You are currently browsing posts tagged with Crotch Shots

No Love For Ohno’s No-no?

March 2nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Just wondering…

OhYay

Am I the only who thinks that a YouTube video called “Apolo Ohno Crotch Shot” should have far more than 7,601 views?

Just sayin’.

[YouTube: Apolo Ohno Crotch Shot]
[via ONTD]

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This Should Give "Crotch Shot" New Meaning

January 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’ll often go on and on and on about how hateful and insulting I find the production structure of most network reality television–I choke at the incessant repetitiveness, misleading commercial bumpers, clunky, cobbled editorial choices, harsh lighting, dull casting, melodramatic music cues.

Now cable reality television, that’s a whole other story. Cable reality is either super-smart and sophisticated (like Project Runway and This American Life) or just a wonderful, cacophonous shitpile. Regarding the latter–with a lower bar for humanity and a higher bar for smut–truly awful, shitty cable reality is fucking TV GOLD.

And it is my love for TV GOLD that explains my longstanding, obsessive commitment to VH1′s Rock of Love. This is not a passive or fleeting love affair, mind you, but a full-blown, soul mate-style relationship. My eyes twinkle when peering at the house for the girls, replete with the stripper pole and the seemingly unending well of booze. I adore Poison alum Bret Michaels, whose earnestness, on-screen patience, sincerity, and french kisses are, by my behind-the-scenes confirmation, truly legit.

And the girls are simply irreplacable. They’ve got psychotic laughs, or tore-up faces, or museum-worthy circus tits, or baggage for eons–the tranniest train wrecks ever to grace the telvision screen in black leather and leopard print. Name a cast member, I’ll remember the first time she puked and her best-ever interview soundbite, just before providing the theory on why she didn’t deserve to stay and rock Bret’s world. I loathe girls like Lacey and Megan as if they had punched my firstborn child in the squishy baby face, even praying to the Fuck God that neither win the $100,000 Charm School prize in lieu of my favorite gal, Brandi M.

Bus-ted!

So it is with a specific level of expertise that I watched this week’s premiere of the third installment of R.O.L., which takes place on two (pink and blue) tour buses that chase Michaels’ rock tour across the country. My expectations were high, even though I’ve seen every insane R.O.L. episode thus far, including Charm School and all of the corresponding reunion shows– and I kinda believed that after seeing an asthma-stricken, tear-stained, post-vomit Heather chuck a ceramic plate at Lacey-in-a-grandma-sweater-and-ugly-suit’s head, I’d never be surprised again.

But after realizing that Nikki, aka DJ Lady Tribe (left), aka first-ever R.O.L. DISGRASIAN contender, received a buttery nipple shot out of Gia’s (right) frothing vagina… it occurred to me:

THE PRODUCERS HAD OUTDONE THEMSELVES.

I was actually shocked. And I couldn’t wait for more.

And then (SPOILER ALERT!), boom, Nikki and Gia were eliminated, before I could even see what trouble they could come up with next.

Goddamn asshole cable reality TV producers.

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Munny Shot

August 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


In a Q&A last week with TV Guide, Olivia Munn talks about being named in Maxim‘s Hot 100 list this year, ranked 99, just in front of Tila Tequila.

Munn says:

“I’m just thankful that it wasn’t the Hot 98 list, because I would not have made it. And I’m glad Tila Tequila wasn’t 99 and I was 100. It is not fair to live in a world where Tila Tequila is considered better than me.”

Dayum, not only is she right in saying so, but boy, what spice she says it with! Olivia is even more saucy than we thought! And if she’s taking public potshots and digs at our least favorite midget, that means we don’t have to. Which means our work is done for us, and we have more time to watch the Olympics and play Rock Band and drink wine and swim laps and browse the Marni fall line. Bottom line: WE LOVE THIS BITCH.

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Gymnast and Gay Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

August 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A lot of you who are new to DISGRASIAN have been clicking over for Olympics “coverage” (I use that term oh-so-loosely), and mostly to find out who on the U.S. men’s gymnastics team is gay. Now, Diana and I pride ourselves on having excellent gaydar–we’re Asian chicks, after all, and most of our BFF’s are gay–but we ain’t the Gay Census Bureau. Nevertheless, we want you horny newbies to feel at home, so I give you this photo (from the real Gay Census Bureau, Towleroad):


Feel better?

Then there are those of you who have come to our site looking for nipples. And, you know, we do write about nipples a fair amount. Crotches, too. Shit, why do you think my parents spent all that dough sending me to an Ivy League school?? But for those of you who’ve come here to ogle, say, the nipples of a 16 year-old Olympic athlete, i.e. a child, we give you this:

FUCK OFF, PERV.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Now This Is What We Call a Crotch Shot

June 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Fuck that.

THIS is what we call a crotch shot:


(Spain eventually beat in Germany’s balls 1-0 in the European Championship final. ¡Viva La Nutcracking!)

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The Most Fans of Sharapova’s Crotch Can Hope for Now Is Some Rockin’ Camel Toe

June 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Maria Sharapova announced this week that, instead of wearing a tennis dress at Wimbledon, she would be debuting a Nike-designed “tuxedo” that consists of a jacket, pants, some weird dickey top that reminds me of something I used to wear in the high school marching band, and SHORTS.


Upon hearing the tragic sartorial news, fans of Maria Sharapova’s Crotch wept.

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