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The Economist has released a color-coded map charting the findings of a new report (based on data collected from 2003-2005) issued this week by the World Health Organization, which compares the relative alcohol consumption of people over the age of 15 across the globe. The biggest boozers (averaging more than 12.5 liters of pure alcohol, per person, during the study period) are denoted in red. (Click here to see the complete profile of each country):
As you can see, Europeans really take the rum cake. According to this booze map, those Euros are literally BLEEDING ALCOHOL. Australia and Argentina kinda look like awfully great places to have some good ol’ drunk sex. North Americans make a fairly decent showing with just a blush of pink drink. And the Middle East is, unsurprisingly, clean as a whistle. Then there’s Asia…
Hey, wait a minute, what’s that little bright-red blemish on the edge of Asia?
Why, it’s THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA!
Dude. YES. We knew those mofos could party!!!!! Let us all raise a Hite to them!
[Ed. note--Right now, 48 million South Koreans are shaking their heads and muttering, "novices."]
[via The Atlantic]
[The Economist: Daily Chart - Global Alcohol Consumption - Drinking Habits]
[WHO: Global Status Report On Alcohol And Health 2011]
Filed under: Awesome, Booze Rules, Economist, Hite, Korea Can Drink Russia Under The Table, Party Animals, Ragians, Republic of Korea, South Korea, Who?, World Health Organization Alcohol Consumption Study, World Map
In an attempt to counter a rapidly rising AIDS rate, the Chinese government has actually done something cool: opened a government-funded gay bar in Dali, one of the ten Chinese cities most affected by the disease.
The bar will offer free condoms, sex ed and a proper watering hole for the area’s gays, many of whom are from rural villages, and “used to gather in a patch of woods near the historic town.” Not to linger on the past, but hanging out in a patch of woods without mushrooms or a cooler/tent/bonfire or elf leader just makes us sad.
Anyway, this is awesome progress and we’re psyched! But enough jibber-jabber. When do we drink???
“Don’t Ram the Boobs” seems like a game that my boyfriend would invent after a night of Tecate, spicy pizza, medicinal pot, Cazadores, White Castle burgers, a round of Trivial Pursuit, three pot cookies, two quesadillas, Modelo Especial, a few rounds of “How Hard Can You Squeeze a Raw Agg Before It Cracks and Splatters Everywhere?”, a 32oz. of Miller High Life, one more pot cookie, an around-the-room test of “Who Can Eat a Tablespoon of Cinnamon?”, a plate of Thai larb salad, and three bottles of Pellegrino.
I can just imagine coming home to a very rudimentary setup of “DRTB” accompanied by the words, “But honey! All you have to do is wear this bikini and STAND THERE!”
Your locks are luscious, that skin is smooth, and those arms are buff. In our opinion, you don’t look a day over 22.
So, dear, we wish you nothing but smiles, hot babes, and stiff drinks in the New Year. If you want to share those stiff drinks with two fun ladies, please feel free to call on us.
OMG, OMG you guys! CSS (who we love, cuz their singer Lovefoxxx is an effing sexy babe, and oh, cuz we love to dance and they’re hella fun to dance to) has a new record coming out in five days!
Pre-order your copy of Donkey today and meet us back here in a week for a hip-shaking rager! We’ll bring the chex mix and boombox, you bring the booze. (Note: Bring a lot.)
Jen and I have spent countless hours writing together at DISGRASIAN HQ, and boy can it be tough. It takes a lot to get us through the intense zeitgeist filtration–many therapy seshes are clocked in, lots of vices indulged, handfuls of anti-anxiety and performance enhancing (we feel you, MLB) pills popped. But the thing that really gets us through it all is afternoon booze. Where the hell would we be without the three-martini lunch? Okay, it’s not always martinis. We go through Bloody Mary phases, and mmm do we love Armagnac, and rose wine when it’s seasonal, and it’s always time for scotch. Always.
The point is, afternoon liquor is a savior, kind of like sweet Baby Jesus on a bad day. The ladies of DISGRASIAN simply encourage the drinking lunch. We can’t imagine getting through the day without it (we may as well have grown up in Connecticut!) and hope that no one ever has to.
Yes, technically that makes us alcoholics. Oh go blow yourself if you’re judging us. We’ve written some fucking funny stuff through the inebriasian.
So when we heard about the Chinese liquor ban in the city of Xinyang in Henan province, that essentially prohibits public servants and Communist Party officials from taking their 3-bev lunches, we almost pyyyuuuked. And when we found out that Chinese liquor firms, some of whom have lost a third of their sales due to the ban, were fighting this bullshizz… well, we immediately know whose team we were on. Public servants and Communist Party officials deserve a break today, y’know?
Fight on, Boozers! We’re with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!