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#Linsanity, The Valentine’s (Or VaLintine’s) Day Edition: Who Should Be Jeremy Lin’s Basketball Wife?
So Linsanity took, what, all of a week to sweep the nation? Now what?
If Jeremy Lin keeps playing the way he’s been playing, he’s going to have to negotiate a much bigger contract when he becomes an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. (Currently, he makes the league minimum.) But that’s for his sports agent to figure out.
And dude needs a place to live, since he’s currently–and adorably–crashing with his older brother Josh, who’s in dentistry school at NYU. But that’s for his real estate agent to figure out. Preferably after his sports agent figures out where Lin will be playing next year.
After all that, the next thing Lin ought to figure out is who his “And One” will be. Because nothing–apart from a lot of sparkly man-jewelry–says “I’ve arrived” in the NBA quite like a Basketball Wife, a boo to cheer you on when everyone else is, well, booing your sorry ass. And since it happens to be the holiday of
bitterness, loneliness, cliched expressions of affection, flawed diamonds, deli flowers, teddy bears that give you allergies, cheap boxes of chocolates, and crying yourself to sleep, er, LOVE, I’ve taken it upon myself to be Jeremy’s matchmaker. (And, yes, my ten percent cut can totally come in the form of courtside seats.)
Like it or not, at the moment, Jamie is arguably the most famous young Asian American Continue reading #Linsanity, The Valentine’s (Or VaLintine’s) Day Edition: Who Should Be Jeremy Lin’s Basketball Wife?
Filed under: Basketball, Basketball Wives, Beliebers, Girlfriends, Jamie Chung, Jeremy Lin, Jeremy Lin Girlfriend, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Kismet, Linsanity, Love, Matchmakers, Matchmaking, Michelle Wie, My Funny Valentine, NBA, New York Knicks, New York Sports, Rihanna, Rooney Mara, Selena Gomez, Valentine's Day, Vanessa Bryant
Everyone knows Justin Bieber has a badass bodyguard who’ll fuck you up if you try to harm a hair on the Biebs’ $750 coiffure. Which explains why the various Bieber-hater clans of the Internet resorted to hiring ninjas to infiltrate last night’s Grammys and destroy him.
The mercenaries came to the totally culturally irrelevant awards ceremony armed with throwing stars, poison darts, and their cloaks of invisibility to carry out their mission (and possibly catch a glimpse of Gaga getting hatched from an egg before, a sight not even ninjas get to see every day). But not long after the chorus to Bieber’s hit “Never Say Never” kicked in with “and there’s just no turning back/when your heart’s under attack,” the ninjas hired to kill the 16 year-old pop sensation realized that that was exactly what was happening to them.
Their cold ninja hearts were under attack, besieged with fever…Bieber Fever.
Filed under: Beliebers, Bieber, Bieber Fans Attack Esperanza Spalding's Wikipedia, Bieber Fans More Deadly Than Ninjas, Bieber Haters, Canadians, Crazy Bieber Fans, Esperanza Spalding, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber Ninja Backup Dancers, Lady Gaga Hatches From an Egg, Mercenaries, Ninjas, Ninjas Have Bieber Fever, Teen Pop Sensations, the Biebs, The Grammys, Usher, Who the Fuck Says Who the Heck Anyway?
Does the world need another high school musical? No. Yes? I dunno–it depends on how you feel about that sort of thing. But after Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens broke up last month–or did they?–because “they just grew up,” and with Zac graduating to new man roles like his part in The Lucky One, for which he put on lots and lots of man-muscle in order to play a war veteran with a manly albeit curious Southern accent–Get it people? Zac Efron is a man, now, okay?–something must be done to fill this terrible, awful void. Plus, high school musicals move nail polish units, apparently.
Enter Lemonade Mouth, brought to you by Disney Channel Original Movies–producers of HSM–the plot of which sounds something like The Breakfast Club meets School of Rock for the Belieber set. In other words, it will be awful! And, in other words, I will be watching it late at night on my DVR when I can’t sleep and am particularly vulnerable to bad TV starring teens with impossibly good skin who will make me feel only more wretched and old than I already do!
I will also be watching Lemonade Mouth for Hayley Kiyoko (pictured, center), who plays one of the lead misfits. Because the 19 year-old of Japanese descent is crazy talented. She plays the drums, keys, guitar, and writes her own music. I’m particularly partial to the song “Lungs” on her MySpace (listen here). She’s also in a girl group called The Stunners who opened for the Biebs last summer, not that you care (I mean, I don’t). And she’s so pretty in a tomboyish way-Hayley played Velma in both Cartoon Network Scooby Doo movies–she kind of demands your attention. Added bonus: she’s goofy as hell, as witnessed by this YouTube video she made last summer, when she and girl-groupmate Lauren Hudson, who’s also Asian, got stuck in the back of their tour van:
Filed under: Asian-American Singers, Beliebers, Cuties, Disney Channel, Disney Channel Original Movies, Glee, Hayley Kiyoko, High School Musical, High School Musicals, Japanese-Americans, Justin Bieber, Lauren Hudson, Lemonade Mouth, Mixed People, Scooby-Doo, Teen Talents, the Biebs, The Stunners, Tweens, Vanessa Hudgens, Vanessa Hudgens Naked Pictures, Zac Efron