You are currently browsing posts tagged with Congratulasians

Padmama Lakshmi

February 1st, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It looks like Padma is going to have a baby girl!

And dayum. If that little baby grows up to look anything like mama, all of your kids are gonna need to lock up their husbands.

[Page Six: Looks Like It's A Girl For Padma Lakshmi]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Feeling High About Evan Low

December 3rd, 2009 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

You probably agree: Evan Low was one of the true highlights of Angry Asian Man’s 30 under 30 list this year.

He is, after all, only 26. He’s also adorably handsome, with the kind of ready smile that somehow seems to denote a firm handshake and kind demeanor. And in 2006, months before the little bugger had even been elected to City Council in the city of Campbell, SF Mayor Newsom had officially declared June 5 “Evan Low Day” for San Fransiscans. The guy has his own day. Seriously.

Mayor Low

Mayor Low

As a city council member, Low quickly racked up distinctions as the first openly gay, Chinese American and youngest person in the Campbell City Council. He was also noted as the State of California’s youngest, openly gay official.

So get this: on Tuesday, Low was promoted from vice-mayor to a one-year term as Mayor of Campbell, which now makes him the youngest gay, and one of the youngest Asian American mayors in the whole freakin’ country. Hot diggity, this country needs more Gayors!

We can barely contain our excitement about a young, hot, gaysian rocking such a prestigious city office–but we will because we’re also reallyreallyreallyreally jealous that he has achieved so frickin’ much with nary a wrinkle around his happy eyes.

Continue reading Feeling High About Evan Low

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Padma Lakshmi Is Pregnant, And We’ll Stay Happy For Her As Long As She Gets A Little Jowly

October 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Congratulasians are in order! The divine Padma Lakshmi has confirmed to Us Magazine that she is preggers at age 39, after a long struggle with Endometriosis. Endometriosis is a uterine tissue condition that is often associated with infertility; after being diagnosed herself, Lakshmi co-founded the Endometriosis Foundation of America.

Even WE want to make babies with her!

We could not be more thrilled for Lakshmi, and wish her an awesome, weird, joyous, safe 9 months!

Seriously, though: If she maintains those stick arms and that skinny face and says stuff after the birth like, “It was so easy and comfortable! I’ve never felt more sexy or beautiful! My ankles never felt so thin! I certainly didn’t feel gassy or constipated or acne-prone or whale-like! I just love being pregnant!”–she’s going on our shit list.

[Endometriosis Foundation Of America - Official Site]

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Au Naturel

June 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hooray! So Thomas “I Loves to Pop Out Them Babies” Beatie finally gave birth to baby number two. And baby number one, just so’s ya know, actually turned out to be pretty durned cute. Congratulasians go out to the happy family!

Bun is out of the oven!

Just one thing. We learned from 20/20 that the baby was delivered via “natural childbirth.”

Ehrrrmmm…

Hmmm…

Uhhhhhh…

Errr… can somebody please explain to us exactly what, in this case, “natural childbirth” means?

[ABC News: Exclusive - 'Pregnant Man' Gives Birth to a Second Child]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Mad Wedding

December 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I am rather obsessed with Christina Hendricks, who plays Mad Men‘s glorious, whip-smart, feline secretary Joan Holloway. Her porcelain skin, bodacious hips, magnificent coif, wardrobe of endless solids, and elegant neck are the stuff of goddesses, or at least of wonderful seductresses and forces of nature. If you watch Mad Men (it should basically be required viewing), you know that it would be impossible to imagine the spitfire embodied by any other woman–because Joan needs to be played be a woman, and Hendricks is most certainly a woman.

Hendricks is an antidote to a plague of Hollywood’s dull-eyed, static, overdressed, bony girl actresses (like the entire cast of the new 90210 that I refuse to investigate)–who parade down Robertson Blvd. as meaningfully as a film premiere red carpet and become US Weekly staples well before they amass multiple credits on their IMDB.

She’s wonderful! And now she’s engaged…


…to one of us, actor Geoffrey Arend, who–look!–has a face any mother would love. I’m already dying just imagining how cute their babies will be!

Congratulasians go out to the happy couple!

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What a Wonderful Takei-sian!

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


If these aren’t the cutest wedding photos we’ve ever seen, we’re not sure what are! Many, many, many congratulasians go out to George Takei and his handsome hubby Brad Altman on their recent nuptials! We foresee a future of lots and lots of super-duper happy years spent together in domestic bliss (although, speaking from personal experience, we must insert the caveat that sometimes domestic life is just “super” and not always so “duper”).


Anyway… where should we send presents? More importantly, is there any cake left? We’re starving.

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Such Great Heights

June 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

News outlets are alive with yesterday’s word that “Professor Splash,” (aka Darren Taylor) a professional high-diver, broke his own Guinness World Record for highest shallow water dive at Colorado hotspot, Hyland Hills Water World.

Even though we don’t think he’s an actual professor (like Jen’s dad), we have to give Taylor props for accomplishing this lifelong pursuit of a world record! Our parents have always wanted us to break some kind of world record–most lives saved, most consecutive perfect gymnastics scores, least amount of time needed to find a disease cure–and we’ve never been able to do it.

But Taylor is a world champion! And more than that, a man who has reached his lifelong goal!

…of um, diving 35 feet, 4 inches. Into a kiddie pool. Filled with 12 inches of iced water.

Er… congratulasians? The competition must have been very stiff.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Hardass Asian Coaches

June 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“The Big Four”: The Boston Celtics’ Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Strength and Conditioning Coach Bryan Doo


RAY ALLEN: Man oh man. We finally get rings. Nothing tops this. Nothing.

KEVIN GARNETT: Didja hear you tied the NBA record for most 3′s in a Finals game tonight? Way to leave it all on the floor, muthafucka.

RAY ALLEN: Really? How about that.

BRYAN DOO: Great work, Ray. You did good. You’re going down in the record books. You’ll have to share that record, but…they’re putting your name down. Right next to the names of Kenny “The Jet” Smith and Scottie Pippen.

RAY ALLEN: So I’m in great company.

BRYAN DOO: You’re right in there with the best. “Tied” with ‘em, which means “just as good,” I guess. (beat) It would’ve been sweet to get that eighth 3 though, wouldn’t it? Ah, man, that would’ve been sweet.

KEVIN GARNETT: Let Ray have his moment, dude.

BRYAN DOO: You’re right. Let’s talk about you, KG. Let’s talk about you and your moment. How does it feel?

KEVIN GARNETT: I don’t have the words. It’s a dream come true.

BRYAN DOO: It was almost perfect, wasn’t it?

KEVIN GARNETT: Almost? Man, it was perfect.

BRYAN DOO: When you pictured this moment as a kid, did you picture doing it in a Celtic uniform? Did you think you’d be crushing a legendary franchise like the Los Angeles Lakers? Did you imagine getting up on that makeshift stage, with confetti falling all around you, accepting the Larry O’Brien trophy in one hand and the Finals MVP in the–

KEVIN GARNETT: We all know that the MVP trophy is going to Paul. And he deserves it. I’m happy for him.

BRYAN DOO: You’re happy for him? That’s cool. Really generous of you.

KEVIN GARNETT: I’ll pick up that MVP trophy next time.

BRYAN DOO: You sure will.

KEVIN GARNETT: Yep.

BRYAN DOO: I mean, if there’s a next time. You never know when you’re going to get back on the big stage. But I’m sure you’re right. Next time, for sure.

PAUL PIERCE: Bryan, what’s eatin’ you?

BRYAN DOO: Who me? Nothing! Why would you say that? I’m happy. I’m thrilled. Look, you’re crushing the Lakers by 39 points. What do I have to be unhappy about? I’m ecstatic! I’m over the moon!

PAUL PIERCE: Alright. Then chill. We’re all getting rings here, including you.

BRYAN DOO: And I’m going to wear mine with pride. I’ll wear it and I’ll always think back to this moment, when we were crushing the Lakers by 39 points, wrapped up together in this awesome man-hug.

KEVIN GARNETT: That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

BRYAN DOO: 39 points! That’s a record.

RAY ALLEN: It’s the biggest blow-out in Finals history, I guess.

BRYAN DOO: Er, not quite. It’s a record for the largest point-margin in a decisive Finals game, which is different from the largest point-margin in a Finals game, which was 42 points, set by the Chicago Bulls in 1998 when they blew out the Utah Jazz–

KEVIN GARNETT: Sweet Jesus, Bryan! Will you just spit it out for god’s sake? Say what you want to say and stop beating around the bush. My ears are bleeding, man! I just won an NBA championship! I’m going to Disney World! My mug’s going on a Wheaties box tomorrow! What kinda problem could you possibly have with that?

BRYAN DOO: No problem, KG! None! I just think, you know, we could all do better sometimes, that’s all. (beat) Hey, who’s up for a three-peat, “Big Three”?

KEVIN GARNETT: I’m depressed.

RAY ALLEN: I feel like a failure.

PAUL PIERCE: Life is meaningless.

Source: ABC

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Paranoid Android

May 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

To my Vietnamese broham, Trung Le, in Canada (or “Canadia,” as my college roomate once said),

Congratulasians on inventing your country’s first android! Hey, why is she in a wheelchair, may I ask?–Y’know what? Never mind.

Anyway, I have one real suggestion to improve your new robot girlfriend–er, friend.

When you cop an unwanted android feel, she should not wait a moment, swat gently at you, pause, and then state: “I do not like it when you touch my breasts” (as evidenced in the above video).

She should swat and state at the same time.

Again, just a suggestion.

xoxo
diana

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Thanks, Thomas!

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Congratulasians to the Affianced!

May 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The happy daysians–resulting from last week’s California Supreme Court ruling that cleared the way for gay marriage–just keep on coming! George Takei announced on his blog over the weekend that he now plans to marry his partner of over two decades, Brad Altman–and even though we hate weddings we can’t help but get kinda weepy and super-sentimental about it.

Congratulasians, Takei and Altman! Can we please be invited to the wedding? We are great gift givers and willing to dance until the band loads out.

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Rock of Congratulasians

February 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We like to think that it was solely the combined influence of DISGRASIAN and Angry Asian Man readerships that stole the top honor in the Crash the Superbowl contest for Kina Grannis.

But even if we weren’t the only ones that helped tip the scales, we sure were proud as parents when we saw her music video during the first half of last Sunday’s big game.

If you happened to miss it because you were too busy stuffing carbs down your gullet, watch the vid now:

Let us all tip our hats to the Kina! Congratulasians on her new record deal!

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Model Congratulasians

January 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Ladies and Gentlemasians, feast your eyes upon 19-year old Seung Hyoni!! This cutie pie rocked the worlds of dozens of stick-legged beauties from around the world by taking the top honor in this year’s Ford Supermodel of the World Contest.

Oh, how we envy her angly arms and bagless eyes! And we’re pretty sure she was the smartest model in the bunch.

Good luck to this little lady! She betta work.

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