DISGRASIAN™

Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s Qualificasians

It was reported this week that CNN’s chief health correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is Obama’s top pick for Surgeon General. We don’t know a whole lot about the Office–according to Wikipedia, it’s gotten rather low-pro and unglam in recent years–but we do come from a long line of doctors (well, Diana does…mine are all the academic kind, i.e. “fake” ones), and here are what we consider Dr. Gupta’s outstanding qualificasians:

1. He’s young (39 years young)
2. He’s handsome, enough so to play a doctor on TV
3. He has all of his own hair
4. He’s already famous, so he doesn’t need the gig as a stepping-stone to something else
5. He’s the son of immigrants, so he worked his own way to the top
6. He has big and blindingly-white teeth
7. He smiles a lot with those teeth, suggesting a terrific bedside manner
8. He’s a neurosurgeon, suggesting he actually knows what he’s doing
9. Kal Penn could totally play him in the biopic
10. He’s Asian!!!

Dude. Confirm this man…stat!

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Filed under: Barack Obama, Children of Immigrants, CNN, Doctors, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Kal Penn, Sanjay Gupta, Surgeon General, Surgeon General Nomination, TV Doctors

A Fly in the Anointment

It’s official: Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has been anointed–37 months ahead of the Iowa Caucuses–the “Republican Obama.” In a Washington Post article that cites Jindal as the next Great Brown Hope, tax-hating, Bush-loving conservative Grover Norquist explains why the Right is stoked to have the 37 year-old, first-generation Indian-American on their team:

“As Republicans, you have a real problem now with younger voters and immigrants. If you were going to central casting for a candidate to deal with all that, who do you have? Jindal. He is young, and he looks young…He’s a great communicator. And his record is that he’s sharp and quick with policy.”

And it’s true! Jindal is young, brown, the child of immigrants, and has a delicious way of speaking. And since we, too, are young, brown, and the children of immigrants, I guess that means we’re voting for Jindal in 2012! Woohoooooooooooo!

But wait. Not so fast. The Washington Post also reported on Jindal’s stance on social issues, which is decidedly not young:

• steadfast opposition to abortion without exceptions
• disapproval of embryonic stem cell research
• his and his wife Supriya’s decision in 1997 to enter into a Louisiana covenant marriage that prohibits no-fault divorce in the state
• his decision in June to sign into law the Louisiana Science Education Act, a bill heartily supported by creationists that permits public school teachers to educate students about both the theory of “scientific design” and criticisms of Darwinian evolutionary concepts

And if Jindal wants to be the Republican Obama, he’s going to need to capture the youth vote, and these days, young people simply aren’t kickin’ it old skool with social conservatism. Which means Bobby Jindal has about 37 months to get a brand new steez.

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Filed under: Anointed, Anti-Choice, Bobby Jindal, Bobby Jindal 2012, Children of Immigrants, Conservatives, Governor Jindal, Grover Norquist, Louasiana, Louisiana, Republicans, The Young and the Ethnic