You are currently browsing posts tagged with Crazy Faces

Caption This: Hillary Clinton’s Crazy-Faced Namaste

November 25th, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

HRC busting with the anjali mudra before the arrival of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh at the White House, November 24, 2009:

US India Obama Singh

USA-INDIA/

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Thanks, Bobby Trendy!

November 23rd, 2009 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Hi Bobby!

Great AMAs aesthetic.

We have been dying for you to cover your shit up for years. And now, look! You look fabulous!!! And FIERCE! Never better.

Lady BoBo

Lady BoBo




Keep up the good work! Don’t stop it if it’s workin’.

xoxo,
DISGRASIAN

[via DListed]

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Asian Gracefully, Sorta

November 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Apropos of nothing, Jennifer Tilly (née Jennifer Chan) is 50. I saw her on a sexiest women over 50 list recently (#3!) and learned this little fact (she turned quinquagenarian in September). So when I look at these photos taken of her at some event this week…


I have to give it up to this ageless lady–crazy face, tranny weave, and asymmetrical boobage notwithstanding.

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Crowning Around

July 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The reigning Miss Washington, Elyse Umemoto, has been getting a lot of flack over a couple of racy candid photos that leaked on the Internets this week. TMZ called her “a bad apple,” the Miss Washington Scholarship Organization said they were “embarassed by the pictures,” and the pageant queen (whose term ends this Saturday) issued a public apology today.

Quite the brouhaha. Them’s must be some dangerous pictures! So what’s all the fuss about, really?

We took a look at the snapshots and have delivered an assessment on Umemoto’s real crimes below.

Umemoto and friend flipping off camera

CRIMES: Ungraceful bend of index finger, wearing stupid pageant crown in public.

Umemoto and friend suggestively licking a bottle of Malibu rum

CRIMES: Drinking pussy-ass Malibu rum like a bunch of fucking novices. Get a bottle of Macallan 12, for the love of GOD!

Umemoto and friend making obscene finger gestures

CRIMES: Purple eyeshadow and lurex top, fraternizing with actual frat boys. Also: if you’re gonna front that you like cooch-licking, don’t waste time with the peace sign. Use a cooch.

Shirtless Umemoto with friend, in the mirror

CRIMES: Vanity, ugly bra, ugly friend.

Umemoto suggestively close to friend

CRIME: Frightening proximity to blue eyeshadow.

Umemoto with friend and curling iron

CRIMES: wielding a deadly weapon, unauthorized use of the stupid pageant crown, harboring scary friends, crazy face.

Oh goodness.

Ooof. Now that we’ve assessed the extent of the damages, we actually do think she might owe us all another apology.

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER: Yokoooooooooooooooooooooo

December 11th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There’s something strangely comforting about seeing a 74 year-old woman still lettin’ it all hang out and practicing Primal Scream Therapy, but then again, when that woman is Yoko Ono, pictured here at the Tokyo premiere of “The U.S. Versus John Lennon,” it’s also kinda fuckin’ scary:

“Snowfling, snowfall, snowfall, listen, listen, listen!!!”

Insanity Barometer, goin’ up!

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER: Ass Fascinasian

November 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Whose nasty ass is this? A tranny hooker on Santa Monica and Vine? Paris Hilton headed to the gym? Dennis Rodman on his way to a baby shower? Amy Fisher on a bad day?


Oh god, it’s Naomi. GIRL! SUPERMODELS ARE SUPER. SUPERMODELS DON’T DO THIS. THEY DON’T, THEY DON’T, THEY DON’T. YOU NEED TO STOP. STOP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. OH GOD, IT’S ALREADY TOO LATE.

Insanity Barometer, going high against the sky, so high it almost touches the sky!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Dalai Lama Foundation

November 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We get it: The Dalai Lama is hip. The Dalai Lama is cool. The Dalai Lama is Hollywood.

Don’t get us wrong– We love His Holiness so very much. Hell, we’ve busted China’s chops in his defense.

Our ears perked up when we found out that this week, we could actually buy the official car of the 14th Dalai Lama on eBay, for the minimum bid of $75k. How bitchin’ would that be?!? We imagine that somehow its peaceful vibes could remedy one’s road rage, and probably make that person’s skin look great (this is not confirmed).


So we started digging into our annual Chanel clothing fund and got ready to make a bid. Why not? We’re writers; We could totally benefit from some fresh air and off-roading in a holy vehicle.

And then we looked more closely at The Dalai Lama Foundation’s latest auction: the *bonus* to your buy? A meet-and-greet with this botox-faced wacko:

Er, we’d rather have a date with her facialist. Jen and I have no space in our lives to visit with the woman who pioneered the modern age for an upskirt epidemic, in honor of peace.

Guess we’ll have to stick to raging in the Volvo. Oh well. We enjoy it.

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER: A Bai Week

November 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

On days like this…

…when Bai is making a relatively normal face, has her 45-year old body looking bangin’, lets her hair stay neatly placed, and only allows an astronomically hideous dress ruin the frame–should I be grateful?

I mean, yeah.

Insanity Barometer… plateaued!

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER: Chyna, We Have A Problem

November 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


“Hey world! Chyna’s back… back again… got some work done… tell a friend! Hello. HELLO!? HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO. I’ve got lucite platforms and a tight pair of legs and my face almost looks like a woman’s! Don’t you recognize me? I’m the 9th wonder of the world! I’m a world wrestling champion! I AM CHYNA HEAR ME ROAR!!!”

Insanity barometer… goin’ up!

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER

August 21st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“So you’re saying that to succeed in Hollywood I need to speak in full sentences, dress appropriately, and sing in key? Is this some kind of joke?*”

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*Of COURSE it’s a joke. This is Hollywood, Butterface. If you want us to notice you, show us your cooch! Say something like “I’m a little bad, hee hee!” and “Fame is hard” “I don’t really try to be a sex symbol” and “There’s pressure to be thin” and “I love the Ivy because of the food, y’know?”

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You’re Asian Fast

August 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

GODDAMN YOU Access Hollywood!! You damn near killed me with this headline:

But now that I think about it…



…I kind of see how it could work.

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I am Happy, Oh so Happy

July 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Perhaps in an effort to compete with her nemesis replacement ex-husband’s girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo’s crazy face:

Jessica Simpson did her best to rock the crazy with an assortment of retahded nerdbombalicious scary spastic happy poses at the recent launch of her swimline.

“I’m so glad that Nick has moved on!”

“Her boobs look great in that bikini… better than that little slut did while she was getting banged from behind by my husband.”

“What, me worry? I’m still relevant! People want to buy my cheap shoes, swimwear, and ugly hair extensions! I’m a catch! I can have any man I want!”

“I think Ashlee just lost another pound and Adam Levine just texted me to ‘leave him the fuck alone.’ I’m a has-been with no style and a flabby rack. Maybe Ken Paves will screw me.”

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