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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! (Sad) Keanu Reeves
Happy birthday to Keanu Reeves, who turns 46 today!
via bruna benvegnu
Dude, why so sad?
Why don’t you go buy yourself a present? Like a new Apple product? That always makes us feel better.
via Xenohub
No? Well then, how about you go hang with the Old Spice Guy? He smells really, really good, and maybe some of his Swagger will rub off on you (not a gay reference, BTW, we’d never do that on your bday)?
Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! (Sad) Keanu Reeves
Filed under: Anti-Agin' Asian, Birthdays, Keanu Is Sad, Keanu Reeves, Old Spice Guy, Old Spice Swagger, People Who Look Sad While Eating, Sad Keanu
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Dean Cain
Happy birthday to Dean Cain, who will turn 44 on Saturday!
I remember the first time I laid eyes on this warm-skinned, super-duper man on a classic episode of 90210 when he was the gullible, white-toothed, sexy-eyed Wisconsin boy that bought Brenda Walsh’s bad French act one summer in Paris. I couldn’t believe a guy so dumb and wholesome could also be wicked hot and intriguing, but oh, how he was.
Time has treated this hapa well, which makes me very happy. Why oh why did I ever stop stalking this guy?
Filed under: 90210, Actors, Aging Nicely, Birthdays, Brenda Walsh, Buff Dudes, Buffalo Bills, Crushes, Dean Cain, Hapa, Hard Bodies, NFL, Paris, Stalkers, Superman
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Slash
Happy birthday to His Awesomeness, Slash, an esteemed honorasian who turns 45 tomorrow. Like many mythical creatures, Slash is practically ageless, timeless, and as mysteriously cool as when he first started rocking faces off at Madame Wong’s in ‘84.
He will always be an inspirasian to us! We hope those hot fingers get a rest from axe-rocking, just for one day, so that Slash can celebrate the big 4-5 properly–with both fists wrapped around vodka bottles.
[Here Today... Gone To Hell! The History Of GN'R]
Filed under: Agelessness, Awesomeness, Birthdays, Guitar Gods, Guns N' Roses, Honorasians, Inspirasian, Madame Wong's, Middle Age, Mythical Creatures, People Whose Faces Can't Be Seen And Therefore Reveal Nothing, Saul Hudson, Slash, Velvet Revolver
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Arianna Huffington
Happy birthday today to honorasian Arianna Huffington, our boss at HuffPo and one of the most influential women in media!
A few things we love about Arianna:
* She smells so good. She has the aroma of cleanliness and cashmere and a womanly, floral perfume not muddled by overbearing yucky stuff, like musk.
* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!
* We love lady writers. And bloggers.
* She has turned self-reinvention into an art form.
* She works hard for the money.
* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!
* She throws a great dinner party.
* OH, and that yummy accent. We love it, we love it!
* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!
Filed under: Arianna Huffington, Awesomeness, Better With Age, Birthdays, Bloggers, Boss Bosses, Cashmere, Hair that Smells Like Scalp, Honorasians, Hot Bloggers, HuffPo, Influentials, Powerful Women, Reinvention, The Huffington Post
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Chan Ho Park
Happy birthday Chan Ho Park! We hope you had a fantastic 37th birthday yesterday.
It took me a long time to write this post, because I accidentally fell down a wormhole of googling hot pictures of you in your beard (of which there are many). You know I have a thing for beards!
Anyway, instead I’ve used a current snap of you in your new Yankees gear just to get this post out the door. Eventually I realized that, beard or no beard, you’ll never really look quite so hot as you chould… if you’re a YANKEE.
Oh yeah, and happy birthday anyway!
xoxo
DISGRASIAN
(Hi Jen, go Red Sox!)
Filed under: Birthdays, Chan Ho Park, Chan Ho Park Hot, Chan Ho Park Yankees, Chan Ho Park's Beard, New York Yankees
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Jujubee
Happy birthday to our beloved Jujubee, who turned 26 this week!
Darling, you are magnificent. We hope you got a long-overdue birthday call from your mama–and if you didn’t, well honeychild, come on over and we’ll hug you to our bosoms and tell you everything’s gonna be alright. Cuz everything’s gonna be alright.
MWAH! Dance the night away!!!
[Wikipedia: Jujubee (drag queen)]
Filed under: Beautiful Ladies, Birthdays, Drag Queens, Estranged Parents, Hardass Asian Moms, Jujubee, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2, We Heart Gaysians
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Tim Lincecum
Happy birthday to Tim Lincecum, pitcher for the SF Giants, who turned 26 this week!
Qualities to love about Lincecum:
1. Early career excellence
2. Pacific Northwest roots (What’s up, U Dub!)
3. He’s got a mean-ass fastball
4. Laugh lines, goofy grin, lanky stature
5. He’s got Angry Asian Man’s love (he’s a Giant after all, which stacks the deck in his favor). ‘Nuff said.
Time to celebrate with a nice microbrew and some fresh market seafood! Woot!
[AAM: 30 Under 30 - Tim Lincecum]
[Wikipedia: Tim Lincecum]
Source
Thanks, Bernadette!
Filed under: 2008 Major League Baseball Starter of the Year, Angry Asian Man, Angry Asian Man's 30 Under 30, Big Time Timmy Jim, Birthdays, Filipino-Americans, Hardass Asian Pitchers, Microbrews, Pacific Northwesterners, Pitchers, San Francisco Giants, The Franchise, The Freak, The Giants, Tim Lincecum, University of Washington
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! A Few Words Of Birthday Chatter For John Yoo
There’s only one way to celebrate John Yoo’s 42nd birthday (it’s today)–and that’s to bestow upon him the sort of kind words my Hardass Asian Grandma would offer a grandson like him if she were still alive today:
“How old are you today? 42?
Ai-ya!!! 42 is so old. So old. Life is over.
You know, you not look healthy, John. Now that you so old you have to think about your health. Your face is so fat. Your blood pressure is bad. When grandpa was your age he weigh 140 pounds and move dressers and refrigerator all around our house. Grandpa was strong and healthy.
You know, your mother says you do not visit at all, only four times a year for holidays. Such bad children after they come to America, they do not care about taking care of their mothers.
You look so old, John! You should exercise. Your wife leave you if you look too ugly.
My other grandchildren, they give me three and four and five great-grandchildren. What you give me? My friends at singing group tell me you like torture children. Ai-ya! That is bad, devil child! Why you so bad?
I work so hard all my life to get grandchild like this. 42 years waste!
Here, take some leftovers home with you.”
…
WHAT, GUYS!?!?! THIS IS HOW WE CELEBRATE!
Filed under: Birthdays, Bloat Face, Blood Pressure, Bush Administration, Celebrasians, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Grandchildren, Hardass Asian Grandmas, John Yoo, John Yoo Birthday, John Yoo Is A Cheesdick, John Yoo Torture Memo Author, Leftovers--Yum, White House Pawns
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Hardass Asian-Adopter Mom Angelina Jolie
Happy birthday to Angelina Jolie, who turns 35 Friday!
Like our own Hardass Asian Moms, she’s aging well.
Like our own Hardass Asian Moms, she likes reading Asian languages.
Like our own Hardass Asian Moms, she sounds a little Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Hardass Asian-Adopter Mom Angelina Jolie
Filed under: Adopted Moms, Adoption is the New Black, Adoptive Parents, Angelina Jolie, Birthdays, Brangelina, Hardass Asian Adopter Moms, I Want to be Adopted by Brad and Angelina, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Pax Jolie-Pitt, Pax Thien, The Jolie-Pitts
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Maggie Q
Happy birthday to Maggie Q, who turns 31 on Saturday! This glorious beauty and Q-tie is so sweet in the face we’d consider giving up meat for her. At least for a day or two.
Filed under: Actresses, Beautiful Ladies, Birthdays, Hot Bodies, Maggie Q, Maggie Q Chilis, Maggie Q Naked, Maggie Q PETA ad, Maggie Q Red Lips, Meat, PETA, PETA Asia Pacific, PETA Celebrity Activists, So Qt, Spicy Stuff, Vegetariasians, We're Nice On Your Birthday
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Aaron Yoo
Happy bithday to Aaron Yoo, whose shaggy locks we coveted in 21 and Disturbia! You turned 31 yesterday, but sure don’t look a day over 24.
And since I’m making assessments: you also seem like the kind of dude that has a rockin’ record collection, can roll a sweet spliff, always wears a perfectly worn-in tee, and can coax their Hardass Asian Mom to do anything–simply by annoying the shit out of her, then almost suffocating her with an awkward bear hug. Dude, we totally want to party with you. Let us know when and we’ll cruise!
Filed under: 21, Aaron Yoo, Actors, Annoying Your Hardass Asian Parents, Birthdays, Disturbia, Hardass Asian Moms, Our Thirties Look GOOD, People That Seem Like Stoners, We're Not Too Old to Party
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Coach Norm Chow
Happy birthday to one of our favorite dudes in football, UCLA Bruins offensive coordinator Norm Chow, who turned 64 Monday!
Unfortunately for Coach Chow, we hear this year’s team is sorely lacking in O. But you may recall that we at DISGRASIAN, however, happen to have the ear of the Football Gods.
So we pray to you, Football Gods, to give Coach Chow a hand this year. They say Offense Wins Games, Defense Wins Championships, but a team needs to win games in order to win championships, no? Not that we’re caught up in our much ballyhooed, local college football, crosstown-rivalry drrrrrama. Seriously, we could kinda give a flying amen! about any of that because, as you know, our religious denomination is the NFL, but we just want Coach Chow to be happy. Because when he’s pissed, he kinda looks like our Hardass Asian Dads when we’ve disappointed them, and that scares us a little, you know? Like, take a look at Coach when he’s actually stoked on you and cheering you on:
Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Coach Norm Chow
Filed under: Asians in Football, Birthdays, Bruins Football, Coach Norm Chow, College Football, Crosstown Rivalries, Division I Football, Football, Football Gods, Hawaiians, Norm Chow, UCLA Bruins, UCLA Football, UCLA Offensive Coordinator Norm Chow, USC Football, USC Trojans
