DISGRASIAN™

Best-Of-Craigslist: “Teach Me How To Kiss”

Usually, we let the postings from best-of-craigslist that we reprint here speak for themselves. But this one really demands a close reading:

1. “I need a guy to teach me how to kiss.”

Um, no, you don’t. Cuz the thing is, guys in general rank way down on the list of “Great Teachers of the Art of Make-Outage,” behind “Neve Campbell and Denise Richards in Wild Things,” “your favorite stuffed animal,” and “horny Shih-Tzus.” If you really want to learn how to kiss, go to a bar and buy two shots of Patrón, one for you, and one for some slutty-looking drunk chick who you’ll soon be playing tonsil hockey with until she passes out and/or throws up in her purse.

2. “Ideally, it shouldn’t last longer than five minutes, seeing as how most guys creep me the fuck out.”

Continue reading Best-Of-Craigslist: “Teach Me How To Kiss”

Filed under: Always Do Your Homework, Asians Love Homework, Best of Craigslist, Craigslist, Crazy Bitches, Girl-on-Girl Action, Horny Shih-Tzus, Kissing Rules, Making Out

At Long Last! The Difference Between Lesbians and Bisexual Women Explained

Finally, someone has explained the difference between lesbian and bisexual women in an easy-to-comprehend way involving two of our favorite food groups, sushi and hot dogs:

From the Best of Craigslist

In summary…

There is nothing like sushi.

But hot dogs are less complicated.

Sushi, however, gets stale.

And hot dogs are more abundant than sushi.

New sushi is not all that different from old sushi.

Yet the author still prefers sushi-eaters.

[Best of Craigslist]

Source

Filed under: Best of Craigslist, Bisexual Women, Funny Stuff, Hot Dog Eaters, Hot Dogs, Lesbians, Sushi, Sushi Eaters

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, Those Taxidermied Cats Were Fast as Lightning

Is this Best of Craigslist ad creepy? Adorable? Creepily adorable?

What we can say for sure is that this Craigslister is serious. Once again, we repeat, serious. And if you can show this guy a portfolio of your work, “it will probably give you an edge in the competition.”

Presuming, uh, there is competition for this kinda work.

Note: This squirrel is not dead or stuffed. But it probably wishes it were.

[Best of Craiglist]
[photo via Sugar Bush Squirrel: The World's Most Photographed Squirrel]

Thanks, Dave!

Filed under: Best of Craigslist, Childhood Obsessions, Craigslist, Creepy Stuff, Fetishes, Hobbies, Kung Fu Fighting, Kung Fu Taxidermy, Squirrels, Stuffed Animals

You Got to Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em, Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Puke

To see the original Craigslist post, click here.

Filed under: Asians Love Gambling, Best of Craigslist, Binge Drinking, Blackjack, Craigslist, Hot Asian Ladies, Party Foul, Puke, Puking in Public