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Lamest Bitchfight Ever: Rihanna Tweets Offensive Pic At Chris Brown’s GF

March 14th, 2012 | 9 comments | Posted by Jen

Earlier this month, Rihanna tweeted a pic of a bag of rice cakes dressed in wayfarers and gold hoops accompanied by the caption “Ima make u my bitch,” which everyone interpreted as her throwing shade at Karrueche Tran, Chris Brown’s current girlfriend, who is of Vietnamese and African American descent.

Some people have asked if this is racist. YES. Yes it is. I think of Rihanna’s legion of young fans who are Asian, and I’m sad for them. I’m sad, too, that Rihanna’s instigating a bitchfight with another woman over a man-child who, um, beat her in the face.

I’m also sad that Rihanna’s eating janky-ass Safeway-brand rice cakes when she should be all over Lundberg organics, and yes, I do think that’s a metaphor for her shitty life choices.

[Rihanna Twitter]
[The Grio: Is Rihanna rice cake tweet a racial slur directed at Chris Brown's girlfriend]

Thanks, D!

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Brush Up, Chris Brown

September 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


If Chris Brown actually doesn’t remember whaling on ex-girlfriend Rihanna in February, he should probably try. Because “like, Wow,” “I don’t know what to think” and “it’s crazy to me” may be statements, but they don’t exactly sound apologetic. Hey, maybe that’s just because he’s foggy on the details.

Y’know what does sound apologetic, though? “I’m sorry.”

[CNN: Chris Brown Says He Still Loves Rihanna]

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Browning Around

March 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

News sources say that President Omar Al-Bashir of Sudan was spotted “smiling, dancing and speaking to a huge crowd of supporters Thursday, a day after a warrant was issued for his arrest on war crimes charges.”

Okay, that’s one way to show humility in the face of abysmal accusations. Sheezus, maybe he and Chris Brown share a gene or something.

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Wow, Chris Brown

March 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Is this what “I’m ashamed about my involvement in a highly publicized domestic violence dispute that allegedly left my girlfriend with a split lip and giant welts all over her face–and can’t believe all of this went down before I’d even been alive for two decades” looks like?

Brown, contemplating his fate in Florida

Hunh. I had no idea.

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The Definition of Bad Timing

February 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Quest Crew

On the same day that TMZ posted a photo taken of Rihanna’s battered face after she was allegedly assaulted by Chris Brown, MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew aired their “Battle of the Sexes” episode, wherein the four remaining teams competed, two all-male and two all-female. In what can only be described as exquisitely poor timing (not to mention taste), the all-male Quest Crew was assigned to dance to Chris Brown’s “Forever,” while the all-female Fly Khicks crew was asked to perform a routine to Rihanna’s “Pon de Replay.” I physically cringed when one of the members of Quest Crew (whom I adore)–in reference to Chris Brown’s MJ-esque footwork–said, quite innocently, “No one does it like Chris Brown.”


You can say that again.

WTF, MTV???

Watch the full episode here.

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This Sucks and Blows

February 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

For the “bong hit heard ’round the world,” Michael Phelps was forced to pay some dues: He apologized. His mom apologized. His bong apologized. His contract with Kellogg won’t be renewed, and in lockstep, Subway almost dropped him as well (Thankfully–now I can still order $5 footlongs when necessary). In order to keep Mazda from pulling their funds as well, the man with the golden stroke was even asked to submit this enthusiastic video apology to his “friends in” (read: all of) China:

Call me a derelict, but am I the only one that thinks all of this nonsense is much ado about bong hit? Phelps has been put through the ringer for a photo he did not pose for, because he was smoking weed (like most of you will do this weekend). I don’t care. I don’t want him to apologize! I want him to go home and polish his medals, and post some pictures of his abs to put up on Facebook.

Meanwhile, Chris Brown and Miley Cyrus stay mum about their recent bouts of questionable behavior, our 43rd President will probably never apologize for his crimes against humanity, and Anne Hathaway shall forever owe the world an apology for her insufferable acceptance speech at this year’s Critic’s Choice Awards.

Seems a bit off to me, but maybe I’m just baked.

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White Bentley Car Chasian

February 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

While most of you who don’t live in Los Angeles were sleeping Monday night, we Angelenos were glued to the set, watching a three-hour, low-speed car chase involving a new white Bentley unfold. The chase began around 8 pm, not long after the driver allegedly assaulted his girlfriend with a deadly weapon in North Hollywood, and wound its way all over the city (on the 101, 5, 10, and 405 Freeways) before ending near its start point, by Universal Studios.

It’s difficult to explain to non-La La residents why car chases–high-speed, low-speed, ones involving stolen U-Hauls–are so compelling. Part of it is that we live in our cars. Part of it is that we live in a sunny “It’s All Good” bubble that is only punctured–and called into question–by calamity, whether it’s by fire, mudslide, earthquake, or car chase. It’s a Didion-esque way of looking at the world; the dream is held together by the underpinnings of disaster.

The White Bentley Car Chase was particularly narrative-friendly, because of the make of the car. Internet rumors quickly spread that the driver was Chris Brown. When the driver finally stopped in Universal City and cameras actually captured his face, the story changed. It wasn’t girlfriend-beater Chris Brown after all, but Miami-based DJ Khaled. So not only was the driver rich, but he was famous, too. How very L.A.

Once the driver stopped, he sat in his car for an hour-and-a-half, surrounded by cops, before shooting himself in the head. He later died at a local hospital.

As it turns out, the driver of the White Bentley was a “businessman of Pakistani origins.” He was probably rich, but he was not famous, until, of course, the few hours before his death. He was not famous until he put a gun to his head in the shadow of the movie studio whose first European production was Fahrenheit 451, a movie about a dystopian future wherein television is killing free thought. He was not famous until his last moments were uploaded a dozen times on YouTube. He was not famous until he shot himself in a $100,000 car, right next to one of the largest Toyota dealerships in L.A., one that promises on its website “to provide you with the car of your dreams.”

How very L.A. indeed.

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Teriyaki Boyz (feat. Pharrell & Chris Brown)

January 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Relax.

Relax…

You are getting very sleepy…

Keep your eyes focused on the colored objects…

Deeper and deeper, just relax.

Deeper and deeper, down you go.

Relax your arms completely.

Eyes on the colored objects. Let your eyes relax. Let them move with the objects.

Pretend you are weightless.

Deeper and deeper…

Deeper and deeper.

More here.

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Thanks, jRu and James!

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