turned the shiny age of 19 today! We gulped a little when we realized that this shooting star was born in 1990–a time when we were still adjusting the shoulder pads on our brightly-colored, oversized blazers–seeing how in his scant years of life he’s already managed to earn a black belt in Taekwondo, act in a Brit telly series, star in an Oscar-winning film, and scoop up a suitcase of performance awards (from SAG to Critics’ Choice, not to mention noms for BAFTA and NAACP). Our inferiority complex is becoming more complex by the second, just writing this.

We can only hope that this precocious overachiever keeps on scoring! And in a bajillion years, when he turns 21, we’d love to take him out for a drink.

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Filed under: Awards, Birthdays, Cutie Patooties, Dev Patel, Oscar Winners, Overachievers, Slumdog Millionaire, Tae Kwon Do

Million Dollar-Smile

Cutest. Paparazzi. Photo. Ever!!! [via JustJared]:

Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel, just happy about traveling

I definitely think there are a few people that could take a cue from Patel’s fresh-faced, grateful pap-titude. And that means you, grouchypantses Lindsay Lohan Jessica Biel Sienna Miller Julia Roberts, Madonna Britney Keanu Reeves Ben Affleck Cameron Diaz et al….

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Filed under: Cutie Patooties, Dev Patel, Grouches, Pap-titude, Paparazzi, People That Have Forgotten to Be Thankful for Fame, Slumdog Millionaire, Traveling, Ways to Pass the Time in Airports

Color Me Easily Impressed

Yesterday, 12 year-old Kevin Shen went on Ellen and gave a recital of Guitar Hero III‘s “Through the Fire and Flames” on Expert. The kid was not perfect, but he was boss. Even guitarist Herman Li, who plays lead for DragonForce, the metal band who wrote the song, was reportedly only able to get through 2% of it on HARD. And, as a note of comparison, even WE [dusts off lapels] haven’t gotten through it on Expert.

Hardcore GH players over at Score Hero were quick to bag on Shen, saying things like “bullshitted his way through” and “I wish I could have been there to be like, ‘OK noob, it’s on.”

Then there were people who got ricial: “Apparently, people are easily impressed by little asian kids who are good at video games” and “He cheated, he’s Asian.”

It was later revealed that all of these comments were posted on the forum by Shen’s Hardass Asian Mother, who was in the studio audience for his performance and totally unimpressed. “This won’t get his scrawny ass into an Ivy League school,” she was overheard saying at the taping.

Thanks Greenie!

Filed under: Cutie Patooties, DragonForce, Guitar Hero III, Hardass Asian Parents, Herman Li, Kevin Shen, Pick On Someone Your Own Size Cheesedicks, Prodigies, Ricism, This is Why DISGRASIAN Doesn't Allow Comments

Upgradasian

Ohh boy! Looky loo at my lil’ Vietnamese soul bro Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt! His slacker haircut, that sly smirk, the bitchin’ blazer… he’s undergone a full makeover from the shy days of the past and homeboy looks GOOD.

Oh, Pax, baby, I like your style– screw the competition for cutiest of patootiest in that family (the bar is high), you’re forging the new title of MOST BITCHIN’. And we love it.

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Filed under: Amazian Jr., Coming Out of Your Shell, Cutie Patooties, Diana has Vietnamese Pride, I Want to be Adopted by Brad and Angelina, Most Bitchin', Pax Thien, Public Image Makeovers, Slacker Haircuts

Cute, Cuddly, and Furrowy

Careful with all that frowning, little Mad, or you’re gonna need some Anti-Asian cream a lot sooner than you think!

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Filed under: Cutie Patooties, Furrowed Brows, If You Aren't Gonna Eat That Dog We Can Take It Off Your Hands, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, You Look Like a Frustrated LA Weekly Writer (Minus the Hipster Eyeglasses)

"Not My Mom" Pants

I continue to hold my breath for the day when Suri “cutest damn baby in the world” Cruise wakes up and realizes that she is part-Asian and actually one of us after all…

…I mean, look how fa-reaked out she is by Katie Holmes’ awful Mom pants! How very Asian of her! My own mother looked at those pants and puked.

Suri, we have a bunch of toys and treats and tiny frocks waiting for you at DISGRASIAN HQ. Come whenever you’re ready.

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Filed under: Asians Love Burberry, Cutie Patooties, Don't Deny It, Eurasian-Looking Babies, Join Us, Suri Cruise