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BABEWATCH: “Bruce Lee In Casual Wear” Action Figure
Y’all. I never knew an action figure could be sexy until I laid eyes on Hot Toys’–appropriate name–Bruce Lee in Casual Wear action figure. Bruce Lee’s always been a muthafucka with mad swag but this one you can actually touch. I mean, the shades, the lace-up shirt, those spectators, and a beach chair included? I don’t know if I want to lick him or bite his style. A little bit of both I guess.
Don’t get me wrong. I tried to lust after my brother’s Han Solo action figure back in the day, but they made him ugly back then. Plus my bro never let me near any of his collectibles. Now I know why!
Whether you want to lick him or be him, Bruce Lee in Casual Wear will set you back about $150. Whatevs.
[MWCTOYS.com: Bruce Lee in Casual Wear Review]
Thanks, Oliver!
Filed under: Action Figures, Badasses, Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee Action Figure, Bruce Lee Doll, Bruce Lee in Casual Wear Action Figure, Expensive Toys, Hot Dolls, Icons, Playing with Dolls, Sexy Dolls, Swag, Toys
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chuck Norris
Happy birthday to Chuck Norris, who turned 70 this week!
We’re not sure how someone who actually knew the late great Bruce Lee and came into contact with his philosophical deepness could become such an anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-science, fearmongering toolbag…
…but no one’s perfect, right Chuck?
From the Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts:
When you say “no one’s perfect,” Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
Filed under: Black Belts, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris Abortion, Chuck Norris Evolution, Chuck Norris Facts, Chuck Norris Gay Marriage, Conservatards, Karate, Martial Artists, Martial Arts, Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, Way of the Dragon
Could This Kobe Any Easier?
Yeah, Kobe, you know we don’t love you. Or like you, even.
But hot damn… sometimes you make our job SO EASY.
Continue reading Could This Kobe Any Easier?
Filed under: Bruce Lee, Couldn't Think Of A Better Way To Shame Kobe If We Tried, Embarrassing, Fugly Shoes, Kobe Bryant, Kung Fu Poses, Lame, Nike, Nike Ad, Racial Drag, Seriously?, Shaming Oneself
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! William Hung
Happy birthday to William Hung, who turned 27 this week!
Hung like a... Shetland pony?
Though he hasn’t produced a record in years, Hung has somehow hung (ahem) out prominently in our minds–like sticky rice on the back of a wooden spoon–until present. Most Hung-related memories make us want to drag him out from his hole just to slap him silly, just because he so famously embodied for millenials every marshmallow-faced, Engrish-speaking, penis-shrinking stereotype we (like our hero, Bruce Lee) have ever tried to kick to the curb.
So here’s hoping now that Hung’s a little bit older, he’s also a bit wiser (and for all of you quick-draw commenters, I know he’s plenty book smart, but we’re talking wisdom here). Maybe he’ll find a way to channel all of that “attitude and charisma” into something wonderful, like medical school or law school (kidding)! Listen, we’re stoked as long as he’s not making us all look like clowns. Anymore.
[William Hung - Official Site]
[YouTube: William Hung American Idol Audition (VIDEO)]
Filed under: American Idol, Birthdays, Book Smart, Bruce Lee, Clowning, Clowns, Engrish, Engrish as a Second Language, Fat Faces, Getting Older, Marshmallow, Never Resisting a Chance to Exploit Yourself As A Stereotype, Penis Shrinkage, Shame, Stereotypes, William Hung, Wisdom
Separated at Birth: Kato and Hamburglar
Photos taken on the set of Michel Gondry’s Green Hornet recently surfaced, but they may leave those who revere Bruce Lee’s badass legacy as Kato a little cold.
It was our friend Mike who pointed out to us that Taiwanese singer-actor Jay Chou as Kato weirdly resembles another well-known masked sidekick…Hamburglar.
And you know robble, robble, robble rhymes with “trouble.”
[Just Jared: Cameron Diaz & Jay Chou: Green Hornet Hotties]
[More Green Hornet Movie Trouble?]
Source
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Thanks, Mike! Everyone buy a copy of Mike’s film West 32nd when it comes out on DVD!!!
Filed under: Bruce Lee, Cameron Diaz, Hamburglar, Jay Chou, Kato, Masked Men, McDonald's, Michel Gondry, Potential Disasters, Robble Robble Robble, Seth Rogen, Sidekicks
If the New Bruce Lee Biopic Were White-Washed…
Variety reported this week that a three-part Bruce Lee biopic is in the works. When we asked you guys on Twitter who should play him, a few of you got all clever and, in light of the Hollywood tradition of white-washing Asian characters (ahem, 21, Dragonball, and The Last Airbender), offered up some inspired casting suggestions:
“Jack Black. Or Woody Allen on steroids.”
“Paul Walker w/a tan!”
“Jean-Claude Van Damme with jaundice”
“Eddie Murphy in an Asian suit?”
“Zack Efron or some other ‘yellow face’”
“Robert Downey Jr. he already went black”
Y’all will be relieved to know that Bruce Lee’s family is actually working on the biopic, and a Chinese company is producing it. Still, if they were going to fuck it up Hollywood-style, our vote for the man to play Bruce Lee would go to…Ryan Gosling. Because we hear he’s really good at kung fu. And it’s been his lifelong dream to play Bruce Lee in a biopic. And…
…and, okay, we really just want to see him with his shirt off. A lot.
Filed under: 21 the Movie, Bruce Lee, Dragonball, Enter the Dragon, Ryan Gosling is a God, Stupid Hollywood Ideas, The Last Airbender, Whitewashing, Yellowface
Bruce Lee Kicks Iron Man’s Ass
We would wager that this stop-motion video is the coolest thing you’re going to see all day, other than our latest vlog, which is forthcoming:
To view more of director Patrick Boivin’s work, click here.
[via BuzzFeed]
Filed under: Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee v. Iron Man, Cool Stuff, Iron Man, Kung Fu Fighting, Stop-Motion, Superheroes, YouTube
BABEWATCH: Steve Byrne
Name: Steve Byrne
Hails from: Pittsburgh, PA
Occupation: Funny Man
Why He’s a Babe: Because he tickles our funny bone, and there’s nothing more appealing in a man than the ability to make people laugh. And whether he’s riffing on boners, Bruce Lee having sex with his wife, or married couples doing it doggy-style, Steve tells a great sex joke. Plus he looks hot in pink undies holding a bucket of chicken, and how many people can say that?
We want to wish Steve, who is Koreish (not the ancient Bedouin tribe, but half-Korean, half-Irish), a Happy St. Patty’s! We hope he does shots of Hennessy chased with a few Irish Car Bombs ’til he pukes!
Filed under: Bruce Lee, Doggy Style, Funny Men, Koreish, Mixed People, St. Patrick's Day, St. Patty's, Steve Byrne, The Kims of Comedy
…But My Car Looks Like Ellen Burstyn
A recent study of what human traits and qualities people see and like in cars has come out, and it has concluded that men and women both prefer cars to look “dominant, masculine and angry.” Cars like the BMW 5 rated highest for its “power” traits, and “power” cars tended to be “lower,” “wider,” and have “slit-like” headlights. In other words, people want their cars to look like this:
Filed under: Angry Cars, Automobiles, Bruce Lee, Car Study, Cars, Hot Cars, Human Traits in Objects, I Am an Angry Driver, Pareidolia, Power Cars, Slit-Eyed, The BMW 5-Series, Ugly Cars
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Chuck Norris
Our jaws dropped last week when Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee suggested AMENDING THE CONSTITUTION TO REFLECT GOD’S STANDARDS, A PROPOSAL RECEIVED BY A CHEERING AUDIENCE.
To avoid being remiss, here is the more definitive quote, from MSNBC:
“[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards,” Huckabee said, referring to the need for a constitutional human life amendment and an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.
Um. Amend the constitution? Our founding fathers are rolling like fucking ravers on E in their graves right now. Huh??? Wha???
We expect candidasians to talk crazy talk. What else is new? But what we shouldn’t have to deal with is this:
Norris endorses Mike “Constitution Shmonstitution” Huckabee
Oh, Chuck. Oh, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. He studied with THE MASTER Bruce Lee. He starred in Walker, Texas Ranger for eight freakin’ years! He can kill two stones with one bird!!!
We can say with almost absolute certainty that Lee would not approve of this crazian political tour. Does Chuck need another couple of kicks in the head to remind him of what good sense is?
We certainly think so.
Filed under: Amending the Constitution, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Crazy Talk, God's Standards, Huh?, Mike Huckabee, Nerds, Presidential Candidates, The Master Is Ashamed
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Giant Robot
Name: Giant Robot
Occupation: Asian-American pop culture rag and brainchild of Eric Nakamura and Martin Wong
Known for: being The Little Yellow Zine That Could, showing the world why they should get on the Asian Cool tip, profiling street and pop artists like Barry McGee and Murakami before they were in every major museum collection in the free world, legitimizing skate culture, an empire of publications, shops and one restaurant in Los Angeles.
(True story–Jen met Martin Wong at Comic-Con in 1997. Martin was hawking dopeass t-shirts with an image of Bruce Lee rockin’ a turntable at the edge of the convention center. Jen was, like, “What the hell is Giant Robot and how can I be your intern?” She and Martin exchanged messages on this newfangled thing called e-mail. Martin never got his shit together to let Jen work for Giant Robot for free. The upshot? DISGRASIAN might never have happened if she had gotten that job. So thanks, Martin and Eric, for allowing us to find our own voice.)
Check out L.A.’s Japanese American National Museum’s celebrasian of Giant Robot’s 50th issue and ten artists’ work that GR has curated for the show, which runs through January.
Filed under: Bruce Lee, Celebrasians, Dopeass Stuff, Eric Nakamura, Giant Robot, I'd Still Work for Free for GR, Martin Wong
Ouch!
I threw out my back earlier this year, and it was awful. My brain was oatmeal from the painkillers and the muscle relaxers, and I could barely walk from my bed to the bathroom. My hair smelled like scalp for days, and all I wanted to eat was candy. The whole experience was filthy, start to finish.
So when I heard that Jackie Chan suffered a back injury last week while filming scenes for Forbidden Kingdom, I felt really sorry for the guy. Some doctors believe that back pain is psychosomatic, but I don’t agree. I’m sure that Jackie has gone through a lot, and I wish him only the best.
Bruce Lee beating the shit out of Jackoff in Enter the Dragon…okay, all of that–except for my “backstory”–was a lie. Was it convincing? Did you believe me for a second?
Filed under: Backstories, Bruce Lee, Hair that Smells Like Scalp, Jackie Chan, Jackoffs, Worst Wishes
