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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Vagina Whitening (That’s Right, You Heard Me)
One year I vacationed in Mexico and spent the entire time in the water, body surfing and boogie boarding. My skin got really dark, which I don’t care about one way or another, though I am afraid of sun damage and skin cancer, in that order. I made one mistake that trip though, and it wasn’t forgetting sunscreen (always, always remember sunscreen). My mistake was going to see my grandmother right after. The first thing she said, once she got over the shock, was “How did you get so dark?!” For the rest of the visit, she introduced me to her friends as “My Granddaughter-Who’s-Normally-Not-This-Dark.”
Light skin is still prized in Asia for a number of reasons that have to do with longstanding notions of race, class, and gender. Good thing then, that there’s a booming market for skin whitening creams, many of them manufactured by Western companies! And good thing the companies who make these creams also make commercials, because quite a few of them–beyond their creepy, disturbing premise–are kinda hilarious.
1. Skin Whitening For Young Girls
There’s this commercial for SkinWhite Teens, produced by Filipino company Splash Corporation, a skin whitening product designed specifically for young girls:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Vagina Whitening (That’s Right, You Heard Me)
Filed under: Advertising, Advertising in Asia, Asia, Asian Obsession with Light Skin, Badvertising, Beauty Products, Bollywood, China, Class Issues, Dark Skin Bias, Dark Skin Prejudice, India, J, Japan, Korea, Lady Bits, Lady Parts, Oppressive Notions of Beauty, Philippines, Pond's, Skin Bleaching, Skin Color Hierarchy, Skin Lightening, skin whitening, SkinWhite, Vagina Bleaching, Vagina Lightening, Vagina Whitening, Vaginal Bleaching, Vaginal Lightening, Vaginal Whitening
DISGRASIAN OF THE SUPER BOWL! Pete Hoekstra’s Racist, Anti-Chinese, “We Take Your Jobs” Ad
Soooo much happened during the Super Bowl. And, no, I don’t mean with the football. That was a lot of low-scoring farting around, too many lame field goals, a last-second Hail Mary not-so-full-of-grace, and supermodel Gisele Bundchen being delightfully, pettily un-super while cameras captured the whole thing. The game itself kinda felt like a bad drunken hook-up with a dude you’re not that attracted to that just won’t end. (Not that I know anything about that. Ahem.)
What I’m really talking about of course is this crazy racist campaign ad that aired in Michigan during the game for U.S. Senate hopeful Pete Hoekstra (R), directed by the same guy who got Christine O’Donnell to publicly confess, “I’m not a witch”:
The ad for Hoekstra–a hot mess of Vietnamese mise-en-scène standing in for China, California Girl-speak poorly disguised as bad Engrish, and some requisite chinky background music–managed to piss off Dems and Republicans alike with its creepy, unabashed Fear of a Yellow Planet storyline. (Though everyone’s favorite race-contrarian Michelle Malkin didn’t seem to mind it. But this is the same person who defended the internment, so, you know.)
And let’s not overlook the website that goes along with the ad! It makes the TV spot look Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE SUPER BOWL! Pete Hoekstra’s Racist, Anti-Chinese, “We Take Your Jobs” Ad
Filed under: 2012 Senate Races, Anti-China Sentiment, Anti-Chinese Sentiment, China, Chysteria, Debbie Stabenow, Fear of a Yellow Planet, Michigan, Michigan Politics, Michigan Senate Race, Pete Hoekstra, They Took Our Jobs, We Take Your Jobs, Xenophobia, Yellow Girl, Yellow Peril, Yellow Terror
Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
Was Chinese TV show Super Girl cancelled because the singing competition (think American Idol) was too vulgar, or because it allowed viewers to vote (how democratic!) for their favorite contestants? [Jezebel]
No iPhone for the ROK! It looks like Samsung is planning to block the release of the iPhone 5 in South Korea. [ars technica]
Modern Family‘s new Lily is cute. We still miss old Lily (even if she always looked like she was about to fall asleep). [Aol TV]
We find it hard to argue with a deity that insists upon the consumption of Chinese food on Christmas (or any holiday really). [reddit]
First Brother-In-Law Konrad Ng–who’s married to Obama’s sister Maya Soetoro- Continue reading Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian
Filed under: China, Honolulu Civil Beat, Intern Jasmine's Links of the Daysian, iPhone, Keanu Reeves, Konrad Ng, Modern Family, Samsung, Smithsonian, Super Girl, television, yomyomf
Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…
As many of you know, I was a cheerleader in high school, and naturally have a soft spot for all things cheerleading. It’s dance, performance and sport in one package, guys. Can’t hate!
But I’ve always been pretty meh when it comes to male cheerleaders. No, I don’t think they’re weenies–quite the opposite. I fully appreciate how instrumental they are in taking cheer stunting and performance to the next level–their strength and athleticism as bases and tumblers totally change the whole game.
But that’s also my issue with cheer dudes. Typically male cheerleaders are extra tough and robot-stiff on the dance floor/field/court/stage… perhaps to prove that, although they do hold megaphones and point a perky “number one” in the air, they’re still swinging big dicks or whatever. They never use pom poms, which are quite possibly my FAVORITE thing cheer has to offer (I challenge you to think of anything happier than a silvery, sassy pom pom!). They wear completely different outfits from their female counterparts, usually primary-hued polyester pants (which is respectable and kind of unavoidable but also violates the uniformity of a squad’s overall look, a result that irks me on an endemic level. I mean, cheer pants?! Whatever!) that suck.
Male cheerleaders can make the argument that they are cheerleaders solely to put their strength and athleticism to work, while getting to shove their hands into the shadowy crevices of the world’s most perfect thighs. But few are on cheer squads to dance and cheer for cheer‘s sake. Not all, but most. And by golly, if somebody’s leading me to cheer, I want it to be for CHEER’S SAKE!
Anyway. The context of my opinion on male cheerleaders is only the tip of the iceberg Continue reading Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…
Filed under: Awesomeness, Cheerleaders, Cheerleading Diversity, China, Chinese Male Cheerleader, Male Cheerleaders, Pants, polyester, Sports, YouTube Gems
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Ai Weiwei’s Pseudo-Sentence Of Silence
Renowned satirical artist and Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei, who disappeared in early April and has been detained under shaky allusions to “economic crimes” by the Chinese government for over two months, has finally been released. After admitting to tax evasian, promising to pay fines, and showing a good attitude in detainment, the outspoken trailblazer is FREE AT LAST.
Free to move freely around Beijing, that is, as long as he notifies authorities every time he leaves the house.
Free, despite the fact that he can’t give interviews, make a peep on social media outlets (with 90k followers, Twitter was a major tool for Ai, who tweeted about disappearing activists, human rights violations, etc. prior to his detainment), or step outside of the city without permission. Though he cheerfully emerged to say hello to reporters and the International community this week, Ai has made it clear that he cannot speak publicly about his investigation or life situation, for “at least a year,” intimating a gag order that authorities won’t confirm.
An activist without a voice? That’s a prison unto itself. Let’s not pretend Ai Weiwei is free when he isn’t.
[via TDB]
[CBS News: Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei free, but silenced]
Filed under: Activists, Ai Weiwei, Artists, Beijing, China, Chinese Government, Dissidents, Gag Orders, This is Bullshit
If You’re A 28 Year-Old Chinese Dude, Now’s The Time For Crimin’
Researchers have discovered that the world’s most “typical face” looks like this:
It’s the face of a 28 year-old Han Chinese man–a composite made from 190,000 photos–based on the fact that 28 is the median age of the world’s population, Han Chinese is the largest ethnic group globally, and men outnumber women. Currently, there are 9 million 28 year-old Han Chinese men in the world.
This may sound suspiciously like a sorta scientific way of saying all Asians look alike, but there’s an upshot!
If you look even a little bit like the dude in the photo, now would be a great time for a career change.
[Yahoo! News: The most typical face on the planet]
Thanks, Josh!
Filed under: 28 Year-Old Han Chinese Man Most Typical, Asians All Look Alike, China, Chinese, Dubious Distinctions, Han Chinese, Most Typical, Most Typical Face in the World, The Chinese Are Taking Over Everything, We All Look Alike
Super Bowl Sunday Hangover: Groupon’s Good Deeds
Guys, seriously, Groupon did a good thing, okay? Because after they aired that Super Bowl ad about Tibetans-being-oppressed-but-who-gives-a-shit-when-we-can-save-money (above), we’re actually talking about Tibet today. And when’s the last time anyone talked about Tibet? At a Bjork concert in 2008? Groupon’s made Tibet hip to talk about again! I mean, sure, talk is cheap, but so are things you buy with Groupons!
Also: Groupon actually aired that ad out of the goodness of their hearts, and are tying the ad to The Tibet Fund, where they’ll match your donations up to $100,000. (Never mind that, by comparison, their Super Bowl spots cost them $3 million.) That’s like giving a dime for every Tibetan who’s died in their political struggle with China over the last 60 years. 10 cents per human life, talk about bargains!
The other good deed Groupon performed? Relegating an ongoing political struggle for self-rule and religious freedom to a “noble cause” in line with whale and rainforest-saving. And we all know that “noble cause” is code for “bumper sticker cause” or “t-shirt cause,” which means we can all buy the bumper sticker or t-shirt for the cause–with a Groupon, I dare hope–and then stop thinking about the noble cause altogether. Oh hell, Continue reading Super Bowl Sunday Hangover: Groupon’s Good Deeds
Filed under: Apathy, Bumper Sticker Causes, China, Coupons, Exploitasian, FAIL #FAIL, Free TIbet, Good Deeds, Groupon, Groupon Super Bowl Ad FAIL, Noble Causes, Oppressed People as Advertising Gimmicks, Savings, Super Bowl, Super Bowl Ads, This is Bullshit, Tibet, Timothy Hutton, We're Talking About People
Male Bonding Is Just Around The Corner
So Buzzfeed tells me that a popular hazing ritual at Chinese Universities–at least according to one Boston student studying abroad–is called Cornering.
Basically, it means that in order to bond with his new college homies, a dude needs to spread his legs, get lifted in the air, and have his special parts rammed against building corners and furniture. Sometimes it’s rough and tough, sometimes it’s warm and fuzzy like in the video below (submitted by the above-mentioned student)–but no matter what it always, always, always includes slamming junk into hard stuff for giggles:
I mean…
I
WILL
NEVER
UNDERSTAND
BOYS.
Filed under: Bizarre Trends, Boys Are Weird, China, College, Hazing, Strange College Rituals, Weird Chinese Behavior
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Liu Xiaobo’s Empty Chair
Nobel Peace laureate and Chinese national Liu Xiaobo, who is currently serving an 11-year prison sentence for “inciting subversion of state power,” was not present at the December 10 ceremony honoring his prize. Nor was his wife, who has been under house arrest since the Nobel announcement and is apparently now missing.
Instead, an empty chair sat on the Oslo stage between the Nobel Committee members, marking the first time a recipient was not physically present to accept the award. And as panel chief Thorbjoern Jagland placed the Nobel diploma on the chair, it was clear Liu’s presence was felt by the 1,000-person audience, who delivered a standing ovation.
The honoree’s final public statement, issued days before his imprisonment and read aloud at the Nobel ceremony by actress Liv Ullmann, included a message (translated here) for his beloved:
If I may be permitted to say so, the most fortunate experience of these past twenty years has been the selfless love I have received from my wife, Liu Xia. She could not be present as an observer in court today, but I still want to say to you, my dear, that I firmly believe your love for me will remain the same as it has always been. Throughout all these years that I have lived without freedom, our love was full of bitterness imposed by outside circumstances, but as I savor its aftertaste, it remains boundless. I am serving my sentence in a tangible prison, while you wait in the intangible prison of the heart. Your love is the sunlight that leaps over high walls and penetrates the iron bars of my prison window, stroking every inch of my skin, warming every cell of my body, allowing me to always keep peace, openness, and brightness in my heart, and filling every minute of my time in prison with meaning. My love for you, on the other hand, is so full of remorse and regret that it Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Liu Xiaobo’s Empty Chair
Filed under: Activists, China, Great Loves, Human Rights, I Have No Enemies, Imprisonment, Liu Xia, Liu Xia Missing, Liu Xiaobo, Liu Xiaobo Empty Chair, Nobel Committee, Nobel Diploma, Nobel Laureates, Nobel Peace Prize, Nobel Peace Prize Winner Liu Xiaobo, Oslo, Political Reform, Standing Ovation, Tears, Thorbjoern Jagland
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The People In The Panda Suits
Pandas are sickeningly cute. But they’re also dumb as fuck. They survive almost entirely on bamboo, which poses all kinds of problems; they frequently kill their young by accident or neglect; and they seem to have something against sex and reproducing more sickeningly-cute-but-dumb-as-fuck panda spawn.
Researchers at the famed Hetaoping Research and Conservation Centre in Sichuan Province, China, have been working their asses off to keep these adorable dummies from disappearing off the face of the planet, and one of their innovations is dressing themselves up in panda suits when it comes time to introduce the real pandas into the wild. To, presumably, get those pandas raised in captivity used to being around other pandas, or something like that?
No idea if it’ll work–the last panda the Hetaoping researchers introduced into the wild, Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The People In The Panda Suits
Filed under: Adorable, Awwwwwww, baby pandas, Bear Hugs, China, Dumb Animals, Endangered Species, FUZZY TUMMY FEELINGS, Giant Pandas, Hetaoping Research and Conservation Centre, Into the Wild, Panda Hugs, Panda People, Panda Suits, Pandas, Pandas Are Dumb As Fuck But We Love Them Anyway, Pandas Are Sickeningly Cute, People in Panda Suits
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Chinese Woman Gets One Year Of Hard Labor For RT
What’s the price of a Tweet?
As Twitter attempts to drum up another round of financing at the valuation of $3 billion, that’s what potential investors want to know.
But for 46 year-old Chinese woman, Cheng Jianping, aka @wangyi09, the price of a Tweet is valued at one year in a labor camp.
Last month, Cheng RT’ed a message (see above) originally posted by her fiance, Hua Chunhui, satirically suggesting that young Chinese nationalists who had been staging recent anti-Japanese rallies should attack the Japanese pavilion at the Shanghai World Expo. They were both arrested not long after on the day they were to be married; Hua was released five days later. That Cheng was sentenced to a year of hard labor without a trial while Hua was not may have to do with the fact that Cheng has gotten into trouble for her social media activity in the past. From the NY Times:
Widely known by the online name Wang Yi, Ms. Cheng is avidly followed by a small coterie of Chinese intellectuals who subscribe to Twitter, which is blocked in China but can be reached by those willing to burrow beneath the government’s firewall. Most recently Ms. Cheng sent out messages praising the decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to the imprisoned rights activist Liu Xiaobo. Last August, she was briefly detained after expressing sympathy for a detained democracy advocate, Liu Xianbin.
While Chinese users of Twitter are subjected to a 140 character-limit like the rest of us, in Chinese, one character equals one word, so the limit roughly translates to 140 words. For this reason, Twitter has become popular in China among political activists.
Counting spaces and punctuation, the Tweet that landed Cheng in a labor camp for a year was 79 characters, which roughly translates to 4.6 days of imprisonment per word.
[NY Times: Chinese Woman Imprisoned for Twitter Message]
[Cheng Jianping on Twitter]
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: @wangyi09, Cheng Jianping, China, China and Twitter, China Censorship, Chinese Labor Camps, Chinese Nationalists, Chinese Re-education Camps, Chinese Twitter Users, Free Cheng Jianping, Fucked Up Shit, Hua Chunhui, Human Rights, Injustices, Microblogging, Political Satire, Price of a Tweet, Satire, Social Media, Social Networking, The Politics of Social Media, This is Bullshit, Tweets, Twitter, Watch Your Words, What Price Twitter?, Woman Sentenced to Hard Labor for Tweet in China
The Chinese Build A 15-Story Hotel In 6 Days But Someone’s Not Impressed
The Chinese have set some kind of new record for efficiency by building a 15-story hotel in only 6 days. Watch this cool time-lapse video to see how it was done:
The Ark Hotel, in the city of Changsha, was constructed with all prefab materials and is soundproofed, thermal-insulated, and reportedly capable of withstanding a magnitude 9 earthquake. The construction workers who put it together worked until 10 pm every night, and none were injured in the building process.
To me, this hotel is the paragon of Asian-ness, in its show-off-y efficiency–it was prefab, inexpensive, quickly-built, and generated only 1% construction waste–but I happen to know one Asian person who’s not so impressed by it.
That is Hardass Asian Parenting to the core!
Oh yeah, you built a building in 6 days? SOFA KING WUT? And, while we’re on the subject, why couldn’t you do it in 5?!
[Yahoo News: Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days]
Thanks to my Hardass Asian Daddy!
Filed under: 15 Story Hotel Built in 6 Days, Asians Hate Wastefulness, Building Feats, China, Chinese Build 15 Story Building in 6 Days, Efficiency, Hardass Asian Daddies, Hardass Asian Dads, Hardass Asian Fathers, Hardass Asian Parents, How To Impress Your Hardass Asian Parents--Oh Wait You Can't, Impossible Feats, Rapid Expansion, Records, Waste Not Want Not
