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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Lisa Lee And Lynn Chen’s “Thick Dumpling Skin”

February 21st, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

In all of my three decades of life, I have never once been skinny.

Now–before you get all up in my grill with the, “Ohmygawd Diana, you’re NOT fat” words of soothing or the “You bitch, don’t talk to me about not being skinny” words of annoyance, please know that I’m not fishing for compliments, nor complaining about my size, nor stating I’ve never been a healthy, normal weight. I’m just saying, I’ve never been skinny.

But Asian girls are supposed to be skinny, right?

That’s like, the Asian girl thing: “Oh gosh, I just eat and eat and eat but I can’t gain any weight.” And “Urggg–they ran out of size zeros.” And “I was the skinniest person on my softball team in high school and I always hated it.” And “I can’t believe it, Yennie and I both hit three-digit weights over the holidays and we almost died!” Slight frames and narrow shoulders and bony hips and knobby knees and protruding ribs and flat asses and tiny breasts and slender thighs and stick arms. It’s our answer to the world’s Amazon legs and blonde waves and sexy curves. We’re skinny, betches.

Well, some of us.

Are we all meant to look like this?

Then there are the rest of us. We are sized 4, 6, 8, 14, 20. Medium and XXL. We do not eat whatever we want. Our clothes don’t “hang” on us. We cannot fathom wearing thigh-high boots. We have learned to like Diet Coke. We see photos of ourselves at weddings and realize that our arms are the same size as our cousins’ legs. We do not get lifted whimsically in the air by men. We have never liked our knees. We walk into an Asian supermall and watch them shake their heads–Your size we do not carry. We have Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Lisa Lee And Lynn Chen’s “Thick Dumpling Skin”

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Loretta “The Vietnamese Are Coming! The Vietnamese Are Coming!” Sanchez

September 24th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Loretta Sanchez, Blue Dog Dem incumbent representing California’s 47th Congressional District, would like to introduce her new web series*, How To Lose Votes And Alienate People. Here’s the first installation, pulled from a recent interview on Univisión’s Al Punto show:





Well shit, man. If I didn’t know any better, I’d venture that Sanchez’s eyebrows were–with an intensity–trying to cultivate a race war in Orange County. Those eyebrows betta hope this Vietnamese lady doesn’t come across them in a dark alley while packing Tweezerman Luxe Edition Swarovski® Crystal Slant® tweezers anytime soon.  AND THAT IS NOT AN EMPTY THREAT!

*not an actual web series

[via Gawker]
[OC Weekly Blogs: Loretta Sanchez on Univisión: "Vietnamese" Trying to Take Her Congressional Seat Away from Democrats]

Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

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