DISGRASIAN™

Project Runway Season 5: Dressed to Kill

The fifth season of Project Runway began rather inauspiciously last night for Jerry Tam, designer of the line FORM and the first person to get kicked off the show.

Although Jerry, a native of Butte, Montana, cites avant-garde designers Martin Margiela and Rick Owens as his influences, the look he sent down the runway was more like…avant-weird.

The challenge was to make something out of stuff bought at the grocery store Gristede’s, and most of the contestants pussed out by making dresses out of tablecloths. Jerry chose to make a raincoat out of a shower curtain, which everyone agreed turned out très serial killer. (Styling the coat with yellow dishwashing gloves did not help.)

Perhaps Jerr-Jerr has a future in costume design for horror movies? That weird raincoat looked like something out of the killer’s closet in Brian De Palma’s Dressed to Kill, a slasher flick about creepy shrinks, sweet-faced hookers, and transsexual stalkers, sprinkled with some hot sex from a very MILF-y Angie Dickinson. The movie came out in 1980, and it is so of that time. It’s about loose women who need to be punished. By a man…dressed as a woman. It’s about the decadent, chaotic 70′s getting reorganized into the much more cold and calculating 80′s. It’s about Michael Caine, cross-dressing in a blonde wig and an unforgettable raincoat:

Eek! Eeeeek! Eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

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Filed under: Avant-Gardists, Avant-Weird, Brian De Palma, Creepfest, Cross-Dressers, Dressed to Kill, Heidi Klum, Horror Movies, Jerry Tam, MILFs, Project Runway, Slasher Flicks, Trannies

Being Michelle Malkinbitch

This week, DISGRASIAN’s favorite cuntdit Michelle Malkin posted “Meet the GOP Immigration Drag Queens” on her site and took Huckabee, Giuliani, and McCain to task for changing their stances on illegal immigration, the bee in Malkinbitch’s bonnet. She called Huckabee “a shameless border control cross-dresser” and wrote:

Bad enough that the Democrat candidates are still stuck in a 9/10 mentality on the nexus between immigration and national security. The question for conservatives is: Would a Republican immigration drag queen be any better — or worse?

Oh Malkinbitch. People ask us all the time why we don’t write about you more, and we’re happy to tell ya: 1) because you are the right-wing House Oriental, and when we read your blather, er, blog, all we see is a chick tryin’ to make a fast nickel instead of someone with real conviction, and 2) we really can’t stand looking at those terrifying teeth of yours; they give us nightmares.

But don’t go bringin’ cross-dressers and drag queens into the debate like they’re a bad thing. First off, we’re pretty sure that any drag queen worth her Adam’s Apple could kick your scrawny ass without lifting a french tip. Also, drag queens are awesome and most of them a lot hotter than you. Here are examples of some smokin’ he-bitches, for future reference:

Why drag queens, Michelle? Is this just semantic gymnastics or is there something more to the issue? Then we started rootin’ around for photos of you, and we got our answer.

We dare say that you’re looking positively beDRAGgled yourself, Malkinbitch.

Experiencing some self-loathing, perhaps?

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Filed under: Being Michelle Malkinbitch, Cross-Dressers, Dental Disgrasians, Drag Queens, He-Bitches, House Orientals, Illegal Immigrasian, Self-Loathing

All I Really Need to Do Is Find…A …Brand …New …Gender

I’m so pleased to find out that Kimora has found love again!!!

Oh wait. That’s not Kimora!!! That’s Dead or Alive’s Pete Burns (the blushing bride), tying the knot with the Michael Simpson (the man he cheated on his wife of 25 years with).

Hot!

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Filed under: Blushing Brides, Cross-Dressers, Hating on Kimora is Our Pastime, Pete Burns, Pretty Dresses, Quel Scandal, Racial Drag, Weddings

Another Lame Movie Adaptasian

Actor Emile Hirsch is “in talks,” according to Reuters, to star in a live-action, adaptation of SPEED RACER, which will be directed by the Wachowski brothers.

I never really was a fan. I didn’t get it. This guy solved crimes or something with a race car–HUH? Also, wasn’t this a Japanese series, so why did the lead character have big blue eyes?

In hindsight, I have come to believe that…Speed Racer’s gay. His eyelashes are so darn pretty and long, they suggest secret (and frequent) mascara usage. And he and the Crime-Solving Car are always so clean and shiny, a clear sign of excessive grooming. Plus, what’s up with the jaunty red kerchief? GAY GAY GAY, or, at the very least…Clean-Freak Cross-Dresser.

Oh wait, maybe this is why the Wachowski brothers want to do this movie. Well, one of them, anyway.

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Filed under: Anime, Cross-Dressers, Lame Cartoons, Manga, Speed Racer, the Wachowski brothers