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Pogonomaniasian

April 8th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I know I’m gonna be in the model minority here, but there’s something different about these two wacktors. They’re looking better than usual:


Maybe it’s the beard-fest (yummers…so scruffy), but maybe it’s the Toyota logo. Suddenly Reeves and Brody seem practical, reliable, intuitive, smooth-riding, fuel-efficient, streamlined, forward-thinking, and aesthetically pleasing, for a reasonable price.

Hunh.

Source

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Nice Tatas

March 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Automobile God,

Please, please, please, please, please send me one of the new, teeny-tiny Tata Nano cars, which debuted in Mumbai this week.


I know that I accidentally killed my iPod Nano by drunkenly irresponsibly dropping it into a crevice of my car–where it was later crushed beyond recognition by a moving part. But I’m different now! I am ready to take care of something cute and crushable, for real this time.

If I got a Tata Nano, I would love it, clean it, cuddle with it, give it fresh fuel every day. Ooh! And I would cawess its wittle steewing wheel and tell it how adowable it is, all the time! I would bring it to meet other wittle Nanos, and they could woll awound together. I would give it a name, like “Dano,” so that it could be known as “Dano,” The Wee Nano. What a sweet, sweet, wittle baby Nano I would waise!

I realize that these darling cars are in high demand, but I hope you can find a way to bestow one upon me. I prayed to the Technology God once, and he or she gave Jen an iPhone 3G. But I promise if you answer this request, I will pray to you more than once. Maybe three times!

Thanks in advance, and I can’t wait to get my Nano.

Love,
Diana

[LA Times: India's Tata Motors Unveils the World's Cheapest Car]

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…But My Car Looks Like Ellen Burstyn

October 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A recent study of what human traits and qualities people see and like in cars has come out, and it has concluded that men and women both prefer cars to look “dominant, masculine and angry.” Cars like the BMW 5 rated highest for its “power” traits, and “power” cars tended to be “lower,” “wider,” and have “slit-like” headlights. In other words, people want their cars to look like this:


Source

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Ford Suck

June 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dudes, why the hell are you driving an American compact car??? My dad is really ashamed of you. Like really, really ashamed.

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Tell Us How You Really Feel

April 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Some devoted DISGRASIAN readers have sweetly asked us why we don’t post comments. We have our reasons, but rather than give you a long-winded explanation, I’m just going to publish the comments I found today on autoblog.com that were allegedly pertaining to one of Chinese automaker Geely’s new prototypes, to be unveiled in Shanghai this week:


2. Chinese people don’t have a soul.

Posted at 5:40PM on Apr 16th 2007 by GOD

7. Its like the Chinese designers don’t even copy the original cars, they copy the toy version of the car. So it comes out looking like a lumpy retarded version of the original.

Disgusting.

Posted at 6:11PM on Apr 16th 2007 by LUMPY RETARDS MUST DIE

15. I didnt even know chinese made cars, thought that was japans job, who knew.

Posted at 7:36PM on Apr 16th 2007 by THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE TO ME

22. …We discounted the Japanese and laughed at the Koreans when they first started. Don’t make that same mistake with the Chinese.

Posted at 12:50AM on Apr 17th 2007 by RUNNING FOR THE HILLS FROM THOSE SLANTY-EYED INVADERS

(all names have been changed for purposes of anonymity)

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White Hooker Boots and Automobiles Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

April 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Shanghai Auto Show kicked off Sunday and will continue through the rest of the week. I don’t know the first thing about cars, but I do know WHITE HOOKER BOOTS WILL ABOUND.

Check out these photos, taken from the first two days of the show, if you don’t believe me:



(all photos found on Flickr, taken by “Shanghai Sky”)

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CONTEST! Vote For Your Favorite Disgrasianmobile

March 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

1) The Honda Element:

2) The Scion (Toyota) xB:

3) The Nissan Cube. Not yet available in the States:

Okay, I lied. There is no contest. If your eyes aren’t bleeding after looking at these three cars, you are a WINNER.

Source: Honda, Scion, Nissan

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