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Okay, who is this Amazian Jr.–a squooshy-cheeked boy lip syncing for his life to Christina Aguilera’s Burlesque track, “Express”–and how can Jen and I recruit him as our mascot?
He may not know all the words to the song. He may not have legs long enough to drape over the top of a chair back. And I can’t say that, watching him go, I didn’t worry that his cute little sequined bum was about to land hard on the floor during most of this routine.
But let us keep our criticisms to ourselves, fellow Hardass Asians! Baby is FIERCE. And he owns a DRESS WITH BOSOM HANDPRINTS on it. A DRESS WITH BOSOM HANDPRINTS. This young buck has more nerve than I ever had at his age–likely more then I ever will have at any age.
And dear, sweet heaven, he can whip his neck like nobody’s business.
Filed under: Amazian Jr., Asian Boy Dancing To Burlesque, Awesome, Burlesque, Chair Dancing, Christina Aguilera, Cute Overload, Dress With Bosom Handprints, Exotic Dancing, I LOVE THIS BOY, Nerve, People Destined To Be The Most Popular Guy In College, YouTube Gems
My oldest sister is a freak. She was born with a totally rad, gigantor rack–like, real puppies, real “girls,” or whatever people with real boobs call their boobs–that I never understood. The three remaining sisters in the family, however… we practically headed up the west coast chapter of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. We were small-chested Asians, and we owned it. Owned it, dammit.
But every once in awhile (like the day I spent on set with Rosario Dawson’s perfect, natural, giant chest all day, and thought: I should probably buy me summa those) I wonder if I’d have a far more enjoyable, gilded life as a big-boobie’d lady. What if? What if?
And other days, like today, I look at all of the big, fat, scary, glandy fat bags suffocating some of Hollywood’s finest…
Filed under: Bizarre Trends, Celebutards, Christina Aguilera, Circus Tits, Elizabeth Hurley, Glandy Fat Bags, Hollywood Epidemics, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, Jodie Marsh, Rosario Dawson, Sibling Rivalry
Dear Christina Aguilera,
Kind of a weird question for you: You aren’t… no… I mean… It just seems like… kinda you’re slowly morphing your look into… no…this isn’t an accusasian or anything but… no…you wouldn’t be doing that… would you?
The New York Post reported yesterday that photographer/director David LaChapelle will never work again with Madonna, Xtina Aguilera, and…guess who?
A source told the Post, “He hates them…Something weird happened the last time he worked with Gwen [ed. note--like the fact that she had four silent enslaved geishas trailing behind her?], and he has cut her out.”
David–I promise never to call you “LaCrapelle” again. In fact, I think we should be friends.