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Never been a big fan of Charice. Those big pipes just didn’t fit such a little dimply pipsqueak and the whole package gave me a certain vertigo. But she’s grown up a lot, as you can see here:
There’s something chilling about this. Not because it’s so damn good–though that it is–but because Charice is 19 going on 20, the same age as Whitney when she signed with Clive Davis and Arista Records. When I chewed on that fact a little, the phrase “ships passing in the night” popped in my head. I didn’t remember that the phrase originated in a Longfellow poem until I looked it up, but it’s eerily appropriate:
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
RIP Whitney. Without your voice, there’s darkness, and then silence.
Thank you, @BasseyworldLive
Filed under: Asian-American Singers, Charice, Charice Pempengco, Charice Whitney Houston Tribute, Child Prodigies, Divas, Filipinas, Filipino Entertainers, I Have Nothing, I Will Always Love You, RIP Whitney Houston, Singers, Whitney Houston
Hails from: Bangalore, India (via Bihar and Patna)
Known for: Efficiency. Long recognized as a child prodigy (he completed high school by age 9, received a Bachelors degree at 10, and completed his Masters at 12), Tulsi–now just 21 years old–has just completed the six-year Physics doctorate program at the Indian Institute of Science (IISc) in Bangalore to become one of the world’s youngest scientists. He is now potentially the youngest PhD in India. This basically means that he has successfully lived the collective wet dream of Jen’s and my fathers, making us seem all the more disappointing for pursuing careers in the liberal arts at an average American pace (Thanks, buddy!).
Worse Better still, Tulsi adds to the honorableness of his record achievements by humbly crediting his parents, saying, “I feel very lucky that I got proper environment in terms of my family members, particularly my father. He did his best to encourage my talent.”
Golly, we’d have to hate the kid if he wasn’t so freakin’ awesome. And accomplished. And adorable. And brilliant.
Man oh man did watching Yo-Yo Ma at Tuesday’s inauguration–rocking his cello with a look of pure joy on his face and the nimblest of fingers despite freezing temperatures–make me wish I hadn’t quit every musical instrument I had ever picked up.
Violin at the age of 6, because my parents could only afford to buy one for me and my older brother, and it was too long for me and hurt my arm. Piano at 11, because we moved and sold our upright (not that I minded one bit). Oboe at 17, after 6 years, because I was never really that good at it anyway. And guitar a few years back, after only 3 months of lessons, after I sliced off the fleshy tip of my left pinkie chopping onions for a shepherd’s pie.
At least I’ve still got Guitar Hero. I’ll never quit you, fake plastic guitar!
We suppose you can’t fault Michelle Wie for being ambitious. Coming off a much-discussed disqualificasian for not signing her scorecard at the State Farm Classic Saturday, the 18 year-old golfer will be playing with the big boys next week in the Legends Reno-Tahoe Open. It will be Michelle’s eighth time playing on the PGA Tour.
Frankly, we’re worried. A year ago, after she bailed on a few tournaments, we wondered if Michelle wasn’t fast becoming the Anna Kournikova of golf. A whole lotta sizzle but no steak. And now that she’s an adult, no one’s impressed anymore by her merely showing up. We love to see a woman competing against men, but girlfriend’s got to brang it. Otherwise, it’s just another tired old–yes, old–bid for attention.
We gotta admit. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, released last weekend, is pretty good. We love playing songs by bands we hate, like “My Name is Jonas” (Weezer) and “Cherub Rock” (Smashing Pumpkins), and, yes, Metallica’s “One” is kicking our asses on Expert. We’re also into the fact that we can “buy” Tom Morello and Slash on GH III instead of Xavier Stone, the black character, as we had to in previous versions of the game.
And, we finally got what we had wished for all these months we’ve been playing: an Asian Guitar Hero. Her name is Midori and her bio states that she is “both sweet and sour” and a child prodigy classically trained on violin. Grrrrrrrrrrreat! As you all know, we love prodigies. And we are sweet and sour. So we were totally stoked. Until we got a gander at our Japanese guitar heroine.
The best thing Midori, our anime-schoolgirl-hooker-heroine, has going for her is her wardrobe. Here she is in her “Mount Fuji-inspired” outfit:
Happy 36th Birthday to Midori Goto, one of the leading concert violinists in the country, founder of American and Japanese non-profits Midori & Friends and Music Sharing, and Angelino. You may be stepping further away from your years as a child music prodigy, but don’t be too upset–hell, it happens to all of us.
Normally, Diana and I are above disgracing children. Child prodigies, in particular, because, first of all, we love a prodigy and wish we had been one ourselves, and second, it’s clear that they already have enough pressure in their lives, especially if you throw in a Hardass Asian Parent or two. But Michelle Wie is three months shy of 18, so we’ve decided to try her ass as an adult.
Kidding! We’re not totally heartless. But, in light of recent events, we feel that what Michelle really needs is some big sisterly tough-love.
You’re talented, smart, and gorgeous. If we were the same age, or in the same town, or chugging beers at the same Stanford keg party, I would hate you. Daggers would be shooting from my slanty eyes in your lofty direction. Thank goodness I’m four years older than you. Okay, maybe a little older. Alright, a lot–but I digress.
Last weekend, when you pulled out of the U.S. Women’s Open after sucking all over the green, citing a wrist injury, the media was not so kind. Here’s a glimpse of some of the headlines I read after your withdrawal:
“Wie and Adu: Has-beens before their prime?”
“Wie’s woes: the year from hell”
“Do they learn nothing from sad decline of Wie?”
“What Is Michelle Wie Doing Out There?”
Ouchers. Why is everyone so pissed at you, you wonder? Allow me to introduce a timeline.
2002-2004 – You become the youngest player to qualify for an LPGA event, the youngest player to make the cut at an LPGA event, and the youngest player to play in a PGA event with the big boys. Ah, first love.
2005 – Is a banner year. You turn pro, place second at the LPGA Championship, and Nike throws millions at you. Life is, like, so rad!
2006 – In July, you play with the boys in the PGA John Deere Classic, but withdraw after the 9th hole, citing heat exhaustion. But was it the heat that got to you, or the fact that you weren’t going to make the cut? Either you were really dehydrated or a really huge drama queen, but you’re taken off the course on a stretcher.
But who cares about all that golf nonsense when Forbes ranks you 74th out of 100 Top Celebutards, and your earnings reach $17 mil, one milsky for each year of your young life?
2007 – You take four months off because of wrist injuries. Is this from too much texting, perhaps? Or too much time counting your millions? You return from rehabbing to play in the LPGA’s Ginn Tribute, a tournament hosted by Annika Sorenstam. But then you suck all over the place, shooting 14 over-par through 16 holes, and withdraw, saying you “tweaked” your wrist again. You’re seen practicing, however, two days later, prompting Annika to say that your withdrawal showed “a lack of class.” You refuse to apologize.
Um, Bad Idea Jeans.
For the U.S. Women’s Open, the second tournament you play in since the Sorenstam debacle, a 12 year-old upstart named Alexis Thompson qualifies.
While you withdraw from the tournament because of your wrists, 8 Korean golfers make it to the top 10 of the tourney. “Seoul Sister” Angela Park places second, and, in action, kind of looks like…
Sports writers declare that you are over at 17, and, worse, that they’re “rooting against” you.
Here’s where DISGRASIAN’s big sisterly advice comes in. Take the summer off and build up those wrists again. Do not go to events unrelated to golf–focusing on your looks instead of your game is a career killer (just ask Anna Kournikova).
Go to Stanford. Rush a sorority or something (I can’t believe I just wrote that). Drink too much Hitachino White Ale or, um, whatever the young ones are drinking these days. Instead of competing with boys, make out with a few. Girls, too. There’s nothing quite like a lesbian lip-lock to defuse a bitchfight. Practice your ass off when no one’s looking.
wishing you love, flowers, and birdies,
Jen and Diana