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I know this.
And yet, how can I not be thankful that this photo was taken?
I mean, the cracking up. The energy. Shiloh’s missing tooth. Those perfectly unlaced moto boots. Mad’s furry coat and big ol’ white feet. And–sigh–Zahara is my new style icon, goodbye Alexa Chung…
Families this fuzzin’ cute should be ILLEGAL! But thank god they’re not.
Filed under: Alexa Chung, Brangelina, Celebrity Kids, Cool Kids, Families, Heaven Is Filled With Small, Laughing, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, missing tooth, Mixed Families, Paparazzi Photos, Perfectly-Dressed Munchkins, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, The More The Merrier?, This Is So Wrong, variety rules, Zahara Jolie-Pitt
Name: Hunson Nguyen
Hails from: Ptown
Occupation: Graphic designer, Tumblr theme creator, blogger, Portland State University student
Why He’s A Babe: Sure, he’s athletic–a former competitive swimmer. And he loves cute things. He’s a crunchy, friendly, proud Pacific Northwesterner. And he’s got the coolest last name this side of Wang.
This guy manages not one blog, not two blogs–and nope, not just three blogs. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just type “just three blogs?” I meant, “HOW THE HELL DOES THIS GUY GO TO SCHOOL AND SOCIAL NETWORK AND SPEND TIME OUTDOORS BEING ALL OREGONY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY RUN MULTIPLE TUMBLR BLOGS WHEN I ALMOST HAVE A WEEKLY MELTDOWN JUST TRYING TO KEEP ONE FRICKIN’ BLOG UP AND RUNNING, AND I HAVE A PARTNER!??”
I don’t know, but something about the new millennium has made “multitasking” one of man’s most attractive qualities. Hunson is quite the multitasker.
Filed under: Bloggers, Cool Kids, Cute Things, Cutie Patooties, Diana has Vietnamese Pride, Happiness Is A Warm Hunson, Hunson Nguyen, Multitasking, Nguyens Rule, Oregon, Oregoniasians, PNW, Portland, PSU, Students, Swimmers, Tumblr
My family fled war-torn Vietnam in June of 1975 by secretly hopping aboard a freight ship meant to carry textiles. Someone tipped my mom’s brother off to the opportunity and he immediately rounded up the rest of the relatives. They hastily collected their meager belongings, then hustled to the dock. My family was joined by about 200 other people on the shore. The ship docked and everyone quietly boarded the ship, tucking themselves into the dark nooks, while dozens of jumbo bins were loaded onto the deck. The ship left shore once again, and after a number of miles some of the bins began to move, as 150 more people emerged from underneath. They all went to America.
Every time my mom and I talk about this particularly fascinating bit of their story, we clash over one point.
I say, “So that’s how you came here!”
She says, “Yes, we came on a boat.”
I say, “Right. So you were boat people that came–”
She cuts me off and shrieks, “WE ARE NOT BOAT PEOPLE!”
I say, “Didn’t we just talk about the boat you came on?”
She says, “It was a freight ship!”
I say, “Isn’t a ship a large boat?”
Then she stops talking to me. Moms are so weird.
Today, I saw photos of those womb-rumbling cutie patooties Maddox and Pax Jolie-Pitt cruising coolly around the canals in a sweet speedboat:
…and all I could think was, “Mom! Boat people are so AWESOME!”
Filed under: Amazian Jr., Awesomeness, Boat People, Boats, Cool Kids, Cool Photos, Hardass Asian Moms, Maddox Driving, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Pax Thien, Pride, Refugees, Speedboats, Synonyms, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Venice, Vietnam
Ninjasonik recently released the party track, “Tight Pants, which hails hip hop kids in tight pants as champions daring to be different. They send a lyrical shout-out to Uniqlo, our favorite Japanese low-cost outfitter and a prominent supplier of the “tight pants movement.”
But the props don’t stop there–Ninjasonik then teamed up with a bunch of Brooklyn cool kids (like my long-lost pal Jake Septimus) to produce a music video almost entirely composed of clips from Uniqlock, Uniqlo’s awesomely weird widget/microsite, which features emotionless scenes of models dancing in formation.
And WAITAMINUTE: Are those little fuzzy characters an homage to Miyazaki’s soot sprites? If so, we love this spot even MORE.
Is it wrong to have a crush on a 12 year-old kid? If so, we don’t want to be right.
We don’t know if Kevin Lin is going to grow up to be a burnout raver or the next Spielberg, but we’ll be keeping an eye on him. You can, too, here.
If this kid isn’t DISGRASIAN’s love child…
You fucking rule, kid.
Why is some asshole young’un always stealing my gosh-darned thunder?
First it was that little tramp* that beat me to the punch on a landmark Jewsian Bat Mitzvah–complete with glorious photos and full NYT coverage.
Now, it’s some little brat* that’s trying to beat me out on my dream of making my mark as the second coming of Neil Peart.
Um, trying…rather, er, successfully.
*Not actually a tramp. Actually the most adorable little Jewess you ever did see.
*Not actually a brat. Actually a total freakin’ genius and my hero.
Okay, so singer M.I.A. is a terrorist?
Last week, Sri Lankan rapper DeLon released a YouTube video of him rhyming over M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” cut together with violent footage of suicide bombings and devastation wrought by the LTTE, aka the Tamil Tigers, a Sri Lankan secessionist organization recognized as a terrorist group by many countries, including the U.S. M.I.A.’s father, Arular (after whom her first album is named), is a Tamil militant and, apparently, she makes references to the Tamil Tigers’ struggle in some of her songs–a fact I’ve never noticed because I was too busy rockin’ to her beats.
I have to admit that I know virtually nothing about Sri Lankan history, and it seems like M.I.A.’s references–in her lyrics and the imagery she uses on stage–are more hipster pastiche than political. That said, I generally think it’s wack how the images of revolutionaries get co-opted by Western cool kids who fancy themselves “edgy” but could give two shits about what those revolutionaries actually did. And, every time I see a picture of Mao on a throw pillow or a shrunken T-shirt, I do want to beat the person who bought that crap with a stick.
And what should we make of these adorable old people, acting out “Paper Planes” with their grandchillun? Are they supporters of terrorism, too?
I leave the country for 3 weeks and, as soon as I return, I find out that M.I.A. is retiring from touring?
The best concert I’ve been to in 2008 was the M.I.A. show I saw with Diana LAST SUMMER. No show I’ve seen since has matched the energy or fun. That night, we guzzled cheap, gigantic beers, danced a little with our purses, got jostled by frat boys in sweat-soaked button-downs, giggled at all the saucer-eyed people tripping around us and throwing rave hands, envied the wasp-waists of the just-out gay boys who were wearing sunglasses-at-night and Mardi Gras beads as necklaces, felt fat, realized that American Apparel isn’t ugly if you’re 19 and a waif and believe that leggings are the second-coming of pants, felt old, danced some more with our plastic cups, guzzled another round of cheap, gigantic beers, forgot to be awkward, bought some yellow M.I.A. flip-flops that looked like a bunch of ripe bananas, and were approached in the parking lot afterwards to have our picture taken for some recently-launched fashion blog, which made us feel for one brief, damp, summer second like we could still hang with the cool kids.
Hear that, M.I.A.? My only point is, We need you, Girl. Without you, who else will get uptight indie snobs to shake it on the dance floor? Who will bring frat boys in broadcloth and gay boys in beads together in one room? Who, if not you, is going to make us feel young, free, and delusional enough to wear neon?
Our friend Amy stars in the video above. She’s the adorable girl reading George Dubya’s correspondence aloud (there’s no one else in the video, but I’m just clarifying for the weary).
Yes, we know, she clearly thinks his prose could use some work.
We’re incredibly proud of her, not just for her elocution but for her subtle ability to make Dubya’s encouragement “to spend time outside” sound about as ridiculous IN A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES DURING TIME OF GLOBAL PERIL AND WAR… as it is.
Name: Wendy Vo Occupation: student, child prodigy, cutie patootie Known for: having the cutest cheeks we’ve ever wanted to pinch, speaking–by the age of 8–11 languages fluently (including Vietnamese, Russian, Arabic and Portuguese), composing 44 songs, being the youngest member of ASCAP. Last month, Forbes named her among its Top Ten Role Models 18 and Under, which we can’t argue with–all we know is that we sure as heck wish we were a little more like her.
Name: Wendy Vo
Occupation: student, child prodigy, cutie patootie
Known for: having the cutest cheeks we’ve ever wanted to pinch, speaking–by the age of 8–11 languages fluently (including Vietnamese, Russian, Arabic and Portuguese), composing 44 songs, being the youngest member of ASCAP.
Last month, Forbes named her among its Top Ten Role Models 18 and Under, which we can’t argue with–all we know is that we sure as heck wish we were a little more like her.
On Thanksgiving, a group of about 15 watched me whomp the greatest Guitar Hero player I’ve ever met, song after song, after song. He went down to the tune of Metallica’s “One,” Living Colour’s “Personality,” Stevie Ray Vaughn’s “Pride and Joy,” and then some. During The Who’s “The Seeker,” he got so frustrated that he yanked his beautiful axe and smashed it–like a modern-day Pete Townshend–into five pieces on the ground. Was this, you ask, the greatest moment of my life? Abso-fuckin’-lutely.
The peanut gallery swirled with rumors. Diana is autistic! Diana is unemployed! Diana is a game hacker! No one could understand why or how someone above the age of 12 could be so effing good at something requiring an Xbox 360. “How many hours do you have to play to get that good?” one skeptical fellow asked, convinced that I must have quit my job to devote the free 60-or-so hours to heroic strumming. “You practice every night, don’t you?” I shook my head no. Practice Shmactice. Some people are just gooooooooooooood.
I mean, come ON. I’m Asian! There should be no surprise here. We love to be great at things, more importantly, we love to be the best. Nothing drives our ambition more than the prospect of beating someone else at something they love! Nothing! But people just think that our competitive streak is limited to all of the boring bullshit, like spelling bees (of course I’ve got trophies), academic decathlons (check my parents’ house for my medals), math, violin-playing, chess.
What those people don’t realize is that we love to rule at EVERYTHING, including cool shit. And it begins at birth. Take, for example, these kickass little Amazian Jrs., who already have such amazing skills on the tables that I want to cry. Eat that, Steve Aoki!