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Basically, it means that in order to bond with his new college homies, a dude needs to spread his legs, get lifted in the air, and have his special parts rammed against building corners and furniture. Sometimes it’s rough and tough, sometimes it’s warm and fuzzy like in the video below (submitted by the above-mentioned student)–but no matter what it always, always, always includes slamming junk into hard stuff for giggles:
We learned via Japan Trends that a Japanese news agency has reported on a boom trend among the country’s netizens in their twenties and thirties: online nomikai (drinking parties!!!).
Funny, we’ve always fancied DISGRASIAN as a kind of online drinking party (or are Jen and I the only ones sitting at our laptops, rantin’ to y’all, while sipping on scotch/rocks?).
For the Japanese, virtual mixers are an adaptation of a longstanding social norm that typically obliges people to booze formally (read: uncomfortably) with their coworkers at izakaya spots. In Hollywood we tend to call such burdensome fiestas “work drinks” (or Jen’s personal form of hell), and spend the time making fun of line producers that can’t stop flirting inappropriately with young production assistants.
More from Japan Trends:
“One way to get around this but still enjoy drinking in groups is to go online. Apparently net nomikai are gaining in popularity, according to reports by J-Cast and others. All you need is a web cam, Skype and a pair of headphones and mic. There is no boss, no seating arrangements — and even no geographical limitations! Obviously it’s a lot cheaper than boozing in an izakaya too, which might appeal to the recession-minded younger drinkers who can’t rely on company expenses.”
Booze? Budget-friendly socializing? No need for designated drivers? No regretful drunken co-worker boob gropes? Fun avatars? An open browser on the desktop so each user can intermittently check in on DISGRASIAN updates? Hell. It all sounds pretty good to us!
Frankly, we see little wrong with the concept of getting hammered with online friends every night… except… hrmm… Dr. Drew might eventually classify it is a form of drinking alone, a subtle sign of alcoholism. But no one else seems to be worried about that, so why should we?
Thanks, Dave and Jasmine!
Filed under: Alcoholism, Bizarre Trends, Budget Boozing, Dr. Drew, Drinking Parties, Formality, Great Ideas, Japan, Japan Trends, netizens, Nomikai, Online Drinking, The Recession, Weird Japanese Behavior
Word on the street is that China is experiencing a massive pet boom: skyrocketing numbers of folks toting around their furry friends, millions of dollars worth of increased dog food consumption, and an explosion of animal specialty stores across the country.
In the States, Jen and I live in LA, and we are both happy/obsessed dog owners in a land of frivolous dog ownership. We’re surrounded by stores like “Puppies and Babies” and “Bitch and Hound” and “K9 Loft” that babysit dogs with mounted webcams and offer designer doggy athletic shoes and animal raincoats (for less than $400, wow!).
I live for animals in outfits. I adore animal mohawks. I actually think that many of our pet friends truly enjoy having a hoodie if their owner has a hoodie, a pedicure if their nails need a-trimming, doggy yoga if they’re not feeling centered, a cashmere sweater if they’re a skinny little thing that gets shivery.
But this shit?
Really, it would be kinder to eat the poor little fuckers.
I remember when bunches of my friends started going to raves. They’d get tricked out in giant JNCO jeans and fluorescent, furry vests, with pacifiers lassoed around their torsos and candy necklaces tightly wound against their struggling tracheae. Suddenly, everyone was getting pierced to shit. Giant bones through the septum. Silver balls poking out of the cheeks. Clear tongue rings. Pierced beauty marks. Giant, jillion-gauge, coke-can-sized rings inflating the soft flesh of the ears.
Everybody that delves in body mod is making a statement, whether that statement is “I actually want to look like a lizard” or “I dig tribal shit/love dancing to Kylie Minogue” or “It’s time for me to come out of my shell” or “I give great head” or “My parents didn’t love me enough.” And that kind of vociferation I totally respect.
But this not-even-really-new trend that’s apparently picking up steam in Japan (according to Bizarre Mag), which involves sculpting saline injections in the body for one-night’s worth of looking super kri-zazy…
Filed under: Bagelheads, Bizarre Trends, Body Modificasian, Getting Attention, Gross, Ick, Looking Wack On Purpose, Pleas for Help, Saline Injections, Weird Japanese Behavior, When Piercing and Tats Aren't Enough
My oldest sister is a freak. She was born with a totally rad, gigantor rack–like, real puppies, real “girls,” or whatever people with real boobs call their boobs–that I never understood. The three remaining sisters in the family, however… we practically headed up the west coast chapter of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. We were small-chested Asians, and we owned it. Owned it, dammit.
But every once in awhile (like the day I spent on set with Rosario Dawson’s perfect, natural, giant chest all day, and thought: I should probably buy me summa those) I wonder if I’d have a far more enjoyable, gilded life as a big-boobie’d lady. What if? What if?
And other days, like today, I look at all of the big, fat, scary, glandy fat bags suffocating some of Hollywood’s finest…
Filed under: Bizarre Trends, Celebutards, Christina Aguilera, Circus Tits, Elizabeth Hurley, Glandy Fat Bags, Hollywood Epidemics, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, Jodie Marsh, Rosario Dawson, Sibling Rivalry
The Mainichi Daily News reported yesterday that Hitoshi Matsuzawa, an office worker from Kamagaya, Japan, successfully climbed Mount Fuji…to iron a shirt.
Yup, that’s right, there is a sport called “Extreme Ironing” which involves athletes climbing or scuba-diving to remote places and, um, IRONING. You may be shocked to learn that “those key-razy Japs” didn’t invent it, either. According to wikipedia, it was invented by the British and no one seems to agree on whether it is for reals as a sport, a total spoof, or performance art. My vote is that it’s performance art.
Click here for full story. And no, I’m not fucking with you.
The L.A. Times reported yesterday that a lawsuit has been filed against Pinkberry, the wildly popular frozen-yogurteria that has opened 15 locations in California and three in New York within the last two years. The plaintiff, Bryan Williams, contends that Pinkberry yogurt lacks the GOOD CULTURES (bacterially speaking) that constitute real yogurt:
“For lack of a better word, it’s just dessert,” said Williams’ attorney, Michael Amir. “We’re just asking for them to … tell the public the truth.
Pinkberry, which is as guarded about their recipe as KFC, threw down this defense:
Pinkberry “is yogurt, absolutely 100%” vowed company President Young Lee, who said he’s working with the state to resolve the concerns. “We are more frozen yogurt than other frozen yogurt.”
This can’t be true, can it?
“TOKYO (Reuters) – Japan’s second-biggest toilet maker INAX Corp. has joined porcelain powerhouse Toto with tales of smoking toilets and burning bidets.
INAX, owned by JS Group Corp., said it had not made public seven cases of malfunctioning “washlets” — a combination toilet and bidet common in Japanese homes — that smoked or caught fire from 1991 to 2005.”
“INAX’s announcement followed an apology Monday from Toto Ltd., which revealed that 26 malfunctioning washlets had emitted smoke and another three had caught fire.”
So I’ve already used my “hot ass” joke.
“Boy, I suppose this pretty much guarantees a ‘flaming pile of shit,’ eh guys?”