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RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan has made a kung-fu movie, Wu-Tang vs. the Golden Phoenix. [New York Magazine]
Six-time Nathan’s Hot Dog eating champion Takeru Kobayashi may not be making the trip to Coney Island this weekend to try to steal the title from defending champ Joey Chestnut. [Consumerist]
The inmates at Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center choreographed a new number to remember Michael Jackson on the first anniversary of his death. [YouTube]
Hiromi Ozaki, a student at The Royal College of Art, has designed a “Menstruation Machine”. Yes, there’s video. [Wired]
Filed under: Anniversary of Michael Jackson's Death, Asian Models, Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Competitive Eating, Dancing Inmates, Dancing Philippine Inmates, Gong Fu, Kung Fu, Michael Jackson, Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, Philippine Prisoners, Photoshop Disasters, RZA, Style Rookie, Takeru Kobayashi, Tao Okamoto, Tavi Gevinson, Wu-Tang Clan
Name: Takeru Kobayashi
Hails from: Japan
Occupation: Competitive Eater
Why He’s a Babe: Wait, wut? Takeru Kobayashi got hot?! Sure, he got pwned (and disowned by certain people) for the 3rd year running in the biggest event of his, er, sport, but he wins when it comes to making his, er, sport appear less repellent, which is no small achievement. Because competitive eating is gross. But Kobayashi’s new Alexander Wang-ish haircut? Kute!
Keep it up, Takeru. The cuteness, we mean, and not so much the throwing up in your mouth.
Competitive eating is gross. And, by extension, so are competitive eaters. These are people who train to stretch the stomach muscle and choke back their own vomit, not to mention lethal amounts of foods that you could sort of see eating in large quantities (until you actually see it done) and foods that make you barf in your mouth just thinking of them, like beef tongue, cow brains, and mayonnaise. What drives a person to achieve that? Why in the world would you take the pleasure away from eating only to replace it with…a stopwatch? What does being the world champ of pounding cabbage, like, do for you? The whole thing is just weird.
I’m willing to rethink my position on this, however, because of one “gurgitator”–even that moniker makes me gag–who’s relatively new on the scene. Her name is Juliet Lee (pictured above and below, with Takeru Kobayashi), she’s only been competing since December 2006, and she scarfed down 23 DOZEN CLAMS in six minutes this past Memorial Day to set a new clam-eating world record (yes, there is such a thing).
Oh, and she’s FUCKING HOT. And I, like everybody else, am unfairly fascinated by gross stuff that hot chicks do (in that way, I’m a dude). She has the face of Michelle Yeoh and a hatefully-teensy waist–she weighs in at 105 lbs.–despite her, um, sport. I don’t even mind that she always seems to be wearing a midriff-baring top like some slutty tween girl who wants to be the first in line to bone a Jonas Brother. I’m sure I’d even find her farts charming.
And Juliet seems kinda normal. She has a college degree in geology from her native China, she owns a hair salon, and she has two adorable daughters. (She also lives in the same Maryland town as Michelle Malkin–love to see that eating contest go down.) Did I mention she’s 42 years old?! She could almost make me forget how demented her sport is, how grotesquely contorted competitive eaters’ faces get when they jam 10 hot dogs in their mouths at once, and how, you know, they eat their own puke. Almost.
Happy birthday to Takeru Kobayashi, who turned 31 this week–despite nearly a decade of competitively stuffing his gullet with Nathan’s hot dogs (and other fine eats), and compromising both logic and his arteries for the good of the people.
Here’s hoping somebody gives this man some vegetables for his birthday! He probably needs it!
To paraphrase a certain saying, those who live by the hot dog, die by the hot dog. (According to IMDB, Orson Welles once ate 18 Pink’s hot dogs at one sitting, and he died of a heart attack.) Yet there was something sad about the dethroning of six-time champ Takeru Kobayashi in the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest yesterday by that awful Seth Myers-character, Joey Chestnut. After scarfing 66 dogs in 12 minutes, setting a new world record, the horse-faced Chestnut wrapped himself in an American flag, like an Olympic sprinter taking a victory lap.
Afterward, ESPN’s gleeful, hours-long drubbing of Kobayashi–who garnered little sympathy pre-competition by publicly claiming he was suffering from a mysterious jaw ailment–felt about as wholesome and fair as picking on a retarded kid. ESPN replayed the clip of Kobayashi puking and then shoving vomit back into his mouth over and over, only to ban the clip this morning. Fucking hypocrites!
I’m not against showing the clip, only the bullying humiliasian that followed. Hope you had a light lunch, because here tis: