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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Scotty Lago, Michael Phelps And The Olympic-Sized Case Of Mistasian Identity

March 5th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Earlier in the week, we told you about how snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Kimmel and, with the help of a friend who’d spoken to fellow Olympian Michael Phelps, identified the woman who blew his bronze and got him bounced from the Games as a reporter who had also tried to “make out” with Phelps.

Good thing our friends are smarter than Scotty and Michael’s friends, because ours quickly pointed us to this post by Canadiasian gossip blogger Elaine “Lainey” Lui, the reporter in question, who runs the site Lainey Gossip. Lainey not only refutes that she’s the same woman who gave Lago the bronzejob, but she also tells her side of the story behind the “alleged” Phelps make-out attempt.

Lainey Lui on the left, The Bronze Blower on the right

She writes in “For Michael Phelps: Distinguishing Asians 101″:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Scotty Lago, Michael Phelps And The Olympic-Sized Case Of Mistasian Identity

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For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

March 2nd, 2010 | 16 comments | Posted by Diana


Snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Jimmy Kimmel this week to clear the air about those darned racy photos that got him kicked out of the Vancouver Olympics festivities before the closing ceremony.

Medal groupie!? In the interview, Lago says fellow Olympian Michael Phelps recognized the girl from the photos as someone who once posed as a reporter and tried to make out with him. Read: it was that skank’s fault.

Hunh. Lago’s story smacks of one that some cheesedick would tell in a locker room to all of his pimply-faced buddies, trashing the poor girl he convinced to blow him the night before. “Oh yeah, she was gagging for it!”

Continue reading For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Johnny Damon

November 5th, 2009 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wishing Johnny Damon a happy birthday is total fucking overkill. We refuse to do it. Here’s why:

World Series Phillies Yankees Baseball
Johnny Damon and Joba the Hutt Chamberlain celebrate the New York Yankees’ 27th World Series title

Imagine you’re Johnny Damon. You wake up today, and it’s your 36th birthday. You’re hungover, no, scratch that, you’re still drunk from the night before, because you raged into the wee hours after winning the World Series. Not your first World Series, mind you, but your second…in five years. Would it be gauche to wear both rings at once, you wonder, sleepily, drunkenly, grinning at the irony of your World Series ring won with the Red Sox and your World Series ring won with the Yankees glinting side by side on your knuckles. (You’re pretty stoked that you know what “irony” is, too.  Well, sorta, but you wouldn’t want to have to put it in, like, actual words.)

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Dick on a Stick, Yum!

June 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Inspired by Arrested Development, two enterprising young women in Austin have opened the Texas capital’s first-ever frozen banana stand. As the Decider Austin pointed out, unlike in the show, the proprietors “didn’t steal their business idea from a hard-working Korean.” The stand is called Bananarchy, and like so many other hip food joints these days, it’s got a Facebook group and a Twitter account.

That’s adorable! That’s life imitating art! That…


…that thing on the left, I’m pretty sure, is a dick on a stick.

What’s the deal with blowjobs and food lately?

[via Videogum]

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Evan Marc KatzzZZzzzz

September 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Failed screenwriter and self-proclaimed “America’s leading dating expert,” Evan Marc Katz believes that he can solve your dating–particularly online dating–woes.


Katz also has a blog, from which I gathered this post title the other day:

Exqueeze me?

Katz doesn’t go on to say how his advice is tailored for Asian men, which might have been, I dunno, useful, but he does include them in a general “group,” which includes:

So let me get this straight…Asian men are on par with short, old, fat people?

Hmm. Normally I would protest, but then I took another look at Katz, and my very small sense of compassion took over…

…and I thought to myself, “You have Dumbo ears. And a rockin’ lisp. And you failed at being a sitcom writer, which means you’re not smart or funny. When’s the last time YOU got a blowjob?”

And then I just felt sorry for the guy.

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