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Katy Perry At The AMAs: If It’s Asian, It Must Be Geisha

November 22nd, 2011 | 14 comments | Posted by Jen

Katy Perry wore a gown printed with East Asian calligraphy to Sunday’s American Music Awards, which garnered her all kinds of comparisons to a “geisha.” HuffPo and Celebuzz called her look “geisha-inspired,” the SF Chronicle called it “glam geisha,” My Fashion Life put their thang down, flipped it and reversed it to “geisha glam,” and another site said the dress was in the style of “Memoirs of a Geisha.”

Ever see a geisha with her boobs pushed up under her chin? Didn't think so

Only problem is, the Vivienne Westwood-designed gown Perry wore has nothing to do with geishas, and was actually “inspired” by a Chinese flower painting. The calligraphy on the dress Perry wore is Chinese, not Japanese. The dress is from Westwood’s Spring 2012 Gold Label collection, which drew from “Chinese calligraphy, Mao jackets, Berber dress, and 17th century corsets as influences.”

This isn’t the first time Katy Perry wore something Asian-looking that writers lazily labeled “geisha.” Back in August, Perry attended the VMAs carrying a parasol, dressed in an Atelier Versace cheongsam mini, which was also dubbed “geisha-inspired.” The cheongsam, however, is Chinese. Perry’s look was lifted directly from 1920′s-30′s Shanghai, a look immortalized later in the 20th century by home decor posters printed from vintage Chinese ads:

Continue reading Katy Perry At The AMAs: If It’s Asian, It Must Be Geisha

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Olivia Munn Gets Letterman’s Approval, At Least

January 13th, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

“Is Olivia Munn funny?” is about as hot of a debate as gun control. People can decide for themselves when her sitcom, Perfect Couples, airs a week from today, but in the meantime, doubters should watch the video below, in which Munn stops by Letterman and makes him laugh. And no, it had nothing to do with her breasts and that genius tit-sling of a dress she’s wearing, or the fact that Letterman is a notorious perv.

Well, okay, maybe it did. But still…what breasts! What genius framing! What effort it must’ve taken for Letterman to keep his eyes up here the whole time!

[via Gawker.TV]

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Team Erin Andrews

May 11th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

I never thought much of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. Pretty, nice rack, whatever. Okay, okay, let me amend that–pretty, very nice rack…whatever.

The point is, I still got to “whatever.” Because Erin Andrews represents everything that’s cliché and uninteresting about sports to me. She’s the archetypal Hot Girl–blonde, leggy, and, again, racktastic–for dudes with no imagination. She’s also the (pin-up) poster girl for the gender inequality that pervades professional sports and its employment opportunities within, whether it’s in front of the camera, on a coaching staff, or on an executive level. Women need not apply to this good ol’ boy network–unless they’re sexy and most closely resemble the cheerleaders. Men, meanwhile, who do the same work that Andrews does, can be as dweeby (ahem, Ken Rosenthal) or as sartorially-challenged (hi, Craig Sager) or as overweight as they want (what’s up, Goose?) with impunity.

But Erin Andrews’ recent beef with The View‘s Elisabeth Hasselbeck–another female-in-sports archetype, aka The Quarterback’s Wife–a beef that, for the record, Hasselbeck started, has not only done away with my ambivalence towards Andrews, it’s also got me rooting for her. You see, Andrews has been a stalking victim twice in the last year. The first time, some perv filmed a Andrews through a peephole while she was naked in her hotel room, and then put the video online. The second time, she received emailed death threats. But she’s been in the news most recently because she’s a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, one of the final five, in fact. A week ago, Hasselbeck criticized the outfits Andrews wore on the show–the women’s outfits are typically skimpy–saying the ESPN reporter was wearing “next to nothing” while not-so-subtly playing the ol’ blaming-the-victim game:

Continue reading Team Erin Andrews

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ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

April 28th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?

America's rack!

She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.

Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:

Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

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Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

February 26th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

HuffPo reports that Elizabeth Hurley attended a black-tie event this week in London dressed in a sari but “forgot” to wear a blouse underneath.

Hurley and hubby Arun Nayar

Can you imagine this kind of senility setting in at age 44? Poor thing!

But forgetting Elizabeth’s age-defying boobage for a second, let’s do a scroll down to her feet:

Continue reading Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

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Hey! Olivia Munn All Glossy And Naked-like, Again

November 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Our girl Olivia will soon debut Hey Olivia!, her own personal magazine with MyMag–a company that asks famous people/tastemakers/yadda yadda to curate material for their own personal issues.

But who cares about the specifics? That’s burying the important news, which is: WOOHOO! NEW PICTURES OF OLIVIA IN LINGERIE! READ IT AND WEEP!!!

Hey! Boobs!

Hey! Boobs!

Currently, Olivia is joined in the editor’s box by DISGRASIANaries Brett Ratner and DJ Steve Aoki. They don’t look nearly as good in their skivvies, that’s for sure.

Continue reading Hey! Olivia Munn All Glossy And Naked-like, Again

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File Under Totally Gratuitous: Lucy Liu Nude Pics! [NSFW]

October 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Nerve.com has, ahem, uncovered some old Lucy Liu nude pics.


They don’t know when they were taken or what for, but like you care.

See the whole gallery here.

[Nerve: Lucy Liu Nude Photos Resurface]

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Padma’s Pregnancy Puppies

October 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


“Hello, World. Meet my pregnancy puppies. Pregnancy puppies, meet world. Consider these girls my gift to you. Drink them in. Eat them up. Move in a little closer. Uh, okay, that’s close enough, now you’re starting to perv me out and remind me of my creepy ex. Ahem, where was I? Oh right, I was introducing you to my glorious breasts. Can you imagine what these babies will look like when they’re brimming with milk? I mean, hello. Now there’s a Quickfire Challenge for you–what can you do in an hour with Padma’s breast milk? Ha! Like that’ll ever happen. You can look but you can’t touch. Actually, touch these boobs and I cut you. They’re as tender as a Kobe-strip right now and my hormones are all over the place. Jesus, what I wouldn’t give for a cold compress for these sore nipples. That and a vodka cocktail.”

[photo via HuffPo]

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Shot Through The Heart/And You’re To Blame/Grace Park You Give Underboob A Good Name

October 14th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’M CONFUSED.


I hate Maxim, I hate butt-to-butt photos, I hate underboob “shirts.”

But goddamn, Grace Park on the cover of the new issue of Maxim makes all of that nonsense look good. I CAN’T HATE. I CAN’T HATE. (Did I just write that??!?)

[Just Jared: Grace Park & Tricia Helfer Cover Maxim Magazine]

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Hooray For Boobies: NFL Dons Pink For Breast Cancer, Andrea Kremer Goes Rogue

October 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


So wait. Nearly the entire NFL donned fuschia pink this week, in awesome support of Breast Cancer Awareness. Damn cool.

Why , then, did Sunday Night Football’s Andrea Kremer feel the need to answer to pink with powder blue–as in a wacky powder-blue-leather-motorcycle-jacket monstrosity?

Where’s the pink, Andrea?

Does she have something against boobies? Come on! Breasts are awesome!

Breasts rule (And yes, um, those are, um, mine*), let’s keep ‘em healthy!
Here’s the deal. Kremer’s got a week to get on board (How about a pin? Just a little pin!), or else we’re gonna have to sit her down for a stern talking-to. And by “stern talking-to,” we mean a hard punch to the boob.

Love boobies? Hate cancer? Join Susan G. Komen here for the cure.

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Be Expensive! Be, Be Expensive!

August 14th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Of all the people in the world, why is adorable quirktress Alexa Chung (Note: Yes, we love her. But this is in no way a suggestion that you watch her show on MTV–or MTV at all, for that matter) the only person in the pseudo-celebosphere speaking with any reason?

In a recent interview w/ the UK’s Times, she discussed her resistance to show her airbrushed ass off for the benefit of male splooge magazines (Cuz lawd knows, an editorial spread in Maxim can take you far), saying:

“I feel like I have no need to be sexy for anyone other than my boyfriend. It feels a bit cheap. I didn’t want to be the token presenter that pandered to a male demographic.”

Sad, but I admit I was taken aback by the words that came out of the 25-year old TV personality’s mouth. I mean, cheap? What young star cares about being cheap anymore?

And for that matter, what’s so cheap about… um…




—er, sorry, I just boobs forgot what I squoosh the boobs where I uh, titty titty bang bang whatever Spread em! Spread em! totally forgot what I was talking about.

[Times Online: Alexa Chung - America's New Idol]

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BITCHFIGHT ALERT! Meghan McCain vs. Michelle Malkin

August 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Oh, it’s on.


During a live chat Friday on Politico’s The Arena, Malkin–who’s been busy promoting her new Obama-hatin’ book–was asked which conservative commentator “needs to shut up,” and she named Meghan McCain.

McCain, in turn, responded via her Daily Beast column Monday, writing, “(I)f people like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter think they can bully me into giving up this fight and what I am doing, they are going to be severely disappointed.” Then she threw down the ultimate blogger-to-blogger insult by boasting:

Malkin has the No. 1 book on The New York Times bestseller hardcover nonfiction list, but I have nearly twice as many Twitter followers as she does. And trust me, Twitter is more of an indication of where young people are than books published by the hyper-conservative publisher Regnery—which will be bringing you Carrie Prejean’s new book and published one of Ann Coulter’s.

Ahhh sheeeit, Michelle, are you going to take that lying down?!

Meanwhile, my money’s on Meghan McCain in this bitchfight. And here’s why. She might not know a whole lot about the history of her own political party, but a) McCain’s already got a fighting Asian sidekick in her BFF Tila Tequila, who’s a self-professed former “cholo gang” member, and b) I’m pretty sure one thwap from McCain’s tremendous boobs to Malkin’s face would knock tha bitch out cold.

[The Daily Beast: My Message for Michelle Malkin]

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