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Crouching Coldplay, Hidden Rih Rih: “Princess Of China” Video

June 4th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

I was out of town for most of May but I’m baaaaack! And sick in bed. So I have nothing smart to say today about this Coldplay ft. Rihanna video for “Princess of China.” (If you do want a clever breakdown of all the song’s possible meanings, read my pal Molly Lambert’s Grantland post here.) The video’s just a hot mess of Orientalist imagery and a couple of terrifying manicures. And when they start fighting in the air a la Crouching Tiger, I had to laugh. The hurty nose-snort kind of laughter. Because that there was some seriously dorky shit. Like, the white man’s overbite version of kung fu fighting. I’m actually embarrassed for all parties involved:

And what does this song have to do with China anyway?

Never mind. I don’t care. Someone bring me some soup.

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Karaoke Killing’s All the Rage

December 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Prediction: the next stereotype to emerge about Asians, behind us being bad drivers and us eating dog, will be that we kill for karaoke. Last week, a 23 year-old Malaysian man, Abdul Sani Doli, was stabbed to death outside of a karaoke bar in Borneo for…hogging the mic. The Guardian reported this story and claimed that “(k)araoke rage is not unheard of in Asia,” although the writer only cited one concrete example of it actually happening there:

Frank Sinatra’s My Way has reportedly generated such outbursts of hostility that some bars in the Philippines now no longer offer it on the karaoke menu. In Thailand this year, a gunman shot eight people dead after tiring of their endless renditions of a John Denver tune.

In case you believe our own shores are safe from karaoke violence, think again:

In Seattle last year, a woman with an apparent aversion to Coldplay attacked a singer who had just embarked on a rendition of Yellow.

But, to be fair, that incident in Seattle was totally different. Because I was, like, having the WORST DAY. And I was kinda PMS-y. All I wanted to do that night was kick back, have a cold one, and bust with the Steve Perry, know what I mean? Only this douchey metrosexual had to get up on stage, do his drippiest, most emo impersonation of Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow, and harsh my mellow. So I lost it. But I’m sorry, Coldplay does “fucking suck”, okay?

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