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Later, Lakers

May 11th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

Today, the great Phil Jackson announced that he has completed his final season at the helm of the Lakers. In a press conference held so that the man who has won 2 NBA championships as a player and 11 as a coach could properly bid farewell to LA fakers fans, he talked about pursuing adventures outside the NBA:

“That’s always something to get over. But one of the things I watch in my days with my coaches was there was a point, and I’m about at that point, where you either move on or stay in it, you never break away from it and it becomes the rest of your life. I always kind of thought that I’d like to do something beyond just the basketball coaching.”

For those of you how don’t speak bball, I offer you this translasian:

“I am so EFFIN SICK of sneaker squeak and 7-foot-tall children and buzzers and fluorescent lights. I’m tall. I’m rich. I rule. Time to kick it in Lake Cuomo with Clooney, know what I mean?”

He also talked briefly about his less-than-ideal swan song with the team, a second-round shutout by the Dallas Mavs:

“I’m always relieved when a season’s over,” he said. “This team just had an ability to get in a funk and not be able to resurge and find a common thread and turn things around. I never really had a team like that that couldn’t make adjustments and learn from mistakes.”

TRANSLASIAN:

“We got SWEPT by DALLAS, dude. WT fuckin F! I can’t deal with these dicks or this kind of shame ever again.”

[ESPN: No plans to return for Phil Jackson]

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

February 22nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana


Name:

Age: 27

Hails from: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.

Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

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