DISGRASIAN™

YMI Here?

Billboards for YMI Jeanswear have been going up all over town featuring 2007′s Miss Universe Riyo Mori of Japan and Miss USA Rachel “I fell on my ass at Miss Universe” Smith and Miss Teen USA Hilary Cruz.

Now, let’s take a peek at Riyo’s internal monologue during this shoot.

RIYO: YMI sharing billboard space with these losers? YMI doing ads for low-rent hooker wear?

Riyo can also be seen on MTV’s new reality drama-queen show “Pageant Place,” which premiered last Wednesday. The premise is that Miss Universe, Miss USA and 2006′s Miss Teen USA Katie Blair will all live together in an apartment during their reign. Like The Real World, only prettier. The wrinkle? 2006′s Miss USA Tara “Coke-a” Conner moves in with them this week, pissing off both the reigning Miss USA Rachel Smith and Miss Teen USA Katie Blair, who was BFF with Tara until she ratted Tara out to “the organization” for being a cokewhore and almost got her dethroned.

Below, please find Pageant Place’s trailer trash (if doesn’t actually play on our site, because it’s MTV and they blow):

And Riyo’s internal monologue about all this?

RIYO: YMI sharing screen time with these trashy hos? Especially those two blonde fat-faces who are a donut away from blowing up?

(existential pause)

RIYO: Are you there God? It’s me, Riyo. YMI a useless beauty queen/reality show whore? YMI doing any of this? YMI here? Y. M. I….alive?

(existential crisis ensues)

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Filed under: Bitchfights, Blame It on Riyo, Donald Trump, Existential Crises, Fat-Faced Blondes, Miss Universe, Pageant Place, Reality Television Scrapes the Bottom of the Barrel, Tara Conner, Trashy Hos

Universal Heroes, Part Ni

“I, like, totally have a ‘Samurai Soul’!”

As Diana, like, totally tubularly posted today, Miss, like, Universe 2007, Riyo Mori, wants to break into acting. Miss Universe also totally and li-trally says she has a “Samurai Soul.” That’s so awesome cuz we do too. OMG!!! BFF!!!

Riyo was also, like, all, “”It’s funny because I’ve never been surrounded by so many people, so many cameras.“

And we were, like, all, “That’s so, like, funny, because you’re Japanese, y’know? And cameras and Japanese people are all hoozy-whatzy…”

And Riyo was all, “No, guys, for serious.”

And we were all, “I mean, you know, it’s just…”

And then Riyo was all, “What? I don’t, like, get it, ‘kay?”

And we were like, “You are BULLSHIT, Riyo.”

And Riyo was all, like, “I mean it, guys! Stop, like, fracking with me. I’m so sure I’ve, like, never been surrounded by SO MANY CAMERAS.”

And we were all, like, y’know, “Shut up, Riyo, and look pretty.”

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Filed under: Blame It on Riyo, Miss Universe, Stop Making No Sense, There Are No Cameras In Japan, This is Bullshit