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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Chan, Sometimes Ya Gotta BS The BSer

November 20th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

This man’s limo driver apparently overcharged him by 800 grand:

Too rich to notice: it took months for Tony Chan to notice the $800k missing from his pocket

…so why are we looking at his toothy mug instead of the guy at the wheel?

Well, there’s no denying that the crime allegedly committed by Chan’s driver, Peter Rahhaoui, was wrong. Stealing from anybody, no matter how wealthy, is definitely not okay. So if Rahhauoi is found guilty, it’s slammertime.

But is it possible that this driver, currently pleading not guilty to the offense, is in fact a kind of shadowy, uncelebrated hero–like a less bloodthirsty, NYC version of Dexter, and was simply doing his part as a vigilante scam artist in order to keep the world in balance?

From NY Mag:

“…back in Hong Kong, Chan’s own credibility has been called seriously into question. Chan is accused of faking the will of his mistress, late Hong Kong property magnate Nina Wang, who was reportedly worth $4.2 billion at the time of her death in 2007. She was then the richest woman in Asia. A self-proclaimed feng shui master, Chan began his relationship with Wang as a design consultant and soon became her lover — despite a two-decade age difference. He carried on his affair with her even as his own wife became pregnant and bore a son (who Chan named, wonderfully, “Wealthee”). After Wang’s death, Hong Kong authorities allege Chan forged a will naming him the sole heir to her fortune.”

Not saying Chan deserved to be swindled, or that he’s guilty of anything that hasn’t been proven. Okay, maybe if guilty of all things above, he deserved it a liiiiittle bit.

And if he’s this careless with dough and hiring, maybe Jen and I should be working for him.

[via NYMag]
[BBC News: Appeal In Hong Kong Over Nina Wang's fortune]

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How To Be Like Warren Buffett

November 24th, 2009 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.“–Mark Twain

Do clothes make the man?

When the men in question are Bill Gates, the richest man in the world ($40 billion), and Warren Buffett, the second-richest man in the world ($37 billion), and the clothes are suits made by Chinese tailor Dayang Trands so favored by Buffett that he claims to have thrown away all of his other suits, it’s probably worth testing out that theory.

From CNN’s Emily Chang:

[CNN: Buffett sizes up rags-to-riches Chinese tailor]

[Bloomberg: Buffett Praise of China Suit Maker Boosts Shares]

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BABEWATCH: Josie Ho

February 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Josie Ho

Hails from: Hong Kong

Occupation: Singer/Actor

Why She’s a Babe: Despite being a billioneiress–her father is casino tycoon Stanley Ho–this ho works, and she works it double-time as both a singer and an actor. And she’s something of a rebel, defying her Hardass Asian Dad’s wishes by becoming an entertainer. And on February 27, Josie will be making her American film debut as bad girl Cantana in the totally retro, live-action Street Fighter movie, starring other babelicious ladies Kristin Kreuk and Moon Bloodgood.

Watch the trailer here. Visit Josie’s official site here.

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Bitch, Please

December 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This week, US Weekly nabbed an exclusive with Tila Tequila, whose book Hooking Up with Tila Tequila is in stores now, where she told the tabloid that she wants to adopt a boy.

“Sometimes I think, like, let’s just run away from Hollywood and adopt a son, and do my own thing,” she said. “But then I realize, you know what? I want to make at least another billion dollars before I adopt children so I can just focus on them.”

“ANOTHER billion dollars”? Really? I’m not so hot with numbers (I fake it pretty well, though), but doesn’t saying you want to make another billion dollars suggest that you’ve already made a billion dollars?

Dayum, Tila. A few may have bought into the idea of you being bi, but how stupid do you think people really are?

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Dear Jerry Yang

November 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Dear Jerry,

Hey dude. We know you’re having a shitty week. Shoot, the whole world knows, which probably means that, right about now, you’re in bed with the curtains drawn, licking raw cookie dough off your fingers, catching up on all those episodes of Deadliest Catch you’ve got stored on your TiVo. While everyone else is speculating what if (you had taken the Microsoft deal) and what next (for Yahoo!), we want to focus on YOU, Jer. Because, hey, you’re still worth a couple billion–okay, maybe a little less with this financial crisis thingy goin’ on–and you’ve worked really hard for that dough. Maybe too hard, naw mean? Don’t you think it’s time to step away from all this technological innovasian and have some good old-fashioned fun for a change?

That’s why we’re here. We, unlike you, are not billionaires. We really don’t know squat about running a business, much less, like, balancing our checkbooks. But we do know how to have fun. And if we had your kinda money, we would know how to spend it. Here are a few suggestions that we guarantee will help cheer you up:

1) Buy a sports team

We know what you’re thinking. Paul Allen’s been there, done that. But unlike Allen, you could buy a team, and, instead of merely parking yourself courtside to get some camera time or wasting your owner’s box on celebutard hangers-on or being content when your team is a perennial also-ran, you could commit. To building a contender. Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about sports. We can teach you. The first thing you need to know is that the Dallas Cowboys, the Pittsburgh Steelers, or the Boston Red Sox should be top 3 on your wishlist. Not just because they’re our favorite teams. Well, okay…maybe because they’re our favorite teams, but, like, whatever, all three of these teams have been #1 in one way or another over the last decade (merchandising and world championships), and you do want to be #1 again, don’t you?

2) Buy your way onto the space shuttle

You wanted to be more competitive with Google, right? Well, Sergey Brin bought his ticket to space…why not you? Since Sergey’s probably busy, like, Googling and stuff, you could totally get there before him! How awesome would it feel to beat Google for a change? Also, we can’t think of a better way to make your Hardass Asian Mama proud. All Asian parents want their kids to go to space; it’s a law of nature, like the effects of gravity. It’s going to cost you $35 million, and it will only bring short-term satisfaction, but if it means besting Google and making your Mom proud in one move, it’s worth every last purple penny.

3) Start an online-media empire in Asia

If space isn’t enough of a final frontier for you, let’s talk Asia. You’re already doing business there. You’ve earned a pretty bad reputasian for your dealings with China, and you probably feel a shit-ton of shame over it. Well, you should. But we’re not here to pile on (for now). We think that you could begin to make amends, however, by creating a content-driven online-media empire in Asia to satisfying the burgeoning middle- and upper-classes who want perspective, voice, opinion, and humor in their news. Think of it as becoming the Arianna Huffington of Asia, Yahoo! News with a panty-twist. We, um, could help you get started with that. In fact, we have this blog that would fit right into that business model. We’re all about Asia and Asians and opinions and humor. A weird coincidence, right?!

Anyhoo! Bet you’re feeling better already. We certainly are. So call us, Jerry Yang. We’re here for you.

always looking on the bright side,

DISGRASIAN

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

November 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy 40th birthday to Yahoo! founder Jerry Yang! On this day, perhaps you can enjoy counting your billions and reminding yourself that even as the stock market continues to plunge, you will still remain rich enough to appear “goofy-hot” to your wife. Yay!

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FYIsian

October 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Columbia Professor: ‘Hanging A Noose Reeks Of Cowardice’this shit has got to stop.

Japanese Boy Wins Rubik’s Cube World Championship, Kyodo Saysfile under “We’re Taking Over Everything.”

Report: China’s Ranks of Billionaires Swell with Soaring Share, Land Pricesditto, now let’s take a crack at philanthropy.

Calls for greater tolerance of gender diversity in SingaporeTrannies are people, too.

RON: I CAN FIX WHAT’S WANG WITH CHIEN-MINGfavorite headline of the week.

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