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How can one celebutard–who knows full well how closely her words are parsed–commit two Twit faux pas in one week?
What we’re referring to is handing off her blackberry to a friend who apparently shouted out himself in no uncertain terms: Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Lindsay Lohan
Filed under: Annoying Things Celebrities Do, BBC, Blackberry, Celebrity Twitter, Celebutards, Friends Suck, Human Trafficking, India, N word, Stupid Things Celebrities Say, Trivializasian, Tweets, Twitter
Sarah Palin is hopping mad about the image of her that Newsweek used for their recent cover, stating that the photo (originally taken for a profile in Runner’s World) taken out of context is “sexist.”
Sexist? Or just stupid? In my humble opinion: after the age of 22, taking any public photo in shorts is downright irresponsible. I don’t care who the hell you are, what job you’ve got, how great your gams are, how fast you are on a Blackberry, or how many times you wink at me. Not a good idea.
Filed under: Blackberry, Fitness, Fitness Gear, Irresponsibility, MILFs, Newsweek, Runners World, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Newsweek Cover, Sarah Palin Short Shorts, Sexist Spin is so '08, Short Shorts, Things Women Over 22 Should Not Do, Unholy Magazine Covers, ZZzzzZzZzZZzzzz
Asians love bling, and Asians love gadgets.
What do we do when our gadgets get blinged?
Well, some of us put the $200k gold-and-(hopefully green)diamond gadget on our birthday wish list, especially since our birthday is coming up in less than a month. Then we drop casual hints to our close friends (Hi, Jen!), family members (Hi, Dad!), co-workers (Hi, Jasmine!), and gents (Hi Marty/Chaz/Morridge/Laphonz/RabbiBerg/Ned/Maz/JohnCho/Blaine/Buddy/Billy/Bob/BillyBob/RyanGosling!) to start saving up.
Clock’s a-tickin’. Not trying to be pushy here, though! Just stating the facts! Uh, clock’s a-tickin’.
Filed under: $200, 000 Diamond-Dipped Blackberry, Alexander Amosu, Asians And Their Unholy Obsession with Gadgets, Birthday Presents, Blackberry, Bling, Diamonds, I WANT I WANT I WANT, Shameless Materialism
Back in late 2007, there was a lot of speculation about when the first set of leaked nude photos of tween icon Vanessa Hudgens were actually shot. Frankly, I believed her story: they were 3-year old snaps from roughly 2003, taken and once sent to her high school boyfriend (shockingly, if you did the math, this made her out to be about 14 or 15 in the shots). The ex was a bit of a bastard, and eventually got his jollies by disseminating the sexy pictures across the interwebz. Because she was so young, I felt reallyreallyreally almost-pedophil-icky just glancing at the images (the link above is to censored versions)–after all, Hudgens was essentially a child in them. A nude child, a famous nude child lacking judgment, and indeed a ripening sexual being, but a child nonetheless.
So I basically gave her a pass. No, it wasn’t a good idea to take those pictures of herself, but for chrissake, don’t we all do a bunch of stupid things when we’re kids? How smart can you actually be at 14 when half your brain is jelly and the other hormones? There’s no such thing as foresight at that time. Instead, I felt the blame was on us, grown-up people with nothing better to do than avoid our jobs by scouring gossip blogs and leer over dirty pictures of Disney stars. Pathetic. Icky. Shameful.
But it looks like Ms. Hudgens now faces another photo scandal, this time with nude and semi-nude photos recently hacked from her Blackberry. Lots of ‘em.
Does she get another pass? Perhaps not this time.
People in Hudgens’s camp apparently claim that these photos are as old or even older than the originals, but I’m not so sure. As you can probably see, her body shape has toned and matured significantly. The cheeks once adorably swollen with baby fat–quite evident in the original photos, seem oh-so-sinewy and adult in the latest. The glossy blowouts of her glamorous locks are consistent with her look of the last couple of years. And the black RAZR phone that she captures in this number:
…wasn’t released to special folks, like Hollywood stars, until mid-to-late 2005, and really saw its heyday from 2006 to 2007.
Then there’s that belly-button ring, which she apparently got in 2007, prominent in so many of the pictures. Hunh.
I’m not saying that these photos are from last week. But I am saying that I’m not buying this jazz about how Hudgens made one mistake six years ago, and it was one she never repeated.
Why does this bother me so much? Maybe because I’m convinced these pictures really have been living on Hudgen’s SIM card for a while. And for the life of me, I cannot understand why.
I absolutely, positively need to know why the MySpace generation, even its celebrity icons, are so desperate to document their goody-goods in easily sharable formats.
It’s not like these people don’t understand that we live in the shadow of Big Brother. He will find you, with his lipstick security camera or Flip cam or cameraphone, pissing yourself at a party or screwing somebody else’s boyfriend, whether you’re famous or not. Yes, once upon a time, a picture was just a picture–and if you destroyed the print, the film, and any potential Xeroxes you were in pretty good shape. Today, if you so much as think about attending a party, there’s already a photo of you there tagged on Facebook; its file remnants, regardless of what you do, forever living somewhere entangled within their intellectual property policy.
We as a people are becoming too well-documented. Pictures are too easy to take. I have about 60 photos in an album from my entire childhood; I’ve got 40 new pictures on my Blackberry of myself next to a super weird dog I met at a coffee shop last week. Put to record far more often, young celebrities are immortalized in thousands of photographs every day–they even enjoy the benefits of Photoshop–why in fuck’s sake would they need more? And why do they always take pics that are reminiscent of amateur video porn?
It disappoints me. And it frightens the hell out of me (Note to my womb: no future baby ever to be built in there will be given a cameraphone for Christmas). It’s yet another reminder that the up-and-coming stars of today aren’t like those in Hollywood’s golden years–those people with so much talent and presence and spark and “a certain something” that they simply needed to be harnessed and put on film–they’re just a bunch of kids that need attention, just like everybody else.
In the end, I still feel pretty icky about looking at the racy Hudgens photos. But perhaps now for a different reason.
Filed under: Blackberry, Creepy Tingles, Disney, I Call Bullshit, Ick, Leaked Photos, MySpace Generation, Pathetic, RAZR phones, Self-Documentasian, Timelines, Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Hudgens Nude Photos