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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Suspected Times Square Bomber Faisal Shahzad

May 7th, 2010 | 9 comments | Posted by Jen

Suspected Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad is giving people a bad name.

And, no, we don’t mean terrorists. (They do a fantastic job of that on their own, obvs.)

We mean immigrants. And naturalized citizens. And Pakistani Americans, who, in the wake of several recent terror plots involving other Pakistani Americans, are living in fear of the backlash. People whose lives may resemble Shahzad’s in one way or another with the exception of one key point–they aren’t terrorists.

But they’re certainly more likely now to be suspected as such. Which is just what everyone needs in our current climate of immigrant-hate, rah-rah-racial profiling, and politicians preying on people’s fear of The Other, as in this ad from Republican Dan Fanelli, who’s running for Congress in Florida:

(For any of you geniuses who actually think racial profiling works–we seem to be Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Suspected Times Square Bomber Faisal Shahzad

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ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

April 28th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?

America's rack!

She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.

Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:

Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

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The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly

April 2nd, 2010 | 12 comments | Posted by Jen

You know those people who automatically assume you don’t speak English or say “Wow! Your English is really good” when it’s obvs your first language or the people who never seem to be able to understand what you’re saying even though you basically speak the Queen’s English and the OED is, like, your favorite book?

I’m pretty sure those are the same dumbasses who wrote these Tea Party protest signs (via Pargon’s flickr under “Teabonics”):

Continue reading The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chuck Norris

March 11th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy birthday to Chuck Norris, who turned 70 this week!

We’re not sure how someone who actually knew the late great Bruce Lee and came into contact with his philosophical deepness could become such an anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-science, fearmongering toolbag…

…but no one’s perfect, right Chuck?

From the Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts:

When you say “no one’s perfect,” Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

[Chuck Norris Facts]

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Sure, Two Wrongs Don’t Make Right-Wing…

February 18th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

The 2010 Conservative Political Action Conference, affectionally known as CPAC, is under way as we speak in our nation’s capital.

Conservationists. No wait, Conservatives.

In today’s update on the conference goings-on, HuffPo pulled this choice quote from Jason Mattera of the Young America’s Foundation:

“Our notion of freedom doesn’t consist of snorting cocaine, which distinguishes us from Barack Obama.”



Oh ho ho ho ho! ZING!

Can’t help but wonder, though: does the conservative notion of freedom include driving drunk, getting arrested, and  gobbling pharmaceutical heroin? Just wondering.

(Cock-sure commenters, we know that everybody’s parsing words. But this shit is seriously SO SILLY.)

[HuffPo: CPAC 2010 Update]

Source Source

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater

February 12th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

Last week, during his kickoff speech at the first National Teabagger Tea Party Convention, former congressman Tom Tancredo called for voters to take civics literacy tests and suggested President Obama only got elected because the U.S. doesn’t require them.

“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House, name is Barack Hussein Obama,” Tancredo said.

Tancredo, a one-note anti-immigration advocate, got a partner-in-hysteria this week when Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the creepy-sounding Alliance for a Sustainable USA–a non-profit that champions an outright immigration moratorium and couches its anti-immigration agenda in more palatable terms such as “environmentalism” and being for “social coherence”–came out in support of the idea.

Ms. Yeh, wouldn’t you know, is herself an immigrant several times over. From a 2004 Sierra magazine–as in The Sierra Club–profile:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin

February 11th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy birthday to Sarah Palin, who turns 46 today!

Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right?

Here are some other numbers to chew on on this special occasion (cuz we’re Asian, and we love math):

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang

January 29th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Early twenty-something boys don’t catch a lot of breaks, it’s true. Sure, they’ve started wearing ties to work–but they’re still making coffee. They spend dinner on the couch with $5 footlongs, a bong, the roommate who shits twice as much and never buys toilet paper. They have unexplainable indoor furniture (1980s rolling desk, black entertainment stand, armless teal fabric La-Z-Boy knockoff) on their outdoor balcony. Their early twenty-something ex-girlfriend is now (joyfully) screwing a thirty-something with a tastefully furnished starter house and an Audi.

Ah, dude life after college.

So there’s a part of me that understands why the four guys in the “O’Keefe Gang” (that little nickname is just so adowwable) dressed up as telephone company workers to tap Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu’s federal building phones (no, they did not crib this saucy ploy from a Martin Lawrence film), in hopes of embarassing her and taking widespread Conservatard credit for it–typically the kind of instant notariety that only causing a public smear of a non-profit fighting institutionalized disenfranchisement or creating the world’s biggest timesuck can earn you. They wanted to be important! They wanted to count for something! AWW!

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang

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The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti

January 13th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

That ignorant windbag Pat Robertson’s theory as to why Haiti was struck by yesterday’s devastating 7.0 earthquake, which has tragically taken hundreds of thousands of lives, is not surprising: the country made a pact with the Devil to escape French colonialism, of course! (Crikey. Let’s not forget that this man and his evangelist buddy, Jerry Falwell, once blamed the 9/11 attacks on gays and the ACLU.)

And it’s hardly shocking the Rush Limbaugh discouraged Americans from contributing to relief efforts, at least those linked at the White House “propaganda” website:

Continue reading The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti

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We’re Employed Through The Year! (Sarah Palin Joins Fox News)

January 11th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

You never know, as garbage-feeding bloggers, whether or not you’ll get fucked by the wrong famous-for-nothing going sober or the world’s worst couple getting divorced. Will you run out of sordid news fodder? What might you have to complain about? Will your blogging career be downgraded to a month-long series of clever Facebook status updates and a few choice tweets? Oh lordy, the stress!

So it’s always good to know that the world will soon be hit by a fruitful period of shame, therefore guaranteeing you good work for months and months to come (dare I say it–years?).

Imagine my relief, friends, when I saw this breaking news today:


Turn the volume down




Phew. Phew, phew, phew. 2010 is going to be a busy year for DISGRASIAN!

[CBS News: Sarah Palin Joining Fox News as Contributor]

Source

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash

November 20th, 2009 | 9 comments | Posted by Diana

Obama Bow Japan

To the angry, inflammatory, right-wing pundits (like Michelle Malkin and Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh), and all of the folks that are losing sleep over the fact that President Obama (gasp!) bowed while shaking the hand of Japanese Emperor Akihito…

Kirk Walters Bow Cartoon

…there’s a fascinating new concept we’d like to introduce to you called “SHOWING RESPECT.”

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Bo “Katie Couric Looks Oriental” Dietl

November 13th, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

On Monday, former NYPD detective, private investigator, and FOX News regular Bo Dietl went on Don Imus’s Imus in the Morning and managed to insult both Katie Couric and Asians in the span of a minute-and-a-half.

Take a look:

SUMMARY OF OFFENSES:

  1. “She’s got her eyes pulled so far, she’s starting to look Chinese herself.”
  2. Look, as much as I’ve wanted Katie Couric to be an honorary member of the tribe since her thorough dismantling of Sarah Palin during the presidential campaign–which Palin’s still crying about–there’s no way that even I could say homegirl passes:

    Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Bo “Katie Couric Looks Oriental” Dietl

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