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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Suspected Times Square Bomber Faisal Shahzad
Suspected Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad is giving people a bad name.
And, no, we don’t mean terrorists. (They do a fantastic job of that on their own, obvs.)
We mean immigrants. And naturalized citizens. And Pakistani Americans, who, in the wake of several recent terror plots involving other Pakistani Americans, are living in fear of the backlash. People whose lives may resemble Shahzad’s in one way or another with the exception of one key point–they aren’t terrorists.
But they’re certainly more likely now to be suspected as such. Which is just what everyone needs in our current climate of immigrant-hate, rah-rah-racial profiling, and politicians preying on people’s fear of The Other, as in this ad from Republican Dan Fanelli, who’s running for Congress in Florida:
(For any of you geniuses who actually think racial profiling works–we seem to be Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Suspected Times Square Bomber Faisal Shahzad
Filed under: Anti-Immigration Law, Arizona, Bad Apples, Conservatards, Dan Fanelli, Dick Cancer, Faisal Shahzad, Immigrants, Islamic Extremism, Naturalized Citizens, Pakistani Americans, Political Extremism, Terrorists, Times Square Car Bomber Faisal Shahzad
ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton
Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?
America's rack!
She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.
Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:
Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton
Filed under: A Revolution's Brewing, Anti-Agin' Asian, Big Dawg, Boobs, Christian Conservatives, Conservatards, Conservatives, Country/Western Singers, Disappointing Your Parents and Your Parent-Country, Enough Already, FOX News is a Joke, God Lovers, Grating Voices, Gung-Ho, Guns, Indoctrinasian, Liberty, Lisa Mei Norton, Logic Is Useless, Michelle Wie, Obama Birth Certificate, Pop Singers with 3rd-Grade Vocabularies, Really Smart People, Right Wing Nutjobs, Ruining Your Children, Singer/Songwriters, Tea Parties, Tea Party Anthem, Teabaggers, What the hell are you people talking about?, Why Does The Tea Party Get So Much Press?
The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly
You know those people who automatically assume you don’t speak English or say “Wow! Your English is really good” when it’s obvs your first language or the people who never seem to be able to understand what you’re saying even though you basically speak the Queen’s English and the OED is, like, your favorite book?
I’m pretty sure those are the same dumbasses who wrote these Tea Party protest signs (via Pargon’s flickr under “Teabonics”):
Continue reading The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly
Filed under: Bad Spellers, Conservatards, Fringe, Hypocrisy, Really Stupid People, So-Called Activism, Speak English, Stupid People, Tea Party Conventions, Tea Party Protests, Teabaggers, Teabagging Protests, The Queen's English
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chuck Norris
Happy birthday to Chuck Norris, who turned 70 this week!
We’re not sure how someone who actually knew the late great Bruce Lee and came into contact with his philosophical deepness could become such an anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-science, fearmongering toolbag…
…but no one’s perfect, right Chuck?
From the Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts:
When you say “no one’s perfect,” Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
Filed under: Black Belts, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris Abortion, Chuck Norris Evolution, Chuck Norris Facts, Chuck Norris Gay Marriage, Conservatards, Karate, Martial Artists, Martial Arts, Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, Way of the Dragon
Sure, Two Wrongs Don’t Make Right-Wing…
The 2010 Conservative Political Action Conference, affectionally known as CPAC, is under way as we speak in our nation’s capital.
Conservationists. No wait, Conservatives.
In today’s update on the conference goings-on, HuffPo pulled this choice quote from Jason Mattera of the Young America’s Foundation:
“Our notion of freedom doesn’t consist of snorting cocaine, which distinguishes us from Barack Obama.”
Oh ho ho ho ho! ZING!
Can’t help but wonder, though: does the conservative notion of freedom include driving drunk, getting arrested, and gobbling pharmaceutical heroin? Just wondering.
(Cock-sure commenters, we know that everybody’s parsing words. But this shit is seriously SO SILLY.)
Filed under: Alcoholics, Arrests, Bad Jokes, Cocaine, Coke, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Conservative Political Action Conference, Conservatives, CPAC, CPAC 2010, Drunks, George W. Bush Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh Are All Addicts, Huffington Post, Jason Mattera, Opiates, Oxycontin, Rehab, Rush Limbaugh Addiction, Rush Limbaugh Is A Junkie, Young America's Foundation
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater
Last week, during his kickoff speech at the first National Teabagger Tea Party Convention, former congressman Tom Tancredo called for voters to take civics literacy tests and suggested President Obama only got elected because the U.S. doesn’t require them.
“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House, name is Barack Hussein Obama,” Tancredo said.
Tancredo, a one-note anti-immigration advocate, got a partner-in-hysteria this week when Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the creepy-sounding Alliance for a Sustainable USA–a non-profit that champions an outright immigration moratorium and couches its anti-immigration agenda in more palatable terms such as “environmentalism” and being for “social coherence”–came out in support of the idea.
Ms. Yeh, wouldn’t you know, is herself an immigrant several times over. From a 2004 Sierra magazine–as in The Sierra Club–profile:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater
Filed under: Anti-Immigration, Beans and Ricism, Civics Literacy Test, Conservatards, Haters, Immigrant Haters, Immigrants, Immigration Reform, National Tea Party Convention, Ricism, Tea Party Conventions, Tom Tancredo
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin
Happy birthday to Sarah Palin, who turns 46 today!
Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right?
Here are some other numbers to chew on on this special occasion (cuz we’re Asian, and we love math):
Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sarah Palin
Filed under: Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number, Conservatards, FOX News is a Joke, Going Rogue, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin 2012, Sarah Palin Birthday, Sarah Palin FOX News, Sarah Palin Is Not Qualified To Be President, Sarah Palin Unqualified
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang
Early twenty-something boys don’t catch a lot of breaks, it’s true. Sure, they’ve started wearing ties to work–but they’re still making coffee. They spend dinner on the couch with $5 footlongs, a bong, the roommate who shits twice as much and never buys toilet paper. They have unexplainable indoor furniture (1980s rolling desk, black entertainment stand, armless teal fabric La-Z-Boy knockoff) on their outdoor balcony. Their early twenty-something ex-girlfriend is now (joyfully) screwing a thirty-something with a tastefully furnished starter house and an Audi.
Ah, dude life after college.
So there’s a part of me that understands why the four guys in the “O’Keefe Gang” (that little nickname is just so adowwable) dressed up as telephone company workers to tap Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu’s federal building phones (no, they did not crib this saucy ploy from a Martin Lawrence film), in hopes of embarassing her and taking widespread Conservatard credit for it–typically the kind of instant notariety that only causing a public smear of a non-profit fighting institutionalized disenfranchisement or creating the world’s biggest timesuck can earn you. They wanted to be important! They wanted to count for something! AWW!
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang
Filed under: ACORN, Anti-Feminists, Conservatards, Flogging, Illegal Activities, James O'Keefe, Mary Landrieu, Penis Monologues, Pimp Costume, Sen. Mary Landrieu, The O'Keefe Gang, Whoopsieeee, William Flanagan Son, Wiretapping
The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti
That ignorant windbag Pat Robertson’s theory as to why Haiti was struck by yesterday’s devastating 7.0 earthquake, which has tragically taken hundreds of thousands of lives, is not surprising: the country made a pact with the Devil to escape French colonialism, of course! (Crikey. Let’s not forget that this man and his evangelist buddy, Jerry Falwell, once blamed the 9/11 attacks on gays and the ACLU.)
And it’s hardly shocking the Rush Limbaugh discouraged Americans from contributing to relief efforts, at least those linked at the White House “propaganda” website:
Continue reading The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti
Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, ACLU, Christmas Bomb Attempt, Colonialism, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Dead Babies Dead Children Dead People, Death Toll, FOX News is a Joke, Gays, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Human Suffering, Intel, Jerry Falwell, Pacts WIth The Devil, Pat Robertson, Politicizasian Of Tragedies, President Barack Obama, Propaganda, Race Dialogue, Red Cross, Relief, Rush Limbaugh, Sadness, The White House, This is Bullshit, Tragedy, Tragic Events
We’re Employed Through The Year! (Sarah Palin Joins Fox News)
You never know, as garbage-feeding bloggers, whether or not you’ll get fucked by the wrong famous-for-nothing going sober or the world’s worst couple getting divorced. Will you run out of sordid news fodder? What might you have to complain about? Will your blogging career be downgraded to a month-long series of clever Facebook status updates and a few choice tweets? Oh lordy, the stress!
So it’s always good to know that the world will soon be hit by a fruitful period of shame, therefore guaranteeing you good work for months and months to come (dare I say it–years?).
Imagine my relief, friends, when I saw this breaking news today:
Turn the volume down
Phew. Phew, phew, phew. 2010 is going to be a busy year for DISGRASIAN!
[CBS News: Sarah Palin Joining Fox News as Contributor]
Filed under: All the Wrong Career Moves, Bad for everyone, Bloggers, Conservatards, Fox News, FOX News is a Joke, Phew, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is An Idiotic Cunt, Sarah Palin Pundit, Unemployment
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash
To the angry, inflammatory, right-wing pundits (like Michelle Malkin and Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh), and all of the folks that are losing sleep over the fact that President Obama (gasp!) bowed while shaking the hand of Japanese Emperor Akihito…
…there’s a fascinating new concept we’d like to introduce to you called “SHOWING RESPECT.”
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Obama Bow-cklash
Filed under: Attitude, Change, Conservatards, Conservative Pundits, Controversy, Cultural Diplomacy, Emeror Akihito, Evolution, Global Warming, Japan, Michelle Malkin, President Barack Obama, Respeck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, The American Way, Uproar, World Relasians
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Bo “Katie Couric Looks Oriental” Dietl
On Monday, former NYPD detective, private investigator, and FOX News regular Bo Dietl went on Don Imus’s Imus in the Morning and managed to insult both Katie Couric and Asians in the span of a minute-and-a-half.
Take a look:
SUMMARY OF OFFENSES:
- “She’s got her eyes pulled so far, she’s starting to look Chinese herself.”
Look, as much as I’ve wanted Katie Couric to be an honorary member of the tribe since her thorough dismantling of Sarah Palin during the presidential campaign–which Palin’s still crying about–there’s no way that even I could say homegirl passes:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Bo “Katie Couric Looks Oriental” Dietl
Filed under: Beau Dietl, Bo Dietl, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Don Imus, Douchebags, Fox News, Imus in the Morning, Katie Couric, Shock Jocks, Stop Using the Word Oriental, The Voice of Reason
