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Team Erin Andrews
I never thought much of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. Pretty, nice rack, whatever. Okay, okay, let me amend that–pretty, very nice rack…whatever.
The point is, I still got to “whatever.” Because Erin Andrews represents everything that’s cliché and uninteresting about sports to me. She’s the archetypal Hot Girl–blonde, leggy, and, again, racktastic–for dudes with no imagination. She’s also the (pin-up) poster girl for the gender inequality that pervades professional sports and its employment opportunities within, whether it’s in front of the camera, on a coaching staff, or on an executive level. Women need not apply to this good ol’ boy network–unless they’re sexy and most closely resemble the cheerleaders. Men, meanwhile, who do the same work that Andrews does, can be as dweeby (ahem, Ken Rosenthal) or as sartorially-challenged (hi, Craig Sager) or as overweight as they want (what’s up, Goose?) with impunity.
But Erin Andrews’ recent beef with The View’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck–another female-in-sports archetype, aka The Quarterback’s Wife–a beef that, for the record, Hasselbeck started, has not only done away with my ambivalence towards Andrews, it’s also got me rooting for her. You see, Andrews has been a stalking victim twice in the last year. The first time, some perv filmed a Andrews through a peephole while she was naked in her hotel room, and then put the video online. The second time, she received emailed death threats. But she’s been in the news most recently because she’s a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, one of the final five, in fact. A week ago, Hasselbeck criticized the outfits Andrews wore on the show–the women’s outfits are typically skimpy–saying the ESPN reporter was wearing “next to nothing” while not-so-subtly playing the ol’ blaming-the-victim game:
Continue reading Team Erin Andrews
Filed under: Apologies, Barbara Walters, Bithfights, Blame-y Bitches, Blaming the Victim, Boobs, Conservative Women, Dancing With the Stars, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Elisabeth Hasselbeck Apologizes to Erin Andrews, Elisabeth Hasselbeck Erin Andrews Feud, Erin Andrews, Erin Andrews Death Threats, Erin Andrews Stalker Victim, ESPN, Fake Apologies, Female Sportscasters, Nice Racks, The View
ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton
Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?
America's rack!
She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.
Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:
Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton
Filed under: A Revolution's Brewing, Anti-Agin' Asian, Big Dawg, Boobs, Christian Conservatives, Conservatards, Conservatives, Country/Western Singers, Disappointing Your Parents and Your Parent-Country, Enough Already, FOX News is a Joke, God Lovers, Grating Voices, Gung-Ho, Guns, Indoctrinasian, Liberty, Lisa Mei Norton, Logic Is Useless, Michelle Wie, Obama Birth Certificate, Pop Singers with 3rd-Grade Vocabularies, Really Smart People, Right Wing Nutjobs, Ruining Your Children, Singer/Songwriters, Tea Parties, Tea Party Anthem, Teabaggers, What the hell are you people talking about?, Why Does The Tea Party Get So Much Press?
Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass
HuffPo reports that Elizabeth Hurley attended a black-tie event this week in London dressed in a sari but “forgot” to wear a blouse underneath.
Can you imagine this kind of senility setting in at age 44? Poor thing!
But forgetting Elizabeth’s age-defying boobage for a second, let’s do a scroll down to her feet:
Continue reading Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass
Filed under: Annie Wilkes, Arun Nayar, Boobs, Breasts, Elizabeth Hurley, Marrying In, Racial Drag, Saris, Scary Feet, See-Through Clothes, Showing Your Breasts In Public, Tits, Weird Feet
Hey! Olivia Munn All Glossy And Naked-like, Again
Our girl Olivia will soon debut Hey Olivia!, her own personal magazine with MyMag–a company that asks famous people/tastemakers/yadda yadda to curate material for their own personal issues.
But who cares about the specifics? That’s burying the important news, which is: WOOHOO! NEW PICTURES OF OLIVIA IN LINGERIE! READ IT AND WEEP!!!
Hey! Boobs!
Currently, Olivia is joined in the editor’s box by DISGRASIANaries Brett Ratner and DJ Steve Aoki. They don’t look nearly as good in their skivvies, that’s for sure.
Continue reading Hey! Olivia Munn All Glossy And Naked-like, Again
Filed under: Beautiful Ladies, Boobs, Bras, Brett Ratner, Hey Olivia!, Hot Bodies, Hot Photos, Lingerie, Magazines, MyMag, Olivia Munn, Olivia Munn is Hot, Panties, Photospreads, Shameless Reasons For Buying Magazines, Steve Aoki, Tastemakers
File Under Totally Gratuitous: Lucy Liu Nude Pics! [NSFW]
Nerve.com has, ahem, uncovered some old Lucy Liu nude pics.
They don’t know when they were taken or what for, but like you care.
See the whole gallery here.
[Nerve: Lucy Liu Nude Photos Resurface]
Filed under: Actresses, Asian American Actresses, Boobs, Charlie's Angels, Lucy Liu, Lucy Liu Naked, Lucy Liu Nude, Nerve Dot Com, Nipples, Nude Boobs, Posing Nude
Padma’s Pregnancy Puppies
“Hello, World. Meet my pregnancy puppies. Pregnancy puppies, meet world. Consider these girls my gift to you. Drink them in. Eat them up. Move in a little closer. Uh, okay, that’s close enough, now you’re starting to perv me out and remind me of my creepy ex. Ahem, where was I? Oh right, I was introducing you to my glorious breasts. Can you imagine what these babies will look like when they’re brimming with milk? I mean, hello. Now there’s a Quickfire Challenge for you–what can you do in an hour with Padma’s breast milk? Ha! Like that’ll ever happen. You can look but you can’t touch. Actually, touch these boobs and I cut you. They’re as tender as a Kobe-strip right now and my hormones are all over the place. Jesus, what I wouldn’t give for a cold compress for these sore nipples. That and a vodka cocktail.”
[photo via HuffPo]
Filed under: Boobs, Breasts, Cleavage, Desis, Indian-Americans, Nipples, Padma Lakshmi, Padma Lakshmi Breasts, Padma Lakshmi Pregnant, Pregnancy, Tits, Top Chef
Shot Through The Heart/And You’re To Blame/Grace Park You Give Underboob A Good Name
I’M CONFUSED.
I hate Maxim, I hate butt-to-butt photos, I hate underboob “shirts.”
But goddamn, Grace Park on the cover of the new issue of Maxim makes all of that nonsense look good. I CAN’T HATE. I CAN’T HATE. (Did I just write that??!?)
[Just Jared: Grace Park & Tricia Helfer Cover Maxim Magazine]
Filed under: Beautiful Ladies, Bikinis, Boobs, Butts, Grace Park, Hot Bodies, Maxim, Photographs Maxim, Smoking Hotness, Taking a Hating Break, Unholy Magazine Covers
Hooray For Boobies: NFL Dons Pink For Breast Cancer, Andrea Kremer Goes Rogue
So wait. Nearly the entire NFL donned fuschia pink this week, in awesome support of Breast Cancer Awareness. Damn cool.
Why , then, did Sunday Night Football’s Andrea Kremer feel the need to answer to pink with powder blue–as in a wacky powder-blue-leather-motorcycle-jacket monstrosity?
Where’s the pink, Andrea?
Does she have something against boobies? Come on! Breasts are awesome!
Breasts rule (And yes, um, those are, um, mine*), let’s keep ‘em healthy!
Love boobies? Hate cancer? Join Susan G. Komen here for the cure.
Filed under: Boobies, Boobs, Breasts, Cancer Is Horrible, Cures, NFL, Pink
Be Expensive! Be, Be Expensive!
Of all the people in the world, why is adorable quirktress Alexa Chung (Note: Yes, we love her. But this is in no way a suggestion that you watch her show on MTV–or MTV at all, for that matter) the only person in the pseudo-celebosphere speaking with any reason?
In a recent interview w/ the UK’s Times, she discussed her resistance to show her airbrushed ass off for the benefit of male splooge magazines (Cuz lawd knows, an editorial spread in Maxim can take you far), saying:
“I feel like I have no need to be sexy for anyone other than my boyfriend. It feels a bit cheap. I didn’t want to be the token presenter that pandered to a male demographic.”
Sad, but I admit I was taken aback by the words that came out of the 25-year old TV personality’s mouth. I mean, cheap? What young star cares about being cheap anymore?
And for that matter, what’s so cheap about… um…
—er, sorry, I just boobs forgot what I squoosh the boobs where I uh, titty titty bang bang whatever Spread em! Spread em! totally forgot what I was talking about.
[Times Online: Alexa Chung - America's New Idol]
Filed under: Alexa Chung, Boobs, Chicks that Rule, Class and Decency, FHM, Looking Cheap, Maxim, Pandering, Splooging Your Pants, The Price of Fame
BITCHFIGHT ALERT! Meghan McCain vs. Michelle Malkin
Oh, it’s on.
During a live chat Friday on Politico’s The Arena, Malkin–who’s been busy promoting her new Obama-hatin’ book–was asked which conservative commentator “needs to shut up,” and she named Meghan McCain.
McCain, in turn, responded via her Daily Beast column Monday, writing, “(I)f people like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter think they can bully me into giving up this fight and what I am doing, they are going to be severely disappointed.” Then she threw down the ultimate blogger-to-blogger insult by boasting:
“Malkin has the No. 1 book on The New York Times bestseller hardcover nonfiction list, but I have nearly twice as many Twitter followers as she does. And trust me, Twitter is more of an indication of where young people are than books published by the hyper-conservative publisher Regnery—which will be bringing you Carrie Prejean’s new book and published one of Ann Coulter’s.“
Ahhh sheeeit, Michelle, are you going to take that lying down?!
Meanwhile, my money’s on Meghan McCain in this bitchfight. And here’s why. She might not know a whole lot about the history of her own political party, but a) McCain’s already got a fighting Asian sidekick in her BFF Tila Tequila, who’s a self-professed former “cholo gang” member, and b) I’m pretty sure one thwap from McCain’s tremendous boobs to Malkin’s face would knock tha bitch out cold.
[The Daily Beast: My Message for Michelle Malkin]
Filed under: Bitchfights, Boobs, Conservative Pundits, Meghan McCain, Meghan McCain vs. Michelle Malkin, Michelle Malkin, Republican Infighting
Boob Ram
“Don’t Ram the Boobs” seems like a game that my boyfriend would invent after a night of Tecate, spicy pizza, medicinal pot, Cazadores, White Castle burgers, a round of Trivial Pursuit, three pot cookies, two quesadillas, Modelo Especial, a few rounds of “How Hard Can You Squeeze a Raw Agg Before It Cracks and Splatters Everywhere?”, a 32oz. of Miller High Life, one more pot cookie, an around-the-room test of “Who Can Eat a Tablespoon of Cinnamon?”, a plate of Thai larb salad, and three bottles of Pellegrino.
I can just imagine coming home to a very rudimentary setup of “DRTB” accompanied by the words, “But honey! All you have to do is wear this bikini and STAND THERE!”
Sounds pretty fun. And let’s be honest. I’m my mom’s flat-chested progeny, and I’m not getting fakies anytime soon–which could give the dude and his fellow contestants quite the handicap. I’m IN.
Thanks, Thomas!
Filed under: Bad Nights, Boobs, Booze Rules, Boyfriends, Don't Ram the Boobs, Fake Tits, Pot, Weed, Weird Contests, Weird Japanese Behavior, Weird Japanese Game Shows
"Ladies" Who Lunch
Tila Tequila and Meghan McCain finish lunchat Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, March 28
TILA: Me too! Thanks for buying lunch.
MEGHAN: Well, you said you couldn’t find your wallet.
TILA: Oh! Um, yeah!
MEGHAN: Um, you’re welcome.
TILA: You have a lot of dough though, right? I mean your mom’s totally loaded.
MEGHAN: Well I don’t really like to talk about money.
TILA: Oh. Why?
MEGHAN: I’ve always heard it’s kinda tacky. Kinda like talking smack about your dad’s first family when they’re not around to defend themselves. Not like my mom does that or anything.
TILA: Hunh.
MEGHAN: Hunh.
TILA: Hey, did you buy your boobs?
MEGHAN: Excuse me?
TILA: God, you must have bought really expensive ones. They’re so real, it completely looks like it’s all real fat in there.
MEGHAN: Er, yeah, my breasts are real.
TILA: Oh my gaw! Praise the lawd Jesus! I love ‘em! You’ve got awesome tits, girl.
MEGHAN: Thank you. Everybody loves my boobs.
TILA: I just want to stuff my face in them and then make out with your thighs for my vlog. And then take you home to meet my parents.
MEGHAN: I, uh, okay.
TILA: And gaw, I’m like, just so glad we hooked up on Twitter! Ha… you can actually say “I hooked up with Tila Tequila… on Twitter.”
MEGHAN: Yeah… I… could?
TILA: It’s just that when I found that you like, fully looked up to me, I just sooooo wanted to like, reach out, like to a little sis or an um, like, rabid fan, or whatever. I can’t believe you’re my rabid fan! I love that!
MEGHAN: Oh girl, I love you. But I don’t know if you could call me a “rabid fan,” per se. It’s not really like that. I just think it’s cool that you–
TILA: Make out with chicks.
MEGHAN: Well, not–
TILA: Have beautiful, big tits.
MEGHAN: I mean–
TILA: Hate the gooks.
MEGHAN: You–wait, what?
TILA: You wanna “If You Seek Amy!” Girrrrl!!!
MEGHAN: Um, Tila, I think I might just going through a rebellious stage. I hate my parents. My mom’s a robot.
TILA: Mine too!
MEGHAN: That’s awesome.
TILA: I know. So annnyways, when I realized we were going to lunch, I was like, we’re gonna dress all ladylike, right? So I’m gonna wear a little black dress and my classiest stilettos! And then I was all like, ohmigosh. Pearl necklace. I’ve gotta wear a pearl necklace!
MEGHAN: Are those… pearls?
TILA: Well, I mean, kinda! Anyway, pearl necklaces are like my favorite thing. If you know what I mean! [snorts]
MEGHAN: Yes, I think I do. Hey, not to get or technical or anything, but I think those balls on your necklace are more accurately meant to appear “pearl-like.”
TILA: [suddenly emotional] Girl, don’t hate.
MEGHAN: What??
TILA: Are you being a hater?
MEGHAN: I… I’m sorry, what?
TILA: I have suffered so much hardship in my life already. And when you’re on top [snorts], people just want to take you down. They wanna be haters! And I say, fuck the haters!
MEGHAN: Tila, I’m not… I’m not hating.
TILA: Fuck the haters! Don’t be a hater! Don’t breaka my stride, girl! Don’t hate!
MEGHAN: I just spent two-hundred bucks on lunch. Why would I hate?
TILA: Girl, don’t talk about money. That’s just tacky.
MEGHAN: I just told you that!
TILA: Bitch, please! [whips out Blackberry]
MEGHAN: What are you doing?
TILA: I’m tweeting this.
MEGHAN: Oh my fucking God. You’re like a goddamn Twitter addict!
TILA: Yeah, I twitter a lot, ho! Right now I’m saying that you’re a cunty, money-grubbing, hater bitch. Should show up on your phone in a second. Oh, and now I’m saying that you take the Lord’s name in vain.
MEGHAN: Oh my god, you’re a full-on psycho.
TILA: Right now I’m tweeting that you’re a full-on psycho.
MEGHAN: I hate you.
TILA: I didn’t vote for your dad.
MEGHAN: Who cares? Neither did I!
TILA: I’m tweeting that.
MEGHAN: AUGHHHHHHH! [exits]
[Us Magazine: Meghan McCain Goes to Lunch With MTV's Tila Tequila]
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Addiction, Boobs, Celebrity Twitterers, Chateau Marmont, Circus Tits, Drive-Bis, Haterasian, John McCain, Lunch, Meghan McCain, Odd Couples, Rebellion, Shameless Photo Ops, Tila Tequila, Twitter
