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Meet Ropid (Rapid + Robot), a new robot just unveiled by scientists in Japan that jumps, responds to directions…
…and is about 10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your obnoxious little cousin with 1 year of ballet and 4 years of piano lessons under her belt, who your aunt dresses up in stupid party dresses every time there’s the teeniest, mundane family function going on–who she will HUSH AN ENTIRE ROOM FOR (sometimes even an NBA Playoff game) so that the little fucker can sing a song and dance it out, then follow with an encore presentasian of a plunked-out, shitty Sonatina on the piano.
10,396,574 more adorable and fun to watch than your cuz. And you can turn it off.
Filed under: Adorable, Adorable-ness, Asian Families, Awesome Inventions, Baby Robot, Cousins, Cute Things, Dope, Dopeass Stuff, Family Functions, Fun, Japan, Performing, Piano, Piano Lessons Are Required, Robots, Ropid
Meet Daniel Liu. He recently signed with Ford Models and can be seen in the upcoming Uniqlo Fall/Winter campaign. He’s of Taiwanese descent and is 6’3″(!) of man. He’s also our blogger pal Joz’s (8 Asians) cousin.
Incidentally, we’re having lunch with Joz this week, where we will 1) try not to drool on our food as we grill her about the hotness she’s related to, and 2) do our damnedest to get invited to their next Family Gathering.
It was pretty clear to me as a kid that my batshit-crazy aunt and uncle were so entirely consumed with their unhappy marriage, that they took a very sloppy, broad-handed (machete as opposed to scalpel) approach to Hardass Asian Parenting. With four young kids at once (three little boys and their wide-eyed older sister), it didn’t matter so much that one had good piano fingers, one was good at wind instruments, and two were good at violin–everybody got piano lessons. Everybody got the same math grades using the same math books, or they were grounded. Hell, everybody got the same haircut, and if they cried… well, they didn’t cry. And when it came to teaching life lessons like self-respect and dignity, the execution was simple and equally blunt–keep the boys inside and don’t let the daughter ever leave the house looking like a tramp. Example: (machete) my female cousin was never allowed to leave the house wearing shorts.
So of course, homegirl always left the house in a floor-length skirt and promptly yanked it off behind the neighbor’s bushes so that she could skip to campus with the teeniest, tiniest, barely-shorts-pretty-much-undies attire she could. This eventually evolved into miniskirts and half-shirts, then minidresses and half-buttoned blouses. And so on and so forth. All the while, she hated her parents, and the look on her face always said so–a disastrous outcome, by any standard.
I always thought that if they hadn’t been so heavy-handed about the damn shorts, then my lady cousin’s gams wouldn’t have been so desperate to BREATHE, and she wouldn’t have felt forever obliged into adulthood to incorporate “tiny” into her daily wardrobe. Why didn’t her mom just tell her, “Listen, you’re skinny. You’re pretty. Wear whatever you want. I believe you will make the right choice,” and call it a day? I bet she would have ended up and smart pantsuits and cute, knee-length pencil skirts paired with cardigans by college. And the girl could avoided the years of lying, the hiding, the scowling moments spent wearing her stupid summer pants while grumbling “I hate you. I HATE YOU!” next to her mother. Right?
Filed under: Ali Lohan, Bad Parenting, Cousins, Dina Lohan Makes Us Hurl, Fucked Up Teens, Hardass Asian Parents, Hating Your Mom, Poor Things, Scowls, Strange Vietnamese Behavior, Tramp Face, Weird Rules
Occupation: Sculptor and artist
Known for: Reprznting for women at Yale by designing the campus’ Women’s Table, offering her artistic sense and architectural expertise to Washington State’s ongoing Confluence Project, and, most famously, designing the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in D.C.
As we honored our past and present troops this weekend (which includes Diana’s cousin Victor–big upz), we thought a lot about her vision and contributions to our country. We’re so grateful to have her on our team.
Oh, and yes, we’re just trying to get your brain off of this image: