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DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

December 1st, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

If Alicia Machado, actress/singer and former Miss Universe, hadn’t quit Twitter, perhaps she would’ve continued to chat with her pal, Mexican singer/actress Paulina Rubio, about the recent public outcry against her prayers for The Chinas. We imagine it might have gone something like…

YoSoyMzUniverse96* Alicia Machado
Me encanta @paurubio, thx 4 ur support w/ all the china drrama! ppl r stoopid

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 Hay girl! Dont let haterz hate. All thoz Japanes look the same!

YoSoyMzUniverse96 Alicia Machado
@paurubio wut ppl dont understand is i’m really a good person, jus wanted every1 to pray for those chinese ppl that are being attacked, not the 1s who attacked or nuthing

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 besos chica! ppl should be proud that such a hot mama knows so much abt current news affairs. n korea is same place as n asia/s japan, etc. all look same N E wayz Continue reading DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Kimberly Motley, Kabul’s Most Respected Lawyer

September 27th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana



Name: Kimberly Motley

Age: 35

Occupation: Lawyer, mom, former beauty queen

Known for: Helping foreigners sitting in Afghan jails. The Daily Beast‘s Elise Jordan just profiled the daughter of an American dad and South Korean mom, mother of three and 2004 Miss Wisconsin, who is currently a registered attorney with the American, British, Italian, Norwegian, German, and Canadian Embassies and recently negotiated the release of high-profile Brit detainee Bill Shaw. Motley wears neither a dress, veil nor headscarf in trial and is, according to Jordan, “one of the most respected lawyers in Kabul.”

From TDB:

Motley, who was crowned Mrs. Wisconsin in 2004, grew up in Milwaukee and earned her law degree at Marquette University. She had never traveled outside the U.S. before she began working to rebuild Afghanistan’s legal system in 2008 as a part of the State Department’s Justice Sector Program. Traveling around the countryside—visiting women’s prisons, juvenile detention centers, and some of Afghanistan’s roughest and toughest jails—she found that “not only were due process violations being ignored for virtually all of the accused persons, but there were quite a few foreigners trapped within the legal and prison system,” she says.

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Kimberly Motley, Kabul’s Most Respected Lawyer

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BABEWATCH: Haruna Ai

November 3rd, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Haruna Ai

Age: 37

Hails from: Japan


Haruna Ai, Miss International Queen 2009

Haruna Ai, Miss International Queen 2009




Why She’s A Babe: Over the weekend, the lovely Miss Haruna Ai was crowned winner at the famed transsexual Miss International Queen 2009 pageant in Thailand.

As if those pretty eyes, the perfect skin, that hourglass shape and supple lips weren’t enough, it seems pretty clear that the newly-crowned Miss International Queen is also quite lovely on the inside:

“I want contests like this to show everyone that they should love each other and live freely,” she told reporters after the win.

We hope for the same. Also, homegirl is glowing like a teen at 37–an inspirasian to us all. Go, sister!!!

[AFP: Transsexual Miss World Contest Aims To Boost Awareness]

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Miss USA’s National Costume–Also a Disgrace?

August 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Miss Japan: Before & After

The Miss Universe pageant will air August 23 on NBC, but competition is already underway. You may recall the recent mishegas surrounding Miss Japan’s national costume, which has been toned down after it was widely-criticized as a “disgrace”–no pink crotch-mound will be exposed during the show after all–but get a load of Miss USA’s outfit:


This is a beauty pageant, right? Where did that chick’s face go? And this is how we’re representing America in the Obama-era? With car-racing and camel-toe?

[via BuzzFeed]

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Confucius Say: Panama Should Be Worry

May 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

¿Quién supo?

Philosophizing in both Japanese and Chinese during the 6th Century would confuse us, too.

[via Dlisted]
[Jezebel: "Such As" Is A Global Phenomenon]


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Shit, She Won’t Date One of Us?

December 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It’s like some kind of trend: ugly, dumb chicks finding it hard to imagine themselves dating outside of their race! First Bad Girls, now aged beauty queens! Who’s next? Plastic surgery victims? Sorority rejects?

Nicole Johnson, the lovely former Miss America, admits she doesn’t
dislike Black people or nothin’, just sure as hell don’t smile
upon interracial dating (skip to 10:00 of this clip).

I mean, is it wrong that I’m kinda glad? I don’t want this face-bloat mixing all up in my gene pool!

Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

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Study Up, Miss World

November 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

OH NO!

It looks like the Hardass Asian Officials of my homeland have dethroned their lovely Miss Vietnam, 18-year-old Tran Thi Thuy Dung (pictured right), following government investigators’ discovery that she did not complete high school. Tran was taken out of school by her mother earlier this year, in order to prepare for a high-school equivalency qualification to improve her odds of studying in the U.S.

Currently, no suitable replacement has been found. The Wall Street Journal reports:

Shocked, Ministry of Culture officials stripped 18-year-old Tran Thi Thuy Dung of her most coveted prize — the right to represent Vietnam at this month’s Miss World contest in Johannesburg. Government officials in Hanoi are now trying to find a suitable candidate to send to South Africa. So far, they’ve drawn a blank.

Uh, whoops. I hate to butt in on this one or whatever, but, ah, I’m not convinced that a high school diploma is really all that important for a beauty contestant. I mean, really.

Just sayin’… My advice is to bag the search for the replacement and get this dummy back up on that catwalk! Let’s win it in Johannesburg for the motha country!!!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

May 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 24th birthday to Nadine Chandrawinata, former Miss Indonesia Universe! We’re not really sure what happens to retired beauty queens after all the competitions become memories, but we’re sure it involves lots of face cream and softly lit mirrors.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

November 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 34th Birthday, Aishwarya Rai. Many have called you The Most Beautiful Woman In the World for over a decade. And yeah, you totally are. Girl, what kind of moisturizer do you use?

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THE INSANITY BAROMETER

June 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This week, Vanessa Minnillo, formerly of MTV’s TRL, debuted a new line of cosmetics called Flirt. Here she is at the launch party:

I’m Betty Boop!

I’m going to eat you!

I’m going to eat you and fifty hot dogs at the same time!

Oh my god! The mannequin just farted!

Wowzers. Not only has the Insanity Barometer gone up, up, up, it’s shattered into a million pieces, and I’m eating broken glass off of the floor. As I snack on this dee-licious lunch, I thought I would write Va-mess-a a letter.

Dear Va-mess-a,

I am writing today out of concern for your mental health. Forgive me for being forward, but what the hell is wrong with you? I guess I should be happy that, in the above photos, no one’s holding a knife to your throat. Are you experiencing problems in your home life? We at DISGRASIAN are well-aware of how your boy Nick can render a girl batshit-crazy.

We also know of your, um, proclivity for crazyfaces.

I have a theory about why you seem to always take wack pictures. Stop me if you think I’m overthinking this. As a former beauty queen, who had to, no doubt, endure the humiliasian of taping your butt cheeks and putting Vaseline on your teeth to maintain that creepy pageant-smile, perhaps you’re finished with impressing other people with your looks. I respect that. You’re done with the Beauty Myth, the Feminine Mystique, and yada yada, and have moved on to posing with crazyfaces, because you want the world to see the REAL YOU and appreciate you for your mind, your critical faculties, your intelligence–

Wait a second. You’re Vanessa Minnillo. I am overthinking this.

On second thought, you’re nuts.

all the best,
Jen

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