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We Regret To Inform You That Your Amazian Status Has Been Revoked

September 20th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Oh Bruno, Bruno, Bru-noooooooooo.

Arrested in Vegas for coke possession? In a public bathroom at the Hard Rock Casino? Not to mention looking hella goofy in your mug shot?

AMAZIAN STATUS REVOKED!

But Jen, you say, who doesn’t love a little bumpity-bump now and then, a little Frosty the Snowman and Christmas come early? What, you don’t like to party? And I say, Sure, if you like diarrhea of the mouth, a limp dick, and the persistent feeling that there’s a crusty booger hanging out your nose that you can’t quite get to all night, have your fun, man.

But here’s the problem: Before you become a rock star cliche, you gotta become a rock star. Getting caught with coke is so third act of your career, not the first. No one knows who the fuck you are yet. You didn’t win a VMA. And your debut solo record is still a week away from dropping. Even Paris Hilton released a full-length album before she got busted with drugs twenty times in one month. And that album actually and astonishingly Continue reading We Regret To Inform You That Your Amazian Status Has Been Revoked

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Bruno Mars

September 13th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Bruno Mars (né Peter Hernandez)

Hails from: Hawaii

Occupation: Singer, songwriter, producer

Known for: Co-writing and producing the most viral song of 2010, Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You”; co-writing and lending his smooth R&B stylings to B.o.B’s “Nothin’ on You,” which was nominated for Best Pop Video at this year’s VMAs, where Mars performed a “Nothin’ on You,” “Airplanes” and “The Only Exception” medley with B.o.B and Paramore’s Hayley Williams, a trio MTV billed as the VMAs’ “dream team” (watch a grainy version of it here); looking kinda dorky cool in a fedora.

Speaking of dreams, Hawaiian native Bruno Mars, who is of Puerto Rican and Filipino descent, has been steadily realizing his of late. After penning the feel-good kiss-off song of the summer and getting nominated for a VMA, the 23 year-old singer, who’s thus far been better known for his writing and producing skillz, will finally take center stage with the release Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Bruno Mars

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