You are currently browsing posts tagged with Canadiasians

This Guy Loves Hockey Almost As Much As He Loves F*cking Shit Up

June 16th, 2011 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you news of hockey. Yes, hockey! A sport that people still watch, care about, and even majorly fuck shit up over!

To wit: After the Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins Wednesday, hundreds of angry fans in the city of Vancouver went Vancuckoo, rioting, setting cars on fire, and sending 150 people to the hospital for treatment. Nine police officers were injured in the melee, and some officers, according to police chief Jim Chu, suffered “bite marks.” Eesh.

Who knew Canadians even rioted?

For that matter, who knew Asian Canadians rioted?

Sometimes, I prefer when stereotypes go unchallenged.

[via @YourChineseMom]

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Thanks, Eukadanz!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Marshall Zhang, The Kid That May Have Cured Cystic Fibrosis

May 17th, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Marshall Zhang

Age: 16

Hails from: Toronto, Canada

Occupation: Student, as in, um, HIGH SCHOOL student

Known for: Possibly discovering a cure for Cystic Fibrosis–or at least laying the groundwork for a breakthrough.

Lemme ‘splain how this went down. Okay, so like me, Marshall Zhang took AP Bio his sophomore year and thought it totally badass.

Alas, this is where our paths diverge: My junior year (it was awhile ago but I still remember quite clearly) I enrolled in Physics and AP Chem, quickly realized I have no place in the elegant world of natural sciences, dropped AP Chem, doodled my way to a B+ in Physics, decided to begin compiling a bitchin’ record collection, declared that “music is my science,” you can figure out the rest.

Zhang decided he needed more than school could offer and asked every professor listed as biochemistry faculty at the University of Toronto if he could work in their labs. Every one said no, except for Dr. Christine Bear, a researcher at the Hospital for Sick Children’s Research Institute in Toronto. Under the tutelage of his mentor, Zhang was able to do advanced research regarding treatment for the incurable Cystic Fibrosis.

From LiveScience: Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Marshall Zhang, The Kid That May Have Cured Cystic Fibrosis

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Grace Park

March 18th, 2010 | 17 comments | Posted by Jen

Typically when someone celebrates a birthday, they receive presents.

But when it’s Grace Park’s birthday, we put up a couple pics of the lady…

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Grace Park

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Canadians And Their Curious Milk-Dispensing Ways

February 2nd, 2010 | 16 comments | Posted by Jen

I spent five years of my early childhood in Canada, and when we eventually moved back to Texas, one of the things that really tripped me up was how no one in the States drank milk out of a bag. The first lunch at my American elementary school was totally traumatic because I didn’t know how to open a milk carton. I observed the other kids opening theirs and tried faking it, but I wound up trying to open it from the wrong end, only to make a papery mess of things. I’m pretty sure the other kids thought I was retarded.

(The other lunchtime item I had never encountered during my time in the Great White North? Tater tots. A travesty!)

Years later, someone is finally exposing this great cultural divide. Phew.

[via BuzzFeed]

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ROCK OF ASIAN: The King Khan & BBQ Show’s Invisible Girl

November 11th, 2009 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

The King Khan & BBQ Show are two crazy cats from Montreal who make really catchy music that pays serious homage to 50′s and 60′s garage rock.

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And that’s about as much as you can say to pin down Canadiasian King Khan (nee Arish Khan) and BBQ (aka Mark Sultan), who this month released Invisible Girl, their fifth album together.

You can hear the influence of early Washington-state punk bands like The Wailers and The Sonics, as well as Khan’s idol Chuck Berry, in Invisible Girl (which will be streaming for free until November 16 at Exclaim.ca), but King Khan and BBQ don’t like to get too literal about what they do. In this hilariously dada interview, they claim “sodomy, pizza, Roger Moore, sporks, dentistry, Don Knotts, tribal tattoos, tramp stamps not included, and hobo sexuality” as just a few of the driving forces behind their music.

Their live act, too, is legendary for being unlike any other, and lucky for you, The King Khan and BBQ Show will be touring North America through December.  Click here for tour dates.

Look next for a collaboration between GZA and Khan, who’s rumored to be writing songs for the Wu-Tang artist’s upcoming album.

[The King Khan & BBQ Show MySpace]

[Exclaim.ca: Invisible Girl]

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BABEWATCH: Zahf Paroo

August 18th, 2009 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen


Name: Zahf Paroo

Hails from: Canada

Occupation: Actor

Why He’s a Babe: Zahf Paroo is an astronaut. Well, he plays one on TV at least, in the new ABC drama, Defying Gravity, a terrible-yet-weirdly-compelling one-hour about astronauts on a six-year space mission who all see and hear things and go crazy for some mysterious reason. Zahf plays Ajay Sharma, who loses it during the pilot episode, ventures out on an unauthorized space walk, and has been grounded since. But did we mention that we think astronauts are “haut,” even the fake ones? Must be something about that jumpsuit.

Defying Gravity airs Sundays 10/9c on ABC.

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Melissa Fung

November 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Melissa Fung

Age: 35

Occupation: Canadian Broadcasting Corporation journalist

Melissa Fung was abducted outside of Kabul, Afghanistan on October 12 while conducting interviews with Afghan families displaced by the war. She was held captive in a cave for four weeks, at times blindfolded and chained to the cave wall, and fed only biscuits and juice before she was freed on Saturday. There are rumors that either a ransom was paid or two imprisoned Taliban leaders were released in exchange for Melissa’s freedom, both of which have been denied by the Canadian government. After her release, Melissa, who was physically unharmed, told reporters that she hoped people would not make a “fuss” over her.

But we want to make a itsy-bitsy fuss over Melissa. Because we don’t care why she was released so much (and yes, releasing Taliban leaders = bad, duh), we’re just happy that she’s safe.

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Calling All Canadiasians: West 32nd Screening at the Reel Asian Film Festival

November 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Calling our Canadiasian peeps! For those of you in the Toronto area: Michael Kang’s (The Motel) West 32nd will be screening at the Reel Asian International Film Festival this coming Saturday, November 15. West 32nd tells the story of a bright young lawyer who becomes ensnared in a Korean organized crime syndicate in Manhattan while investigating a murder. The film is filled with delicious eye-candy–like (our boyfriend) John Cho, Jun Kim, and Grace Park–that will make you want to lick the screen, and it hasn’t been released in Canadian or U.S. theaters yet, so you can see it first and feel a whole fucking lot cooler than your friends because of it. Director Michael Kang will also be in attendance, so you’ll get the chance to pick his brain, and it is an awesome brain, I assure you, one that is currently kicking my ass in online Scrabble. (Hi Michael! Please let me win this time, okay?!)

Click here for schedule and ticket information.

View the West 32nd trailer below:

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

October 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Hot Canadiasian hunk o’ hockey meat, Paul Kariya, turns 34 today, so we’d like to sing him a little tune:

Happy birthday to Paul
Happy birthday to Paul
Happy birthday dear Paul
Happy birthday to Paul

And many more (photos of you with your shirt off maybe your pants too)…

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Kid Koala

September 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Few tickle vinyl with such brilliant fervor as our favorite Canadiasian deejay Kid Koala, whose turntable-told stories fascinate us, and soft-spoken illustrative aesthetic somehow warms our icy cold hearts. Kids are cute, koalas even cuter– we hate to say this about the man, but he is CUTE with all capital letters. CUTE CUTE CUTE.

Check out Koala’s latest project, Your Mom’s Favorite DJ, out on Ninja Tune Records now.

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O Canada

August 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I hate that the Greyhound bus beheader, Vince Weiguang Li, is Canadiasian.


This is not Canada. This is not Asian.

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Paranoid Android

May 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

To my Vietnamese broham, Trung Le, in Canada (or “Canadia,” as my college roomate once said),

Congratulasians on inventing your country’s first android! Hey, why is she in a wheelchair, may I ask?–Y’know what? Never mind.

Anyway, I have one real suggestion to improve your new robot girlfriend–er, friend.

When you cop an unwanted android feel, she should not wait a moment, swat gently at you, pause, and then state: “I do not like it when you touch my breasts” (as evidenced in the above video).

She should swat and state at the same time.

Again, just a suggestion.

xoxo
diana

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Thanks, Thomas!

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