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What A Sh*tshow: The CNN/Tea Party Debate

September 13th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

I am a masochist.

For one, I work in television, and a little too much lately at that (hence the recent lack of blogging), which is an industry clearly suffering from a dearth of powerful Asians. In the Golden People’s absence, idiots reign supreme, and proliferate (Remember the idiot assistant of that other ignoramus that couldn’t coordinate your last conference call? He’s now your executive) like zombies.

God help us all

I also watched last night’s CNN/Tea Party Debacle Debate, when I clearly should have been watching Miss Philippines get robbed of the Miss Universe crown instead. What can I say? I love watching that she-devil Michele Bachmann’s hair shimmer in the light.

After all, Bachmann certainly made her mark, making sure to answer as few direct questions as possible and assuring that audiences got a real sense of how Rick Perry has violated hordes of little Texan girls with a “dangerous” HPV vaccine. You’ve gotta hand it to Rick “Lovya Dubya” Perry–he may not know his foot from his head, but he sure knows how to get people scratching their heads… which could, amazingly, get him elected.

Fact is, the show was more a display of theatrics than politics, from the gaudy CNN set to Wolf Blitzer’s ridiculous face, to the candidates’ introductions, to the Perry dogpile, to the overuse of “Obamacare” (like one of Pee-Wee’s secret words), to the sports championship tone of the whole bonanza. I found myself watching the mess as a witness, as if all the loons on the stage were talking about some theoretical country instead of the one I live in, dismissing the needs of this country and cheering for the deaths of uninsured sick people as if such people didn’t exist.

Continue reading What A Sh*tshow: The CNN/Tea Party Debate

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Congratulasians To Efren Peñaflorida, 2009 CNN Hero Of The Year!

November 23rd, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

The people have spoken, and what they have said is that our man Efren Peñaflorida, with his pushcart school, is a hero among heroes. Try not to cry during his acceptance speech:





Perhaps we could all learn something from his tireless efforts and pushcart lessons. Peñaflorida said:

“Our planet is filled with heroes, young and old, rich and poor, man, woman of different colors, shapes and sizes. We are one great tapestry. Each person has a hidden hero within, you just have to look inside you and search it in your heart, and be the hero to the next one in need.”

And right now, from behind our walls of daily snark and selfishness and shame, we kinda believe him.

[CNN: Pushcart Educator Named CNN Hero Of The Year]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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How To Piss Off Dr. Sanjay Gupta: Lazy Mammogram Guidelines

November 18th, 2009 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

Did anybody else catch today’s conversation between CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta and Nurse Lucy Marion from the U.S. Preventive Task Force (the group that released this week’s controversial recommendation that women should begin routine mammograms 10 years later than previously determined, and perform less self-examinations–in order to prevent unnecessary “anxiety” and costly biopsy tests)?

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We don’t have the terse/awkward video, but here’s a transcript of the throwdown:

SANJAY GUPTA, CNN CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: About 75 to 90 percent of breast cancers are found in women who have absolutely no family history and no identifiable risk factors. If you are a woman hearing that at age 40, right now watching, 75 to 90 percent of breast cancers found with people who have no risk factors, no family history, what should they do?

LUCY MARION, PREVENTIVE SERVICES TASK FORCE: I would not recommend it. I would not make a recommendation. We’re saying that the benefits are small.

GUPTA: What do you mean by that? When you say the benefits are small? Let’s not beat around the bush here. What exactly are you trying to say?

MARION: We look at it in various ways. For example, we look at life years gained by the actual screening every year or every other year. And the life years gained for that group is not very large. There are some life years gained. But it’s not very large.

GUPTA: You’re a nurse and…

MARION: And I know…

GUPTA: I don’t want to, you know…

MARION: I am.

GUPTA: … dig ourselves into a whole [sic] here. You’re a nurse, you’re in a profession of healing and compassion.

Are you comfortable with what you’re saying right now? Continue reading How To Piss Off Dr. Sanjay Gupta: Lazy Mammogram Guidelines

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H1N1 for Dummies

September 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


It’s easy to get worried about stuff, especially swine flu, also known as the H1N1 virus, a virus, that’s facing the world, and has been for long time. Swine flu, a virus, also known as the H1N1 virus, is scary, and bad. We don’t know a lot about swine flu, that is, H1N1, but swine flu is a bad virus, and most people do not want to get it, so it seems. It’s important that Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s doctor, is investigating this flu, so that we know more things about it, and find different ways to not get it, and HOLY CRAP DOES ANYBODY PROOFREAD CNN’S FRONT PAGE BLURBS FOR EXCESSIVE COMMAS AND CLUNKY, SIMPLETON, RUN-ON SENTENCES?

[CNN: Dr. Gupta Offers Advice to Parents on H1N1]

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Thanks, Maris and KP!

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Smooth Move, Ex-Lax

August 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Seriously, CNN?


In your next Ticker poll, will you be asking people whether or not grass is still green?

[CNN: Palin's Move Not Smart, Says Poll]

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! 19-year-old Tehran Protest Photographer (Anon.)

June 22nd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Anonymous

Age: 19

Occupation: Student

Hails from: Tehran, Iran

Known for: Sharing images with the world. While walking to Tehran’s Freedom Square for a demonstration Saturday, this young woman and fellow protesters were stopped and beaten by Iranian paramilitary forces. Though she had recently wept over the fallen body of fellow protester and the weekend’s public martyr, Neda, the 19-year-old woman made a risky decision to trick the officer accosting her into believing that she surrendered her digital photos of the protest on a disk. Instead, she escaped with the images and shared them immediately with CNN.

See more of her photographs (and catch repeats of her phone interview) on CNN‘s live news broadcast. A selection of the photos is also available here.

[CNN: Young Woman Describes Beating At Hands of Paramilitary:

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Blocking With Umbrellas-ellas-ellas

June 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Did anybody else see a foiled pre-Tienanmen anniversary report on CNN this week?


Seriously, is there any reason why this plainclothes fuzz display seems uncannily like a choreographed hybrid of Singin’ In the Rain and Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory? I keep waiting for Gene Kelly to come bursting onto the scene, chest full, hands in the air, toes dragging with flair.

Wow. What a number that would be.

[via CNN Video]

Thanks, Chris!

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Rep. John Conyers: Is There Another Doctor in the House?

January 8th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Congressman John Conyers (D-Mich.) has written a letter to his Democratic colleagues in the Hizzle, asking them to oppose Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s nomination for Surgeon General. In the letter, Rep. Conyers wrote that he has “serious concerns” about Gupta’s “requisite experience” and “medical background,” calling the nomination something that is “not in the best interests of the nation.”

We’ve already admitted that we don’t know much about the Office of the Surgeon General. But after a thorough review of Dr. Gupta’s qualificasians (young, handsome, full head of hair, blinding white teeth, Asian) yesterday, we feel pretty durn good about Obama’s choice. So where is this hateration coming from, Representative Conyers?

“Sit your pretty ass down, Gupta!”

Our hunch? Jealousy. Because unlike Dr. Sanjay Gupta, John Conyers…

  1. Is not young (and at 79, is about twice Gupta’s age)
  2. Does not have a full head of hair
  3. Actually remembers Richard Nixon’s presidency
  4. Went to Wayne State and envies Gupta, a fellow Michigan native who went to the University of Michigan, because, c’mon, who wouldn’t rather be a Division I, Wolverine Football fan?
  5. Does not share the same name with a famous Bollywood director
  6. Has a creepy mustache
  7. Could not be played by Kal Penn in his biopic
  8. Does not hang out with celebutards like Lucy Liu and Matthew McConaughey
  9. Has never made People’s Sexiest Men Alive issue
  10. Has never been in close enough proximity to Anderson Cooper to quaff the CNN anchor’s beguiling man-musk

Just a theory!

To read Rep. Conyers’s letter in its entirety, click here.

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Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s Qualificasians

January 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

It was reported this week that CNN’s chief health correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is Obama’s top pick for Surgeon General. We don’t know a whole lot about the Office–according to Wikipedia, it’s gotten rather low-pro and unglam in recent years–but we do come from a long line of doctors (well, Diana does…mine are all the academic kind, i.e. “fake” ones), and here are what we consider Dr. Gupta’s outstanding qualificasians:

  1. He’s young (39 years young)
  2. He’s handsome, enough so to play a doctor on TV
  3. He has all of his own hair
  4. He’s already famous, so he doesn’t need the gig as a stepping-stone to something else
  5. He’s the son of immigrants, so he worked his own way to the top
  6. He has big and blindingly-white teeth
  7. He smiles a lot with those teeth, suggesting a terrific bedside manner
  8. He’s a neurosurgeon, suggesting he actually knows what he’s doing
  9. Kal Penn could totally play him in the biopic
  10. He’s Asian!!!

Dude. Confirm this man…stat!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Phymean Noun

December 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Phymean Noun

Hails from: Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Known for: Seeing a disgraceful situation and doing something to make it better. When Noun realized how many children were scavenging through her city’s trash dumps just to survive, she quit her job and started the People Improvement Organization to provide the area’s underprivileged kids with a free education–fronting $30k her own money to build the first school.

The humble Noun was honored at last week’s CNN Heroes Awards, and even though we were momentarily distracted by her presenter Lucy Liu’s bad teleprompter reading and ill-fitting dress, our icy hearts warmed to flooding tears from the inspirasian of her story. If only we could all give so much!

Find out more about the PIO here.

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It Takes Your Picture

November 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’m not a tech-snob or anything, but…

Shouldn’t a 2008 digital SLR snapper being featured on CNN do something that sounds a little more special? Like nanny your children? Or purify water? Or make Michelle Malkin appear less rodent-like?

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! CNN’s Betty Nguyen

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Betty Nguyen

Hails from: Texas

Occupation: CNN Newsroom weekend anchor

I’ll admit, I find most Asian-American TV news reporters annoying. They’re either plastic surgery nightmares like KCAL 9′s Mia Lee or too fuckin’ perfect like Connie Chung or totally frivolous like the Chenbot. Also, they’re the girls our mothers always compare us with, as in, “Why can’t you be more like (fill-in-the-blank-Asian-lady-reporter)? She’s on TV all the time. She’s very big in the (fill-in-the-blank-Asian-ethnicity) community. And very, very pretty, though she wears a little too much makeup.”

But Friday night, when I got home from a concert and flipped on CNN for Hurricane Ike news, I took a shine to Betty Nguyen, who was reporting from Houston. Well, reporting’s not quite the word. It was more like, being blown about by hurricane-force winds in the middle of the night in a sad-looking, rain-soaked CNN parka while still managing to look spunky and game. I couldn’t reach my parents at the time, because their power–along with over a million others’–was out. And I was a little worried. Watching Betty steady herself and squint through the rain in her eyes that looked like tears, however, I felt weirdly soothed. And I reasoned:

Betty Nguyen is Texasian. So, of course, she’s “staring down” Ike. And she looks goooood, too, even though it’s the middle of the night and she has no makeup on. How does she not have huge bags under her eyes? Bitch. Oh, but she’s so cute. And she’s a Nguyen. Nguyens are Jungle Asians; they’ll fuck your shit up from here to next Tuesday. God, she’s teensy. But she’s not blowing away. So if this 100 lb. chick isn’t blowing away, neither will my parents. Phew! OMG. I love Betty Nguyen. She is such a dope storm-chaser! Hope she didn’t ruin her shoes in that puddle!

And, as it turns out, my parents, like Betty Nguyen, are doing just fine. Does that have anything to do with CNN’s hawt Hapa (Vietnamese-white) reporter staring down the storm? I can’t say fer sure, but I’m willing to believe it!

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