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Olivia Munn Gets Letterman’s Approval, At Least

January 13th, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

“Is Olivia Munn funny?” is about as hot of a debate as gun control. People can decide for themselves when her sitcom, Perfect Couples, airs a week from today, but in the meantime, doubters should watch the video below, in which Munn stops by Letterman and makes him laugh. And no, it had nothing to do with her breasts and that genius tit-sling of a dress she’s wearing, or the fact that Letterman is a notorious perv.

Well, okay, maybe it did. But still…what breasts! What genius framing! What effort it must’ve taken for Letterman to keep his eyes up here the whole time!

[via Gawker.TV]

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Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

February 26th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

HuffPo reports that Elizabeth Hurley attended a black-tie event this week in London dressed in a sari but “forgot” to wear a blouse underneath.

Hurley and hubby Arun Nayar

Can you imagine this kind of senility setting in at age 44? Poor thing!

But forgetting Elizabeth’s age-defying boobage for a second, let’s do a scroll down to her feet:

Continue reading Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

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Padma’s Pregnancy Puppies

October 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“Hello, World. Meet my pregnancy puppies. Pregnancy puppies, meet world. Consider these girls my gift to you. Drink them in. Eat them up. Move in a little closer. Uh, okay, that’s close enough, now you’re starting to perv me out and remind me of my creepy ex. Ahem, where was I? Oh right, I was introducing you to my glorious breasts. Can you imagine what these babies will look like when they’re brimming with milk? I mean, hello. Now there’s a Quickfire Challenge for you–what can you do in an hour with Padma’s breast milk? Ha! Like that’ll ever happen. You can look but you can’t touch. Actually, touch these boobs and I cut you. They’re as tender as a Kobe-strip right now and my hormones are all over the place. Jesus, what I wouldn’t give for a cold compress for these sore nipples. That and a vodka cocktail.”

[photo via HuffPo]

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Andrea Kremer Loves Every Color But Breast Pink

October 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I spent the weekend in the City of Fountains, Kansas City (Missouri, not Kansas), marveling at the waterworks that have been tinted pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

I investigated–not Kool-Aid

…and couldn’t wait for last night, when I would finally see if Sunday Night Football correspondent Andrea Kremer has decided to take our advice and hop on the NFL’s hot pink Breast Cancer Awareness train!

“Eff your lady lumps!”

Instead, Kremer wore another aggressive color: bright fucking banana yellow.

Hey, y’all know we love ourselves some yellow (!!!), but this is getting ridiculous.

[NFL Shop: 2009 Breast Cancer Awareness Gear]
[Susan G. Komen For The Cure - Official Site]

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Hooray For Boobies: NFL Dons Pink For Breast Cancer, Andrea Kremer Goes Rogue

October 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

So wait. Nearly the entire NFL donned fuschia pink this week, in awesome support of Breast Cancer Awareness. Damn cool.

Why , then, did Sunday Night Football’s Andrea Kremer feel the need to answer to pink with powder blue–as in a wacky powder-blue-leather-motorcycle-jacket monstrosity?

Where’s the pink, Andrea?

Does she have something against boobies? Come on! Breasts are awesome!

Breasts rule (And yes, um, those are, um, mine*), let’s keep ‘em healthy!
Here’s the deal. Kremer’s got a week to get on board (How about a pin? Just a little pin!), or else we’re gonna have to sit her down for a stern talking-to. And by “stern talking-to,” we mean a hard punch to the boob.

Love boobies? Hate cancer? Join Susan G. Komen here for the cure.

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October 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Grace Kim

Age: 29

Hails from: Los Angeles

Occupation: November 2008 Playmate of the Month

Why She’s a Babe: Yeah, yeah, Grace Kim has a nice rack. And no, we don’t know if those puppies are real, but we seriously doubt that you care (you’re going to have to get the November issue of Playboy to judge for yourself). But what we really like about Grace is that she’s a dork. She worked for Red Octane, the game publisher of our raison d’être, Guitar Hero, before she became a pin-up, and she is not only a GH competitor, but she likes to throw down about her skillz.*

“I play a mean game of Guitar Hero, and I’m willing to challenge anybody,” she says in the November Playboy. “I must warn you, I’m a sore loser!”

Dude. So are we, because, as we all know, Asians hate to lose. So that’s why we’re challenging you, Grace Kim of the gorgeous breasteses, to a Guitar Hero duel. Know that we play to the death (or, like, until one of us passes out from drinking too much brown liquor, same diff). Are you in? (Please please say you’re in. Our A-cups and carb-guts will never be able to compete with your C-cups and your 21-inch (!) waist, and this is the only way we think we’ll ever have a chance of getting a fat leg up on you, okay?!)

*We did not actually read this in Playboy, even though, like you, we read the rag for the articles. It was reprinted online in COED Magazine, which, in August, also put Grace on a list of–ready for this?–“Amasians.” Style-biters!!! At least when you’re ripping us off, learn how to spell it, assholes. And, uh, thanks. We’re flattered.

Thanks, Henri and Jasmine!

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Yoko’s Onos

October 7th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Since Yoko Ono was honored with a National Arts award last night for “Outstanding Contributions to the Arts,” I’m only going to say nice things about her (instead of focusing on, say, her goofy, netted top hat, a fashion trend inexplicably on the rise).

So here goes. YOKO ONO HAS A REALLY NICE RACK. If you just vomited your Cheerios, bear in mind as you mop up your computer and Listerine your mouth that those boobs are 75 years old. A little perspective: they were born the year Hitler became, well, Hitler. They came into the world during the Great Depression (perhaps now we should call it “The First Great Depression”), and they pre-date television, as in those are radio play-era tits, okay? They’re even older than John McCain, whose man-boobs I hope to never see. Sure, the left one appears to be pushing in on the right one a bit, trying to get a little more attention (the Yoko to the right one’s John), but other than that, they’re impressively smooth, unveiny, and aloft. I’m charmed, too, by the fact that a septuagenarian such as Yoko has the chutzpah to flaunt her knockers. There’s something very dirty old lady about that, like her boobs aren’t at all ready for the nursing home and, instead, they’re ready to party like it’s 1949.


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