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Save The Beards!

June 23rd, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NOT OKAY!

A city in Japan has banned beards at the workplace to cut down the need for summer air conditioning and reduce their carbon footprint. Seriously.

Food Artist Takao Sakai's Red Bean Beard

From Sky News:

The northeastern city of Isesaki says forcing office workers not to sport facial hair will mean they are less likely to need the air conditioning on in the summer months.

Civil servants are already being encouraged to forego jackets and ties during hot weather as part of a “Cool Biz” campaign.

A city official said there had been no complaints from employees since the ban was introduced last month and that it was a necessary part of Cool Biz.

The campaign was introduced in 2005 by the Japanese Ministry of Environment in an attempt to cut the country’s consumption of electricity, thereby reducing Japan’s carbon footprint.

Y’all, I love the planet so very much. Reducing one’s carbon footprint is super hot. And I admire the intent of the uh, poorly-named “Cool Biz” campaign, since most of the stories I hear about Japan’s relationship with the environment these days include buying off fellow IWC countries with hookers and coin to protect illegal whaling practices.

But beards… I love beards, too. And beards are so, so, so, so, sooooooo very hot. A ban on Continue reading Save The Beards!

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: RIP Chan Ho Park’s Beard

April 5th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Opening Day of baseball began with a moment of silence for the death of…

Before and Whatever

Chan Ho Park’s Beard.

Oh, Chan Ho Park’s Beard. We hardly knew you. Your life was cut short–no pun intended, this is a eulogy for fuck’s sake–and you did not make it long enough–ahem–to see your first year. But you accomplished great things in the precious little time you were with us. Is it a coincidence that around the time of your birth, The Face That Wore You had one of his best seasons in recent history? We think not. Is it a coincidence that only after you arrived, The Face That Wore You pitched in his first World Series? Nay.

Yet The Face That Wore You never understood your magic. He began to doubt you back in October, when his team lost to The Team That Forbids You. Surely it was then, as he witnessed their beard-murdering faces, one after the other, beating down his tribe with their wood clubs, that he began to plot your end. And later when The Face That Wore You switched allegiances to The Team That Forbids You, he all but signed your death sentence. Is it any wonder that in his first outing without you, victory eluded him? Does The Face That Wore You have any idea that, without you, he’s doomed to failure (in baseball and in hotness)?

Continue reading SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: RIP Chan Ho Park’s Beard

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Chan "Hot" Park

October 16th, 2009 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

In the NLCS, I’m rooting for our hometown Dodgers–who lost Game 1, 8-6, to the Phillies Thursday and were shutout in the 7th by Chan Ho Park–but I’m also root-root-rooting for Chan Ho’s sexxxy beard.


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Pogonomaniasian

April 8th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I know I’m gonna be in the model minority here, but there’s something different about these two wacktors. They’re looking better than usual:


Maybe it’s the beard-fest (yummers…so scruffy), but maybe it’s the Toyota logo. Suddenly Reeves and Brody seem practical, reliable, intuitive, smooth-riding, fuel-efficient, streamlined, forward-thinking, and aesthetically pleasing, for a reasonable price.

Hunh.

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