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Having spent years working in TV, I know one universal truth about projects “in development”–there’s a 99% chance that they’ll never see the light of day.
Still, when Hollywood Rag reports that Bai Ling is set to star in Hydrophobia, a famous director’s horror flick (Currently, ah, still in development), as a “sexy femme fatale who lures both men and women into the pool, appearing as a sexy vixen at first who then morphs into an Alien-like creature with razor-sharp piranha teeth capable of opening her mouth as wide as a python to bite a man’s head off,” I get interested quick. Damn quick.
Sure, it sounds inconceivable. Maybe a little stupid. Maybe a little fake. But perhaps Hydrophobia simply seems like a film that won’t ever happen because it’s too good to be true.
Frankly, I’d like to see this film next year, and I believe the rest of you do as well. We are talking about Bai Ling as an Alien-like creature with razor-sharp piranha teeth, for chrissake, and that’s good shit that shouldn’t live in theory. The concept is so crazy that it could work. And Bai Ling is so crazy that she can do that work. Which leads me to one incredible conclusion:
Um, okay, so I’m not exactly sure how this discovery factors into the unemployment crisis, but I feel like I should send this scientific research to a czar somewhere.
It’s always kind of amazing when a six-year old can do something extraordinary (besides touch their head while rubbing their tummy, draw stick people with actual hands instead of circles with lines popping out, or conquer every level of the Nintendo DS Lego Indiana Jones game during one single drive upstate). We love ourselves some prodigies.
So when reader Carlo tipped us off to Miko Andres, a 6-year old wunderkind from the Philippines that has already earned the honor of world’s youngest sharp shooter, we were intrigued.
First of all, guns scare me shitless, and always have. So do children (in a different way), because they’re cute, yet wiggly and so easy to drop and/or lose. The combination of the two–a gun and a kid–even in theory, was almost more than I could bear.
But here’s little Miko showcasing his talents:
Pretty bonkers, right? It’s definitely amazing, but I can’t stop freaking out throughout the entire video, thinking: What if he has some uncontrollable child fit in the middle of a trigger-pull? What if he drops that thing on the floor and shots some wild bullets into the sky? What if he gets angry at his parents when he turns thirteen and starts saying things like, ‘Mom, if you don’t make me dinner right now I swear to God I’m gonna bust a cap on your ass. And you know I can, so chop chop!’
That would be weird.
And okay, maybe not that likely.
And listen, if the parents are okay with it, I guess I should be cool, too.
From an interview with Telegraph:
“Safety is of the utmost importance,” [Miko's father] says, adding his son was having guidance and help from a range of shooting institutions to try and prevent accidents… “As a parent, I too am worried about the dangers of the sport. Accidents and injuries might happen in the course of the sport and that is always a concern.
Safety first! It’s always good to know that young sharp shooters’ parents have their priorities in order.
He added: “Here he is, the youngest practical shooter the world has ever known… Miko is very young but is determined to excel in the practical shooting sport.”
And as my parents always say: if you’re the best, first, or youngest person to do something, it really doesn’t matter how fucking safe you are! Keep up the good work!