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Cadillac, The Car Of Choice For Philanderers And Wife-Beaters

October 19th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

First Tiger Woods, now Junior Seau…what is it about the Cadillac Escalade that makes it the perfect getaway car for men involved–allegedly–in domestic disputes?

Seau’s Escalade Escapade

Seau, who was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of domestic violence committed against his 25 year-old live-in girlfriend, drove his 3-ton SUV off a seaside cliff a few hours after the arrest. The NFL veteran came away from the accident with minor injuries and reportedly told police that he had fallen asleep at the wheel. His agent, Mike Kinkler, told ESPN that the arrest and the accident were unrelated.

“One had nothing to do with the other,” Kinkler said. “It’s unfortunate the two events happened so close together, but what people are reporting is completely untrue.”

Uh-huh. That’s what Tiger said.

This can’t possibly help the reputation of the Escalade as the douchemobile of choice, but it likely won’t hurt sales either, especially since Cadillac’s have soared 43.8% in the first nine months of this year. Because even philanderers and wife-beaters–alleged, that is–need a bumpin’ set of wheels.

[NY Times: Seau Is Injured in Crash Only Hours After Arrest]
[USA Today: Ex-wife: Junior Seau was not trying to kill himself when car plunged off cliff]

Source
Thanks, Aliah!

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We Get It Already, Blasians Can’t Drive Escalades

December 2nd, 2009 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana

As Gawker aptly pointed out yesterday, nearly every hack comedian in America managed a take on this setup: “Blasian Tiger Woods crashes his Escalade.”

Ha.



There are many versions, but the joke goes something like this:

Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade yesterday!
Well you know, he’s Black and Asian [pause for yuks].
And of course… the Black part of him bought the Cadillac [insert ghetto grin] and the Asian part of him was driving [insert buck teef]!

Click here for the sampler flight of punchlines.

Surprisingly, though, not one comedian seemed to find a way to make the “joke” funny. ZzZZZzzZzzZZZzZzzzzzZzzzz.

[via Gawker]

Thanks, Jasmine and Colin!

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