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Bai Ling, who appears in Crank: High Voltage (a movie, an actual movie, in theaters), which opens today, recently told Movieline:
“I deserve so much more than the roles I get offered now. I’m one of the best actresses. One day I will win an Oscar. I’m already winning it. I just have to find the platform to show it. I’m already winning it! I’ve got that talent.“
So who do you think is more cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs? Bai Ling or the Hipster Grifter?
“When you’ve done something(s) really, really, really, really, really, wrong, just convince yourself that you haven’t–and, in fact, that you’ve done great things, instead.
Most importantly: Never, ever say fucking never.”
[Image via NYU Local]
Someone had the stroke of genius to ask Bai Ling who she might be voting for in the Presidential election (BTW, is she an actual citizen, and can she vote? Please, God, say “no”), and she–in a roundabout manner that would make any 501c3, non-partisan, non-profit, get-out-the-vote-campaign director proud–endorsed no one. Okay, to be more accurate, Ms. Ling rattled off, “I think, somebody, uh, this two candidates, I don’t really know them that well”–which seemed like better than nothing, since I always expect her to simply say, “Eep! Opp! Ork! Midriff! What does it mean, ‘dick?’”
Instead, like all of our favorite legislators, she started talking about values:
Let’s face it. Nobody writes letters any more. And that’s just sad. We’d like to bring letter-writing back, so we present our DOTW this week in epistolary fashion:
You like writing letters? Us, too! Let’s be friends.
pen pals 4eva,
your partners in haterasian,
You held a grudge for 20 years? Dayum, man. That’s more hardcore than Jen’s dad, who will disown you if you have, like, bad taste in movies. We’re not sayin’ that that’s healthy or anything. But it is pretty darn Asian.
good luck with that,
Hold up. You hate black people? And you wrote over 200 hate letters and emails to black men because a black guy “stole” your girlfriend 20 years ago? Duuude. You got problems. We are sooo not down with you. Neither is the U.S. justice system, which just sentenced you to three years in the clink.
P.S. Forget about us writing to you in prison or, like, ever again. Because, like Jen’s dad, we hold a pretty mean grudge ourselves. And once, as Heidi Klum would say, you’re out, your ass is out, naw mean?