DISGRASIAN™

Next Thing You Know, They’ll Be Shaq-ing Up

Sure she can gyrate. But what about that bikini wax?

Something tells me this is what Tila Tequila would be up to if she REALLY LET HERSELF GO.

[via Yahoo! Sport UK + Ireland]

Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Bikini Waxing, Bizarre Photographs, Fascinating Body Positions, I Feel Dirty, Lap Dances, Midgets, Pandas, Sex Scandals, Shaq, Shaquille O'Neal, Tila Tequila

Where in the World is Kim Jong Il Korea?

Here’s a photo of Kim Jong Il during a military unit visit on April 25, published in the South Korean newspaper Chosun Ilbo.

And here’s him doing another military unit visit on June 14.

Wait. No. Wait. No. That’s the same one, just blurry and missing a couple of dudes–hold on. Let me find it.

Shoot. That’s the same photo again. Isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Huuuuuuunnnnh. Guess that’s the question of the hour. How very interesting.

Now wait. This is big. If North Korea is doctoring photos of Kim, that means one of the following:

1. Kim Jong Il is finally so filled with shame and remorse for being a chubby, bull-headed, nuke-loving dick-tator, that he refuses to show his face in public anymore. Yay!
2. Kim Jong Il is too fat to walk.
3. Kim Jong Il overslept on June 25 and this photo was part of a sloppy coverup scheme.
4. Kim Jong Il just discovered this awesome shit called Photoshop! Favorite tool: smudge.
5. Kim Jong Il is dead as a bed.
6. Kim Jong Il is ill for rill, near death, and not up and able for photo-ops. Time for him to throw in the goddamn towel and stop being such a giant worldwide cheesedick.

I’m going with 3. Totally.

[NYT: Photo Stirs Speculation on North Korean Leader]

Source
Thanks, Jen!

Filed under: Bizarre Photographs, Busted, Cheesedicks, Doctored Photos, Kim Jong Be Illin', Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Il Dead, Kim Jong-Il is Missing, North Korea, Photoshop, Really? They're Trying This?

Pumpkin Heads

Well…

…for the first time ever, Tila Tequila is the best-looking thing in a picture.

PROGRESS!

Source
Thanks, Jasmine and jRu!

Filed under: Awkward Moments, Billy Corgan, Bizarre Photographs, Bravo, Glamour and Glitter Fashion and Fame, Hits of the 90s, Photo Op Victims, Red Carpet Whores, Tila Tequila, Weird

Two Thigh Thighs, Hush Hush, Squoosh Your Eyes

When I first saw Danny Choo’s photo of this new Japanese web book on Boing Boing, I got all tense, cuz I thought I was about to start talking about a new fetish of fast-mounting popularity: love of really creepy, long, jerky-like labia.

First Glance: Attack of the killer curtains!?!

But then I realize it’s just a collection of photos documenting weird dudes getting their mugs squished to bits by lady gams. Seems normal enough, although not particularly enjoyable for either party.

But who am I to judge? At least I can relax.

Source
Source

Filed under: Angry Labia, Bizarre Photographs, Dodging the Bullet, Faces Between Thighs, Faces Squished By Thighs, Fetishes, Phew, Thighs, Web Books, Weird Japanese Behavior

Quite an O-Cake-sian

BRIDE: Oh, Yum!

GROOM: It’s our wedding cake! A delicious creation.

BRIDE: I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this thing. So what did you say it was again? It’s our “mountain of love?”

GROOM: Yes.

BRIDE: So it’s definitely not Jabba the Hutt.

GROOM: No, but he’s my favorite! Baby, we love Star Wars! Remember how we met at that Star Wars: Episode 1 screening?

BRIDE: Honey, that’s not real Star Wars. And hey, you know I don’t like to tell people we saw that piece of trash.

GROOM: I know.

BRIDE: And, okay, so you’re absolutely sure this isn’t a cake shaped like a soft, wet dog turd? Like the kind that happens in multiple piles around the house if you go on vacation and leave the dog with a dogsitter, and it gets really freaked out?

GROOM: Turd? No way.

BRIDE: It does look like a turd.

GROOM: I would contest that.

BRIDE: Good luck, buddy.

GROOM: Thank you.

BRIDE: Alright, but seriously. If this isn’t some kind of geoduck creation, I don’t know what it is.

GROOM: It’s not–

BRIDE: I can’t deal with geoducks, man. They look like angry, clammy, uncircumcised penises. I mean, hell, I love a dog in a turtleneck, just not on my mollusk.

GROOM: How many dogs in turtlenecks have you seen, exactly?

BRIDE: Um, nothing! OOOOH, cake! Let’s take the picture!!!!

Photo via DListed

Filed under: Bizarre Photographs, Bizarre Shapes, Jabba the Hutt, Star Wars, Star Wars: Episode 1, Steaming Piles of Turd, Trash, Uncircumcised Penises, We Love Dogs, Wedding Cake Rules, Weird Asian Behavior