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Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots
UK’s Telegraph is reporting that Lindsay Lohan could be blacklisted from visiting India due to a visa fudge during her highly (self-)publicized trip to film a BBC documentary. Apparently her tweets weren’t only annoying to us.
From the Telegraph:
“The Mean Girls star had arrived in India to film an expose of child labour and trafficking of women which was later broadcast on BBC3, but she provoked a row when she claimed to have personally rescued 40 children.
In a series of updates on the social networking site Twitter, she boasted of her role in a daring raid on a child labour sweatshop and claimed the experience had changed her life….
…Now she may not be able to visit India again after officials looked at her case and found she had failed to apply for a work visa for her trip.“
Filed under: BBC, Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, Crawl In A Hole Already Lindsay, Documentaries, Doing Good, Idiots, India, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, More Harm Than Good, Real-Time Documentation Of Yourself Breaking The Law, Thanks For The Effort, Twitter, Visa Problems, Whoopsieeee
BREAKING NEWS!!! Tila Tequila Is A Twitter Quitter
Holy shit. TILA HAS STOPPED TWEETING.
Wait. That’s not breaking news. That’s not even news!!! What the fuck is wrong with us? Maybe we’ve been watching too much CNN these days or something.
(Proceeding to flog selves)
[E!: Tila Tequila Turns Off Twitter]
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Finally, Internet Omnipresence, Shut It Down, Social Networking, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Cancels Twitter Account, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Tila Tequila Twitter
Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was reported dead at age 30 yesterday, a news story that gained traction because the socialite had recently captured headlines, as the affianced to Tila Tequila and one-third of a love triangle with Courtenay Semel.
Casey Johnson and Tila Tequila
As soon as the news broke, readers realized quickly that Johnson’s death–which must have come as a painful shock to her family (father is NY Jets owner Woody Johnson) and lifelong friends–was overshadowed in the headlines by her fledgling ties to Tequila.
Continue reading Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Filed under: Casey Johnson, Casey Johnson Dies, Casey Johnson Heiress, Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Death, Death as a Career Opportunity, Fucked Up Shit, Publicity Stunts, Sad, Thinking Publicly, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Woody Johnson
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Moby The Dirty Gaijin
Oh Moby, you-touchy-feely-techno-vegan-China Hand, you.
Gaijin = Foreigner. In Japanese.
Dirty laowai would have been “ironic.”
Not to mention less “idiot”-ic.
(I suppose.)
Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Cultural Awareness, Dance Music, Foreigners, Gaijin, Irony, Isn't It Ironic?, Laowai, Mistasian Identity, moby, Sensitive Boys, Techno, The 90's, Twitter
Tila Tequila Comes Out (Again)
Tila Tequila’s come out again!
No more pickles for Tila!
The girl who began her career catering to straight dudes too cheap to buy their own porn, then graduated to bisexuality just in time to premiere–what else?–a bisexual dating show, has come out as a lesbian, as she announced on Twitter this week.
Continue reading Tila Tequila Comes Out (Again)
Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Coming Out, Drive-Bis, Drive-Bisexuality, Puppet Fuckers, Sexual Orientation, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Comes Out as Lesbian, Tila Tequila Social Networking Site, Tila Tequila Twitter
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila’s Alter Ego, “Jane”
At what point can we say that Twitter’s jumped the shark? When your boss joins? When your mom joins?
How about when your alter ego starts Tweeting, as was the case yesterday with Tila Tequila?
The Twitter account of Tila, who has professed to suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka Multiple Personality Disorder), was hijacked briefly Monday by one of her alters, “Jane.” Tila’s describes Jane on her MySpace page as “crazy” and someone who “always wants to kill me.”
(Then again, after the Twitter-jacking, she also called Jane her “Sasa Fierce” [sic] and boasted that she had her alter ego 10 years before Beyoncé “came wit that,” so, uh, Jane also appears to be a career asset.)
And what else did we learn about Jane yesterday?
Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila’s Alter Ego, “Jane”
Filed under: Alter Egos, Celebrity Twitterers, DISGWITTER, Dissociative identity Disorder, I Am... Sasha Fierce, Jumping the Shark, Multiple Personality Disorder, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Alter Ego, Tila Tequila Jane, Tila Tequila Twitter
Imperfect, Indeed
Mariah exclusively announced the name of her new album today on Twitter, which is slated to be called Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.
Frankly, we figured after all of our helpful comments regarding her last record, the new LP would have been dedicated to us, and maybe even called DISGRASIAN is the Bestest Blog Ever–but no dice. WTF!?!?
Overall, though, we’re just glad she didn’t follow up E=MC² with a rekkid called U Hotter Than Quantum Theory, Lamb. Or Memoirs of a Hot Geisha. “Glad,” by the way.
Additional note: Think we’re wrong to judge Ms. Carey on her brains? Try “reading” her tweets (if your brain starts to hurt, stop) and we’re sure you’ll feel differently.
[Mariah Carey on Twitter]
Filed under: Announcements, Bad Spellers, Celebrity Twitterers, Inscrutable, Mariah Carey, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, New Album Out Soon, Really Dumb People
Too Much Twittering Turns You into an Unfeeling Douchebag
Scientists at USC have found that too much Twittering and exposure to streaming news bulletins and information on social networking platforms inures people to pain and suffering.
“If things are happening too fast, you may not ever fully experience emotions about other people’s psychological states and that would have implications for your morality,” said researcher Mary Helen Immordino-Yang.
In other words, Twitter turns you into a self-centered d-bag. Considering the popularity of celebrity blowhards like Shaq, Ashton Kutcher, and Tila Tequila on Twitter, the science is probably sound.
But doesn’t this also seem like the digital age’s version of “Heavy Metal Records Make You Kill Yourself,” and won’t it drive more kids to Twitter who are looking for a way to give the finger to Mom and Dad? Like, “Give me Tweeting, or give me death”? Boy is that a depressing thought.
Unless those kids sign up for Twitter and follow us. Then, you know, it’s all good, said self-centered d-bags Jen and Diana.
Filed under: Ashton Kutcher Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Shaq Twitter, Social Networking, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter, Twitter Is The New Black, Twitter Teenage Rebellion
Dear Tila Tequila’s Stalker
Early Monday morning, an obsessed Tila fan allegedly broke into her home while she was out, locked her dog Onyx in her car, smashed up her living room, and hacked into her Twitter account, posting, “Tila Tequila is dead” and “I just broke into her house, killer her and her dog. Logged onto Twitter to tell you guys. She was signed on already. Tila Tequila is dead.” Later, around 4 am, Tila logged onto Twitter to reassure her fans that she was, in fact, alive.
No news yet on whether they’ve caught her stalker, but we have a few words for this person…
Dear Stalker,
Duuuuuude. Stalking is so not cool. But stalking Tila Tequila? That means that not only are you one wack sicko but YOU ALSO HAVE ZERO TASTE. And why in the world would you lock her poor pup in the trunk of her car?
Tila and her dog, OnyxAre you trying to make us feel sympathy for this chick? Because it’s working. And that freaks us the fuck out. That is just…wrong. So stop it. Seriously.
sincerely,
DISGRASIAN
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Obsessed Fans, Stalkers, Tila Tequila Dead, Tila Tequila Onyx, Tila Tequila Stalker
Tila Protects Herself Before She Wrecks Herself (Again)
Y’all, I’m pretty sure the world is coming to an end, because I was just over on Twitter when I discovered this:
Tila Tequila’s protecting her updates?! As in, she’s keeping some of her shit to herself for a change? I’m not sure if this signals that pigs can fly and hell’s frozen over, but I like it.
Filed under: Attention Whores, Celebrity Twitterers, Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, Drive-Bis, Playing It Safe, Protected Twitter Sex, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila Protects Twitter Updates, Tila Tequila Twitter
"Ladies" Who Lunch
Tila Tequila and Meghan McCain finish lunchat Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, March 28
TILA: Me too! Thanks for buying lunch.
MEGHAN: Well, you said you couldn’t find your wallet.
TILA: Oh! Um, yeah!
MEGHAN: Um, you’re welcome.
TILA: You have a lot of dough though, right? I mean your mom’s totally loaded.
MEGHAN: Well I don’t really like to talk about money.
TILA: Oh. Why?
MEGHAN: I’ve always heard it’s kinda tacky. Kinda like talking smack about your dad’s first family when they’re not around to defend themselves. Not like my mom does that or anything.
TILA: Hunh.
MEGHAN: Hunh.
TILA: Hey, did you buy your boobs?
MEGHAN: Excuse me?
TILA: God, you must have bought really expensive ones. They’re so real, it completely looks like it’s all real fat in there.
MEGHAN: Er, yeah, my breasts are real.
TILA: Oh my gaw! Praise the lawd Jesus! I love ‘em! You’ve got awesome tits, girl.
MEGHAN: Thank you. Everybody loves my boobs.
TILA: I just want to stuff my face in them and then make out with your thighs for my vlog. And then take you home to meet my parents.
MEGHAN: I, uh, okay.
TILA: And gaw, I’m like, just so glad we hooked up on Twitter! Ha… you can actually say “I hooked up with Tila Tequila… on Twitter.”
MEGHAN: Yeah… I… could?
TILA: It’s just that when I found that you like, fully looked up to me, I just sooooo wanted to like, reach out, like to a little sis or an um, like, rabid fan, or whatever. I can’t believe you’re my rabid fan! I love that!
MEGHAN: Oh girl, I love you. But I don’t know if you could call me a “rabid fan,” per se. It’s not really like that. I just think it’s cool that you–
TILA: Make out with chicks.
MEGHAN: Well, not–
TILA: Have beautiful, big tits.
MEGHAN: I mean–
TILA: Hate the gooks.
MEGHAN: You–wait, what?
TILA: You wanna “If You Seek Amy!” Girrrrl!!!
MEGHAN: Um, Tila, I think I might just going through a rebellious stage. I hate my parents. My mom’s a robot.
TILA: Mine too!
MEGHAN: That’s awesome.
TILA: I know. So annnyways, when I realized we were going to lunch, I was like, we’re gonna dress all ladylike, right? So I’m gonna wear a little black dress and my classiest stilettos! And then I was all like, ohmigosh. Pearl necklace. I’ve gotta wear a pearl necklace!
MEGHAN: Are those… pearls?
TILA: Well, I mean, kinda! Anyway, pearl necklaces are like my favorite thing. If you know what I mean! [snorts]
MEGHAN: Yes, I think I do. Hey, not to get or technical or anything, but I think those balls on your necklace are more accurately meant to appear “pearl-like.”
TILA: [suddenly emotional] Girl, don’t hate.
MEGHAN: What??
TILA: Are you being a hater?
MEGHAN: I… I’m sorry, what?
TILA: I have suffered so much hardship in my life already. And when you’re on top [snorts], people just want to take you down. They wanna be haters! And I say, fuck the haters!
MEGHAN: Tila, I’m not… I’m not hating.
TILA: Fuck the haters! Don’t be a hater! Don’t breaka my stride, girl! Don’t hate!
MEGHAN: I just spent two-hundred bucks on lunch. Why would I hate?
TILA: Girl, don’t talk about money. That’s just tacky.
MEGHAN: I just told you that!
TILA: Bitch, please! [whips out Blackberry]
MEGHAN: What are you doing?
TILA: I’m tweeting this.
MEGHAN: Oh my fucking God. You’re like a goddamn Twitter addict!
TILA: Yeah, I twitter a lot, ho! Right now I’m saying that you’re a cunty, money-grubbing, hater bitch. Should show up on your phone in a second. Oh, and now I’m saying that you take the Lord’s name in vain.
MEGHAN: Oh my god, you’re a full-on psycho.
TILA: Right now I’m tweeting that you’re a full-on psycho.
MEGHAN: I hate you.
TILA: I didn’t vote for your dad.
MEGHAN: Who cares? Neither did I!
TILA: I’m tweeting that.
MEGHAN: AUGHHHHHHH! [exits]
[Us Magazine: Meghan McCain Goes to Lunch With MTV's Tila Tequila]
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Addiction, Boobs, Celebrity Twitterers, Chateau Marmont, Circus Tits, Drive-Bis, Haterasian, John McCain, Lunch, Meghan McCain, Odd Couples, Rebellion, Shameless Photo Ops, Tila Tequila, Twitter
Twila Twequila
Tila Tequila Twitters. A lot. She joined less than two weeks ago and has already posted over 500 updates and has 67,000+ followers at last count. She claims not to have a ghost Twitterer microblogging for her, but she also claimed to be bisexual just in time for–tada!–her bisexual dating show on MTV, so make of that what you will.
That said, Tila’s Twitter feed is her most interesting work to date. Here are the top ten things I’ve learned from “Twila”:
- She has a crush on David Lynch.
- She takes Ambien/Lunesta to sleep, and when she runs out of pills, Nyquil.
- She’s really pissed at Rihanna for not being a “better role model” and for “partying.”
- She’s been studying quantum physics “for many years.”
- She’s a conspiracy theorist.
- The “biggest celebrity douchebag asshole” she’s ever met is Jared Leto, whom she calls “a self-absorbed cunt.”
- She is BTF (Best Twitter Friends) with Meghan McCain (@McCainBlogette).
- She is always LOL.
- Her idols are “Kathryn of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth, Joan of Arc and Tupac Shakur.”
- The only person she really hates in the world is Nadya Suleman, aka Octomom, because of the way that “hoebag…smiles when paparazzi’s are swarming her.”
See what I mean? Pretty entertaining stuff. Who knows if a word of it is true, except for the part about Jared Leto being a cunt. That I would never dispute.
Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, David Lynch, Jared Leto, Meghan McCain, Microblogging, Quantum Physics, Rihanna, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter
