DISGRASIAN™

We Found Our Chinese Haunt: The Dali Gay Bar

In an attempt to counter a rapidly rising AIDS rate, the Chinese government has actually done something cool: opened a government-funded gay bar in Dali, one of the ten Chinese cities most affected by the disease.

The bar will offer free condoms, sex ed and a proper watering hole for the area’s gays, many of whom are from rural villages, and “used to gather in a patch of woods near the historic town.” Not to linger on the past, but hanging out in a patch of woods without mushrooms or a cooler/tent/bonfire or elf leader just makes us sad.

Anyway, this is awesome progress and we’re psyched! But enough jibber-jabber. When do we drink???

[via AMERICAblog Gay]
[Reuters: China City Government Opens Gay Bar To Fight AIDS]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: AIDS, Booze Rules, China, Dali, Gaysian = Fun, Gaysians, Government Funding, HIV, The Chinese Government, The Woods, Thinking and Drinking, Watering Holes, We Heart Gaysians

Boob Ram

“Don’t Ram the Boobs” seems like a game that my boyfriend would invent after a night of Tecate, spicy pizza, medicinal pot, Cazadores, White Castle burgers, a round of Trivial Pursuit, three pot cookies, two quesadillas, Modelo Especial, a few rounds of “How Hard Can You Squeeze a Raw Agg Before It Cracks and Splatters Everywhere?”, a 32oz. of Miller High Life, one more pot cookie, an around-the-room test of “Who Can Eat a Tablespoon of Cinnamon?”, a plate of Thai larb salad, and three bottles of Pellegrino.

I can just imagine coming home to a very rudimentary setup of “DRTB” accompanied by the words, “But honey! All you have to do is wear this bikini and STAND THERE!”

Sounds pretty fun. And let’s be honest. I’m my mom’s flat-chested progeny, and I’m not getting fakies anytime soon–which could give the dude and his fellow contestants quite the handicap. I’m IN.

[via Break.com]

Thanks, Thomas!

Filed under: Bad Nights, Boobs, Booze Rules, Boyfriends, Don't Ram the Boobs, Fake Tits, Pot, Weed, Weird Contests, Weird Japanese Behavior, Weird Japanese Game Shows

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

Happy birthday to our friend–and DISGRASIAN early adopter–Garrett Wang, who celebrated his 40th birthday this week!

Your locks are luscious, that skin is smooth, and those arms are buff. In our opinion, you don’t look a day over 22.

So, dear, we wish you nothing but smiles, hot babes, and stiff drinks in the New Year. If you want to share those stiff drinks with two fun ladies, please feel free to call on us.

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Filed under: Actors, Birthdays, Bitchin' Hairdos, Booze Rules, Buff Dudes, Cool Chinese Fellas, Garrett Wang

ROCK OF ASIAN: CSS

OMG, OMG you guys! CSS (who we love, cuz their singer Lovefoxxx is an effing sexy babe, and oh, cuz we love to dance and they’re hella fun to dance to) has a new record coming out in five days!

It’s called “Donkey.” Donkeys are pretty cool–Democrats are donkeys, Shrek has a donkey, donkey punches make us laugh, and a donkey in the sun could also be called “hot ass.”

Pre-order your copy of Donkey today and meet us back here in a week for a hip-shaking rager! We’ll bring the chex mix and boombox, you bring the booze. (Note: Bring a lot.)

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Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Booze Rules, Brazilasians=Hotter Than You, CSS, Dancing is Fun, Democrats, Donkey Punches, Lovefoxxx, Ragers

Liquor? We Don’t Even Know ‘Er…

Jen and I have spent countless hours writing together at DISGRASIAN HQ, and boy can it be tough. It takes a lot to get us through the intense zeitgeist filtration–many therapy seshes are clocked in, lots of vices indulged, handfuls of anti-anxiety and performance enhancing (we feel you, MLB) pills popped. But the thing that really gets us through it all is afternoon booze. Where the hell would we be without the three-martini lunch? Okay, it’s not always martinis. We go through Bloody Mary phases, and mmm do we love Armagnac, and rose wine when it’s seasonal, and it’s always time for scotch. Always.

The point is, afternoon liquor is a savior, kind of like sweet Baby Jesus on a bad day. The ladies of DISGRASIAN simply encourage the drinking lunch. We can’t imagine getting through the day without it (we may as well have grown up in Connecticut!) and hope that no one ever has to.

Yes, technically that makes us alcoholics. Oh go blow yourself if you’re judging us. We’ve written some fucking funny stuff through the inebriasian.

So when we heard about the Chinese liquor ban in the city of Xinyang in Henan province, that essentially prohibits public servants and Communist Party officials from taking their 3-bev lunches, we almost pyyyuuuked. And when we found out that Chinese liquor firms, some of whom have lost a third of their sales due to the ban, were fighting this bullshizz… well, we immediately know whose team we were on. Public servants and Communist Party officials deserve a break today, y’know?

Fight on, Boozers! We’re with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Filed under: Bans, Booze Rules, Fight the Good Fight, Hold Your Liquor, Inebriasian, Lunch, Martinis are Delicious, Solidarity