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Dispiriting news for DISGRASIAN and women’s tennis fans the world over: Maria Sharapova’s crotch was eliminated today from the French Open–the only Grand Slam it hasn’t won–by fellow Russian Dinara Safina (Hot Marat Safin’s little sis). Maria Sharapova’s crotch had match point in the second set, but then things got a little, uh, slippery, and Safina rallied to win it. Late in the third, as the match started to swing in its opponent’s favor, Maria Sharapova’s crotch reportedly started making a lot of noise and, according to the AP, that “seemed to annoy fans. They whistled and booed Sharapova as she left Court Suzanne Lenglen after the match.”
Boo Maria Sharapova’s crotch? Mon dieu!
(No idea why we’re fixated on Maria Sharapova’s crotch? Click here.)
The quarterfinals at the Australasian Open were not kind to the Williams sisters this year. First Serena was knocked out of the singles competition by Serbian Jelena Jankovic in straight sets, then Serena and Venus lost in doubles to Chinese duo Yan Zi and Zheng Jie, and, finally, Venus, who’s never won this Slam, was defeated in her singles match by another Serb, Ana Ivanovic, also in straight sets. All three losses occurred in the span of 24 hours. Rough day!
Speaking of China, there’s talk of moving the Australian Open, which advertises itself as “The Grand Slam of Asia/Pacific,” to Asia. China, specifically.
Even though the tournament has been held in Melbourne since 1905, I have a feeling I know who’ll win this fight. Perhaps the Aussies should adopt a new mascot…(drumroll)…the Down Underdogs! Okay, that was terrible.
On the subject of top dogs, can anyone beat Roger “The Federator” Federer on this hardcourt?
And, finally, we’ve noticed a big bump in DISGRASIAN’s traffic since the start of the Australasian Open. Are readers clicking over here for our unique slant on pop culture, sports, and celebutardity? Or our look at the presidential race through yellow-tinted glasses? Or our bitchy knee-jerk reactions to everything from protests of Japanese whaling to human rights in China?
So, once again, we’re putting out for you. Why? Cuz underneath our rough, pissed-off exteriors…
Happy tennis, pervs!
Toyo Shigeta, the head of the Japanese ad agency responsible for Maria Sharapova’s sizzling Canon Powershot ad in 2005, is now the target of a federal lawsuit–he apparently snapped upskirt photos of the tennis vixen to satisfy his icky fetish for crotch snapshots.
Jeez. You’d think with all the options…
…he wouldn’t have to waste any time taking any of those pervy-ass photos himself.
Instead, he chose to violate the princess of Tennis (which our friend at Racqonteur will not be happy about), and we hope he ends up with a racquet up his anus.
Wanna see the photo? Click here, pervs!
UPDATE: Click here to see why there will be no Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.