DISGRASIAN™

Best-Of-Craigslist: “Teach Me How To Kiss”

Usually, we let the postings from best-of-craigslist that we reprint here speak for themselves. But this one really demands a close reading:

1. “I need a guy to teach me how to kiss.”

Um, no, you don’t. Cuz the thing is, guys in general rank way down on the list of “Great Teachers of the Art of Make-Outage,” behind “Neve Campbell and Denise Richards in Wild Things,” “your favorite stuffed animal,” and “horny Shih-Tzus.” If you really want to learn how to kiss, go to a bar and buy two shots of Patrón, one for you, and one for some slutty-looking drunk chick who you’ll soon be playing tonsil hockey with until she passes out and/or throws up in her purse.

2. “Ideally, it shouldn’t last longer than five minutes, seeing as how most guys creep me the fuck out.”

Continue reading Best-Of-Craigslist: “Teach Me How To Kiss”

Filed under: Always Do Your Homework, Asians Love Homework, Best of Craigslist, Craigslist, Crazy Bitches, Girl-on-Girl Action, Horny Shih-Tzus, Kissing Rules, Making Out

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, Those Taxidermied Cats Were Fast as Lightning

Is this Best of Craigslist ad creepy? Adorable? Creepily adorable?

What we can say for sure is that this Craigslister is serious. Once again, we repeat, serious. And if you can show this guy a portfolio of your work, “it will probably give you an edge in the competition.”

Presuming, uh, there is competition for this kinda work.

Note: This squirrel is not dead or stuffed. But it probably wishes it were.

[Best of Craiglist]
[photo via Sugar Bush Squirrel: The World's Most Photographed Squirrel]

Thanks, Dave!

Filed under: Best of Craigslist, Childhood Obsessions, Craigslist, Creepy Stuff, Fetishes, Hobbies, Kung Fu Fighting, Kung Fu Taxidermy, Squirrels, Stuffed Animals

Marriage Liberasian

The ink is barely dry on la divorce, but it looks like somebody has already moved on…

**Disclaimer**: This Craiglist ad is, er, probably not real. But, um, God bless you if you needed us to tell you that.

Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Bad Breakups, Craigslist, Crazy Bitches, Creepy Old Dudes, Divorce, Freedom, Kimora Lee Likes to Fight, Kimora Lee Simmons, Russell Simmons, Thank God It's Over, Vague Spirituality

You Got to Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em, Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Puke

To see the original Craigslist post, click here.

Filed under: Asians Love Gambling, Best of Craigslist, Binge Drinking, Blackjack, Craigslist, Hot Asian Ladies, Party Foul, Puke, Puking in Public